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cum copypasta


There’s no more cum left on Earth.

    Only the cumbender can save society then
    Open
    You're lying down in your bed, bringing you hands to your mouth once more to lubricate your penis. You've been masturbating for one hour now, yet you still haven't came and your penis is beginning to absorb your saliva, becoming a sticky, burning hot rod. Furiously, you begin to accelerate your masturbation rapidly. By two hours, your cock is burning in pain yet there is not a single drop of cum - not even precum.
    
    Meanwhile, next door, a girl is masturbating too, on stream, but they can't reach orgasm. In desperation, the girl has resorted to using multiple dildos inside her pussy, but even that is no use. The girl then makes a makeshift sex machine from a dildo and an electric power tool - once again, this is futile. She punches her pillow in defeat.
    
    By three hours, you've given up trying to cum and gone downstairs to watch more anime. However, upon seeing an anime girl fall over and have a panty shot, you feel the need to cum again. Biting your arm to lead the the pain away from your penis, you rapidly masturbate. By four hours, you're screaming as your rough masturbation soon rips the skin cells off your dick. Your cock is now a burning red giant, but there is no cum left - any precum that was there has evaporated.
    
    Meanwhile, the girl screams too - not because of finally reaching orgasm, but because they've gone so long without one that they've resorted to anything. Rapidly pushing the small cactus in and outside of herself, the girl's toe curl on bed sheets as blood flows out from her vaginal entrance. body spasming in pain - but still, she does not orgasm. The world is getting even more desperate.
    
    Suddenly, you get a discord notification from a friend, saying they've been trying to cum to Dream x George fanfiction, but they've ended up making their cock a, quote, "burning red giant." Your eyes open in shock horror - it can't be, can it? You rush to the television to ask your waifu how to resolve this mystery when you find that the TV has replaced the anime with an emergency government announcement - there's a new disease preventing orgasms... and its contagious. You feel as if you're about to faint, quickly looking up if there's a cure - there is none. You screech in anger, knowing that your waifu will never love you if you can't pour semen all over a shitty print out of her.
    
    Meanwhile, the girl cries, double fisting her bleeding self as she shrieks in rage, desperate to orgasm. What on Earth can a female do in life if they cannot orgasm? The girl is realising her chatterbate viewers are going down - she needs this orgasm. Realising that there is no hope, she illogically becomes even more desperate, suddenly barging into her brother's room, who is lying naked on the floor, dick ripped off next to a knife; the disease has claimed its first victim. She shoves the dick in her pussy, crying as the lactic acid burns her arm as she rapidly accelerates her brother's dethatched cock in and out, but it's no use: she has the disease.
    
    Suddenly, both of them stop. There's a large siren and a warning appears on the televisions of every house in the world, "There is no more cum." The world quickly devolves and you hear a car crash into your house. Out of nowhere, a man grabs you by the neck, desperately shoving his cock in your ass in the need of cum, raping you. Yet, it's no use - the man has the disease, and so do you. Luckily, there's a gun to the side and you manage to pry the discord moderator off, before killing him.
    
    Given a few weeks, society practically doesn't exist - it's like the apocalypse. Crime rates have skyrocketed as people loot dildo shops. The hospitals are beginning to crumble as more and more women show up with more and more exotic accidents. Meanwhile men are being completely taken over by their horniness: a female reporter is stood outside, reporting where the disease was first reported, and you feel the urge. You and the cameraman both turn on her trust, stripping her down and savagely pummelling her, but it's not use - you can not cum. The woman shouts, enraged too, for she can not orgasm either. Children in high school are to scared to go outside and you don't blame them, knowing what sickening lows you may succumb too once this disease truly takes control. Other children, who had already been on discord and thus knew about sex thanks to the moderators, have began spiralling into madness too - high schools have become orgies, with devastating costs to the countries IQ, you think.
    
    Eighty years pass and the human population plummets. Listening to Prokofiev's "Death of Tybalt" in your asylum room, you attempt to masturbate one more time. Unbeknownst to you, your the last human on the planet. Entire families have killed each other, each one raping the others corpse, foolishly believing from online sources that necrophilia was the cure. Men and women have killed themselves in spectacular accidents, dying in human crushes as hundreds of orgy-goers suffocate naked. Young teenagers have formed sex cults, praying to bizarre dank memes whilst furiously fucking each other in the hope that somehow, a fucking meme removes the symptoms of a disease. Like you thought, the IQ of the general population has lowered. However, you know better, you know there's no cure so you separated yourself from the idiots, hiding away in this asylum with a few staff who have recently died too... And you still can't cum. Wailing in sadness, you scratch and tear at your cock, wishing it to hell. Eventually, with enough force, you rip your sexual organ clean off and force it into your metal handcuffs.
    
    "What's this?" You think - it worked. The handcuffs are unlocked. You look outside to the asylum balcony. You can finally escape this petty world. "How men and women have fallen so far." You think, "To go from civil creatures to savage beasts, killing and raping everything in their path." You shake your head, thinking of the NatGeoWild documentaries you used to watch about savage apes. With a curse to the sky, the disease claims it's last life as the host throws itself off the balcony. Human life is gone and now, the disease has become animal born too. A few thousand years pass and there are no complex life forms at all...
    
