Among Us – Oh Hi Mark
I did not kill her, it's not true, it's bullsh**, I did not kill her, I did not.
Gets ejected anyways...
*2 imposter remains* Copypasta
I fucked a DVD.
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the dvd, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken dvd over and realized that it was not a blank dvd, but a copy of the movie UP.
Well guys, guess I fucked up.I’m so proud of my daughter for stopping a bank robbery
I'm so proud of my daughter for stopping a bank robbery today. The robbers went in and held their guns up, telling everyone to put their hands in the air. My daughter (only 3 years old!) stood her ground, faced them directly in the eye, and simply said "If you're being mugged, just say no. Your robbers cannot legally take any of your possessions." Almost instantaneously, the robbers collapsed to the floor, suffering from a bipolar seizure. Everyone clapped and she was given position as senator of the state of Florida, as well as invited by the Democratic National Convention to run for President in 2020. What an unbelievable event! I'm so blessed by God to have such a wonderful child.Ben Shapiro ok this is epic
So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.Ｉ ａｃｃｉｄｅｎｔａｌｌｙ ｄｏｗｎｌｏａｄｅｄ ａ ｖｉｒｕｓ
Ｉ ａｃｃｉｄｅｎｔａｌｌｙ ｄｏｗｎｌｏａｄｅｄ ａ ｖｉｒｕｓ ａｎｄ ｎｏｗ Ｉ ｃａｎ ｏｎｌｙ ｗｒｉｔｅ ｉｎ ＷＩＤＥ ＬＡＴＩＮ ａｎｄ ａｌｓｏ ｗｈｅｎｅｖｅｒ Ｉ ｔｙｐｅ ＷＩＤＥ ＬＡＴＩＮ ｉｔ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｅｔｓ ｃａｐｉｔａｌｉｚｅｄ ｈｅｌｐExcuse me, WHAT?
Excuse me, WHAT? Did you really, truly, actually just say what I think you did? Are you seriously that moronic?! No way. There is absolutely no way. I simply refuse to believe that someone as idiotic as you seem exists. It defies logic. And yet, here we are. Standing in an infinite field of your insane bablings. Witness to the ineffable stupidity of your mind. I have no words, but I'm certainly trying. Look, saying Earth is flat? Pretty reasonable. Hitler is still alive on a nazi moon base? Relatively sane. The government is lizard people? Sure, why not? But you?! What you just said?! Nuh-uh. Nope. I'm out of here. This is too much.