copypasta text

Post that makes Americans get shot by a SWAT team if they read it

Parody of the Tiananmen Square copypasta but Americanized version.

North Dakota Access Pipeline Protests 北达科他州接入管道抗议 Ferguson Riots 弗格森暴动 2017 St. Louis protests2017年圣路易斯抗议活动 Nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll 比基尼环礁的核试验 Unite the Right rally 团结右集会 Charlotte riots 夏洛特暴动 Attack on the Sui-ho Dam 袭击穗河水坝 Milwaukee riots 密尔沃基骚乱 Shooting of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile 奥尔顿·斯特林和菲兰多·卡斯蒂利亚的射击 Occupation of the Malheur NationalWildlife Refuge Malheur国家野生动物保护区的占领 death of Freddie Gray 弗雷迪·格雷的死 Shooting of Michael Brown迈克尔·布朗的拍摄 death of Eric Garner, Oakland California 奥克兰奥克兰市埃里克·加纳（Eric Garner）逝世 Operation Condor 神鹰行动 Occupy WallStreet 占领华尔街 My Lai Massacre 我的大屠杀 St. Petersburg, Florida 佛罗里达州圣彼得堡 Kandahar Massacre 坎大哈屠杀 1992Washington Heights riots 1992年华盛顿高地暴动 No Gun Ri Massacre 无枪杀案 L.A. Rodney King riots 洛杉矶罗德尼·金暴动 1979 Greensboro Massacre 1979年格林斯伯勒大屠杀 Vietnam War 越南战争 Kent State shootings肯特州枪击案 Bombing of Tokyo 轰炸东京 San Francisco Police Department Park Station bombing 旧金山警察局公园站爆炸案 Assassination of MartinLuther King, Jr. 小马丁·路德·金遭暗杀。 Long Hot Summer of 1967 1967年炎热的夏天 Bagram 巴格拉姆 Selma to Montgomery marches 塞尔玛到蒙哥马利游行 Highway of Death 死亡之路 Ax Handle Saturday 星期六斧头 Battle of Evarts 埃瓦茨战役 Battle ofBlair Mountain 布莱尔山战役 McCarthyism 麦卡锡主义 Red Summer 红色夏天 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Pottawatomie massacre 盆大屠杀 Jeju uprising 济州起义 Colfaxmassacre 科尔法克斯大屠杀 Reading Railroad massacre 阅读铁路大屠杀 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Bay viewMassacre 湾景大屠杀 Lattimer massacre 拉蒂默大屠杀 Ludlow massacre 拉德洛屠杀 Everett massacre 埃弗里特屠杀Centralia Massacre 中部大屠杀 Ocoee massacre Ocoee大屠杀 Herrin Massacre 赫林大屠杀 Redwood Massacre红木大屠杀 Columbine Mine Massacre 哥伦拜恩矿难 Guantanamo Bay 关塔那摩湾 extraordinary rendition 非凡的演绎 Abu Ghraib torture and prison abuse 阿布格莱布的酷刑和监狱虐待 Henry Kissinger 亨利·基辛格

