I need a girlfriend between the age of 15-17, she needs to have either colored hair or their natural hair needs to be darker than brown hair. They need clout and preferably should be really hot, and they need to laugh at every one of my jokes, even the not funny ones. They also need to have a juice ass, she also needs to be stable. Psychically and mentally . She needs to be a rock, she needs to stable enough to punch in the chest and be able to survive and withstand. She needs to be emotionally stabel enough for me to bully her reltenlessly and her be okay. She also needs to be a fan of the following youtubers Captian Sparkles, PewDiePie, MarkiePoo, Minecraft, JackieSepticEye , Jenna Marbles, JeffSwiper, Grandayy, Not Dolan Dark, and Dude Perfect. She needs to be my edgy weeb gf and be able to send me funny memes (but not from trashgram) and have at least 10k Karma, any less will be a disqualification. she also needs to be a fan of the harry Potter films but i haven't read the books so idk about them, she has to be in Griffendor (even though I am hufflepuff) and hate any slitheryn. She must also be less than 5'5 or I will step on her. I need her to hate anime but she needs to be a fan of the game Persona 5 but her only romance options should be Goth Doctor, if she choose Ann she gets a lethal injection
The first time I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you. In school I was always there for you when assholes you dated treated you with 1% of the respect I have for you in 1% of my heart alone. I always offered to pay for your lunch even when you were dating other guys. When you wanted to go out because an asshole had broke up with you and you needed to take your mind off it and I was busy I made time for you, but I also respected you when you were busy. In tenth grade when I masturbated for the first time I didn't think of pornstars like other guys but I thought of you. At prom you were the only one I wanted to take but you went with a douche who had asked another girl before you. That's the reason I didn't go because I couldn't go with you. I never told you this before but you've gone as far as you need to with all the assholes you date. I'll be the last guy you ever date. Because we will never break up. A brother wouldn't do any of this but that's what you call me?!?!?!?!
Oh so I’m a simp?
- Complimenting woman on Twitter makes me a simp?
- Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp?
- Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp?
You’re right. It does make me a simp.
(S)uper
(I)ncredible
(M)an
Oh, so you support your girlfriend?
You simp. Okay Homer SIMPson. You absolute simpanzee. OOO OOO OO OO EE EE OO 🐒 <- that is you. You are nothing but sludge . You are putrid muck given form, weakness personified. I am not sympathetic. You are simp pathetic.
Looking for a female roomate to pay $0 rent I will not charge you money, but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reasons rather not say on here. I will expect hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement, you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they may visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Physical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 Ibs, caucasian or asian only, republican, biologically female, no tattoos, no Muslims, no vegans, no smoking/ vaping, marywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 Ibs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement. everyone
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