    There's no more cum left on Earth.

    HELP. I UNCONTROLLABLY CUM WHENEVER I SEE A SMILY FACE.

      Smiley face do be making me feel weird underneath
      HELP!
      
      I (26M) was goin' to the bathroom at taco bell, as I normally do. as i reached into my big sweaty obese gaping asshole to grab my big fat squishy shits in order to shove them into the urinal, i noticed a cute lil' drawing on the stall. waddling my 300lb body over to get a better look, i realized what was drawn on the stall, a smiley face. i was immediately reminded of my lord and savior, daddy dream.
      
      i let out a roaring moan, shattering all the glass in the area, instantly letting everyone in that taco bell know of my presence. i ripped my clothes off, tugged on my dick, and started letting all of my body fluids drain out on the floor. sweat, pee, cum, shit, blood, organs, you name it, all flowing from my teeny weeny peenie hole. however, amidst my raging passion for dream, i hadn't realized what i had done! alas, everyone in that unisex bathroom stared at me in fear. men, women, children, all traumatized by the unholy sight ive forced apon their eyes.
      
      crying, i leaped out of a broken window, letting the glass scrape my unclothed flabs of stomach. i bolted into my car, but not before the police found me. with no time to think, i ran over 5 officers, an orphan, and a pregnant woman with my sexy prius. i managed to escape, but at what cost?
      I am currently living in the middle of nowhere. i will never talk to my family or my friends again. yesterday i ate a grilled rat for breakfast. i'm in constant fear of the police finding me, and i can only pray to dream that i'll be alright.
      
      anyone else having this problem?

      I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

        The turtle didn't even say a word 😔
        I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
        
        Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

        My most intense orgasm

          at least it was worth it amirite
          Story time: My most intense orgasm. Earlier this year, I had my most intense orgasm. I was in the middle of a zoom class when my teacher was teaching her philosophy class. Her webcam is at an angle where I can only see her torso. Her boyfriend was shouting at her to come to the kitchen in an emergency, and she rushed out of her chair. The thing is, when she jumped out, she hit her desk and the webcam's angle changed where we can see the whole body, and when she ran through the door we can see her butt-ass nude. Her pussy lips flopping like a two week old SubWay turkey sandwhich. Her boyfriend played a prank on her (I think) and he called her over just to slap her ass or to finger her or smth, and she left in such a hurry she forgot that she was unmuted. I think the boyfriend fingered her or smth cuz she let out a big scream and "oh my god I'm in class!". She came back in around 2 minutes and by that time I was already about to nut. My camera was angled to only see my face so I thought I was clear. The reality was, that she came back super embarassed to see that her mic and camera were exposing her and also saw my whopping load of cum shoot straight up and land back down on my nose. My crush saved a screenshot and posted it on her story. Now I am on my balcony, looking down. Goodbye everyone, and for anyone who asks, it was worth it.

          Cum energy future becomes a reality:

            his son is called F2-Y8 lmao
            Your son, F2-Y8, is having his 13th birthday party soon. You sigh, knowing that will be the day he becomes of age. You check the mail, and see a familiar logo: the symbol for recycling, except the three arrows are three sperm cells. It is a letter from the Department of Cum Extraction, notifying you that another daily load of cum is now expected from your household. Failure to produce said daily load within 3 days of your son’s birthday will result in a cum tax. Your family can’t afford another cum tax. You hesitantly head to your son’s room to explain what his fate will be until he can no longer produce cum. You show him the location of the ol’ household sperm tube and how to use it. He seems embarrassed and confused at first, but you know that one day he will get used to it.

            Cum is the future of renewable energy!

              daddy's milk uwu
              Cum, more specifically sperm, is the future of renewable energy! Now you may think I’m crazy, but hear me out for a second. Upon ejaculation, a male releases 15 to 200 million sperm cells. According to the 2010 Census, there are 151.8 million males in the United States. If 151.8 males produced even the lowest number of 15 million sperm cells, it would result in there being somewhere in the quadrillions of these tiny things, and that’s just a single day. I know you’re probably wondering what this has to do with renewable energy, and we’re getting there now. Because of the sheer amount of these things, they could likely generate insane amounts of heat despite their microscopic stature, if placed close together. My proposal is that every male in the country cums at least once per day in an aptly named, “sperm tube”, which is placed in every household and connects to an underground facility, where the cells are being collected in one big dome, which connect to another set of tubes that transfer their heat energy to every home in the country. So what are we waiting for? We are using up all of our natural resources despite a perfectly viable, cheap, and renewable source living under our noses as we speak. You can do your part. Start protesting and make our goal known to the government. Recruit more people to join our cause. Preserve your sperm to make a statement. Climate change is a serious issue, and this would drastically reduce our use of non renewable resources, in simple terms, your cum can save the world. This won’t be an easy fight, but if we all band together, I believe we can do it!