North Dakota Access Pipeline Protests 北达科他州接入管道抗议 Ferguson Riots 弗格森暴动 2017 St. Louis protests 2017年圣路易斯抗议活动 Project 4.1 項目4.1 Nuclear testing at Bikini Atoll 比基尼环礁的核试验 Unite the Right rally 团结右集会 Charlotte riots 夏洛特暴动 Indonesian genocide 印度尼西亚大屠杀 Attack on the Sui-ho Dam 袭击穗河水坝 Milwaukee riots 密尔沃基骚乱 Shooting of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile 奥尔顿·斯特林和菲兰多·卡斯蒂利亚的射击 Occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge Malheur国家野生动物保护区的占领 death of Freddie Gray 弗雷迪·格雷的死 Shooting of Michael Brown 迈克尔·布朗的拍摄 Death of Eric Garner, Oakland California 奥克兰奥克兰市埃里克·加纳（Eric Garner）逝世 Operation Condor 神鹰行动 Occupy WallStreet 占领华尔街 NSA totalitarian surveillance state 美國國家安全局極權監視 My Lai Massacre 我的大屠杀 St. Petersburg, Florida 佛罗里达州圣彼得堡 Kandahar Massacre 坎大哈屠杀 1992 Washington Heights riots 1992年华盛顿高地暴动 No Gun Ri Massacre 无枪杀案 L.A. Rodney King riots 洛杉矶罗德尼·金暴动 1979 Greensboro Massacre 1979年格林斯伯勒大屠杀 Project MKUltra MKUltra计划 Vietnam War 越南战争 Korean War genocide 韓戰平民傷亡 Kent State shootings 肯特州枪击案 Support of Hissene Habre 支持侯賽因·哈布雷 Gadaffi murder 卡扎菲被謀殺 Bombing of Tokyo 轰炸东京 Bombing of Laos 轟炸寮國 Bombing of Cambodia 轟炸柬埔寨 Operation Menu 操作選單 Operation Freedom Deal 自由交易行動 Phoenix Program 鳳凰計劃 Bodo League Massacre 保導聯盟事件 San Francisco Police Department Park Station bombing 旧金山警察局公园站爆炸案 Operation Yellowbird 黃雀行動 Assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. 小马丁·路德·金遭暗杀。 Long Hot Summer of 1967 1967年炎热的夏天 Bagram 巴格拉姆 Selma to Montgomery marches 塞尔玛到蒙哥马利游行 Highway of Death 死亡之路 Ax Handle Saturday 星期六斧头 Battle of Evarts 埃瓦茨战役 Battle of Blair Mountain 布莱尔山战役 McCarthyism 麦卡锡主义 Operation Paperclip 回纹针行动 largest prison population in the world 世界上監獄人數最多 Red Summer 红色夏天 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Pottawatomie massacre 盆大屠杀 Jeju uprising 济州起义 Colfax Massacre 科尔法克斯大屠杀 Massacre of Cernis 卡瓦莱斯缆车事故 Reading Railroad Massacre 阅读铁路大屠杀 Operation LAC LAC行動 Rock Springs massacre 岩泉大屠杀 Bay View Massacre 湾景大屠杀 Cascadia movement 卡斯卡迪亚 Lattimer massacre 拉蒂默大屠杀 Ludlow massacre 拉德洛屠杀 Everett massacre 埃弗里特屠杀 Centralia Massacre 中部大屠杀 Ocoee massacre Ocoee大屠杀 Operation Gladio 格拉迪奥行动 USA PATRIOT Act 美國愛國者法案 Herrin Massacre 赫林大屠杀 Project Mockingbird 知更鳥計劃 Redwood Massacre 红木大屠杀 Columbine Mine Massacre 哥伦拜恩矿难 Guantanamo Bay 关塔那摩湾 Operation Sea-Spray 海洋飞沫行动 extraordinary rendition 非凡的演绎 COINTELPRO 反情報計劃 Gulf of Tonkin incident 東京灣事件 Operation Bloodstone 雞血石行動 Mukaradeeb Wedding massacre 穆卡拉迪布婚禮派對大屠殺 Mahmudiyah rape and killings 伊拉克馬赫穆迪亞美軍姦殺事件 Nisour Square massacre 黑水公司巴格達槍擊案 Abu Ghraib torture and prison abuse 阿布格莱布的酷刑和监狱虐待 Nayirah Testimony 奈伊拉證詞 Henry Kissinger 亨利·基辛格 Palestinian genocide 以色列 加薩種族滅絕 Color Revolutions 颜色革命 Operation Wetback 濕背行動 Tuskegee Human Experimentation 塔斯基吉梅毒試驗 Forced Sterilization of Immigrants at ICE concentration camps 美國移民及海關執法局 (ICE) 拘留中心的強制絕育 Operation Whitecoat 白衣行動 Iraq Body Count 伊拉克死亡人數統計 Hawaii 夏威夷州 Operation Deliberate Force 慎重武力行动 Destruction of Yugoslavia 南斯拉夫的毀滅 US bombing of the Chinese embassy in Belgrade 美国轰炸中国驻南联盟大使馆事件 Dixieland 迪克西 State of Deseret 德撒律州 Aztlán Movement 阿茲特蘭 Coup against Kwame Nkrumah 夸梅·恩克魯瑪政變 Operation Top Hat 高帽行動 Haditha Massacre 哈迪塞屠杀事件 Imprisonment of Nelson Mandela 納爾遜·曼德拉入獄 Operation CHAOS CHAOS行動 Project MERRIMAC MERRIMAC專案 Vault 7 避難所7 PRISM Program 稜鏡計畫 William Binney 威廉賓尼 Edward Snowden 愛德華斯諾登 Chelsea Manning 切爾西·曼寧 Aaron Swartz 亚伦·斯沃茨 Julian Assange 朱利安·阿桑奇 CIA/NED funding of regime change groups CIA/NED為政權更迭行動提供資金 Human Rights 民運 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Epstein Island 愛潑斯坦島 Military-Industrial-Congressional Complex (MICC) 也称军事工业国会复合体 Operation Earnest Voice 熱心行動 ChinaAngVirus Disinformation Campaign ChinaAngVirus 假訊息活動 Killing Hope 扼殺希望 Manufacturing Consent 製造共識 Red Scare propaganda 红色恐慌

I fucked a DVD.

isn't the hole of a dvd pretty small? — Source

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the dvd, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken dvd over and realized that it was not a blank dvd, but a copy of the movie UP.

Well guys, guess I fucked up.

You call that a copypasta?

You call that a copypasta? Uh, dude, I don't mean to hit you hard with the cold water or anything, but that's not a copypasta. It is, by all definitions, NOT a copypasta. That's just a wall of text. Those are two different things albeit being related: not all copypastas are text walls, and not all text walls are copypastas. No rational person would think to themselves "It's a good idea to copy and paste this!" in any situation whatsoever. Like sure, I can copy this, I am capable of pressing Ctrl + C, but then where do I paste it? In Notepad or Pastebin? Any social media site? Of course not, that just makes me look like a creep and a weirdo! What makes you think I would even consider copying it in the first place?! You'd have a better chance of finding my corpse hung on a meat hook than seeing me post that ANYWHERE. Think of it this way: let's assume some idiot on Reddit made a bad take, presumably about something you and many others like. This happens daily, of course, but in the event that the hypothetical braindead non-intellectual does say something along the lines of "I hate this, I hate that, just because it exists" and you feel compelled to send that copypasta as a reply. BOOM! Story about incest jumpscare. Do you think that's a good response to an objectively dumbass take? Do you think that would get you some easy updoots as well as serve as a legitimate comeback to the hypothetical braindead non-intellectual? In every possible dimension the answer is NO, this makes you just as stupid as the hypothetical braindead non-intellectual! You'd be looking like you were a ragebait Quora repost bot that got lost. And even worse, because the copypasta message uses first-person reference, there is sure to be some people thinking that what you just copypasted is an actual story that YOU are telling them! I don't give a damn whether it is fake or not - it's disgusting, repulsive, abhorrent, deplorable, and above all, it is NOT a copypasta! And even if you pasted it as a joke, it's a very badly executed joke at that, even more so than when Shane Dawson made the joke of cumming on his cat! This is not even a joke at all! Who do you think you are, Amy Schumer? At least with the Vaporeon copypasta, its absurdity had a level of humor that overtook the disgust most normie internet viewers would feel when reading it. But that? That is absolute garbage. No one would find it funny. It's just pathetic and sad and makes you a nincompoop for even trying. No one would even appreciate the small effort you went through to copy and paste this ridiculous, garbage low-budget Wattpad fanfic about how one lost his virginity to his sibling. No one wants to read that, not even for fun. Don't ever consider saying that's a copypasta, because it's not, and you need immediate therapy and mental help as well as a deep and existential rethink of your life choices if you say otherwise. It is nothing more than a fabrication, a text wall of filthy content that benefits neither the writer nor the copypaster. It's not worth considering and it never was.

That's about it. See ya.

I have noticed that, although Discord has 260 million registered accounts , my server does not have 260 million members.

I have noticed that, although Discord has 260 million registered accounts , my server does not have 260 million members. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'join'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to join my most recent servers. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.

How I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)

Eh? You’ve never seen a pair of breasts before?

Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand...

HERE! BOING!

AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, anon! Th-Th-They're just sacks of fat on my chest, ya know! Do they really excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how they bounce up and down! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to squeeze them too, don't you, Mr. Perverted Virginboy Anon?! G-Go right ahead! Honk these honkin' honkers as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'em too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful; my nipples are super hard right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~!

I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my vagina too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm not wearing p-panties anyway!

S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, anon! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking Crikes, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a girl all hot and bothered! Oh, lordy! Christ-on-a-stick! You'd better take some responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And I'm leaking like a freaking sieve here! You'd better p-p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!