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Copypasta Simp

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.


*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga

    Every “jaws drop on floor” and “awooga humina humina” copypasta that started as a joke response circa 2020.

    Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum* 
    A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
    jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth
    Whoa mama! Humina humina bazooing!
    Whoa mama! Humina humina bazooing!
    WHOA MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA! BAZOOOOOOIING eyes bulge out of head and shoot forward at 120 mph AROOOOOOOOOOOOGA jaw drops to the floor, tongue rolls out a foot forward HAWT MAMA! punches self in face with boxing glove five times HOOLEY DOOLEY pulls on train whistle that has appeared beside head as steam blows out EEE-AW EEE-AW pulls out comically large carton of milk, drinks all of it spilling it everywhere GUHGUHGUHGUHGUHGUH wolf whistle AROOOOOOOOOOO AROOOOOOOO tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart ARF ARF ARF ARF rubs ass on ground like dog WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF eyes turn into slot machine slots WOWZA! tapdancing sounds, running in a circle JEEPERS HEEPERS pants like dog, rips off pants, heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM slams fists on table rattling any silverware or plates DUUUUUUHHHH bashes own head with hammer 5 times BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK slams chair on table BWOOOAAGHHHH old-timey car horn sound, tongue straightens out like wooden board, eyes go out of skull and back in like paddleballs CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA fireworks shoot from top of head PHWOAARRR sniffs air loudly, nostrils become comically large HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA sound of mouth harp as body is straightened out, floating a foot above the ground JEEZ LOUISE propeller spins on hat comically WOWEEE gets massive erection, tries to aggressively push it back down into pants OINKA OINKA pulls out massive drum, starts beating it excessively HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA jumps on table, smashes through table and ground, springs back upward at an incredible velocity HOOOLY MOOOOLY pupils fly away from eyes, eyes snap forward towards them OOOOOOH I'M DYYYYYYYYYYIIN' fucking dies, ghost goes out of corpse with a lyre, body pulls ghost back into body WHADDA DAAAAME starts foaming at the mouth HUUUUUUUURRRRRR furiously turns crank on machine that hits hands on table GRRRR BARK BARK BARK head unscrews and starts rotating BUH-DOOIIOIOIOING starts rattling like a jar of coins, suspended half a metre in the air DING DING DING DING DING DING starts bouncing up and down at a high speed, starts boiling like tea kettle and turning red HAAAHEEEEEE
    Wheeeee! Oinka oinka! Haaaaaaheeee! A- whooooga A-whoooooga! Aaaaaargh! Hneeeeeeeee! Fnrgh! Grunt grunt! Hinggggg! Whazzo!
    
    Boink

    Emoji version

    (Jaw drops 😲 to the floor 😱. Eyes pop out 😵. Sound effect 📣 of, "🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨!!!!" Places eyes 😶 and jaw 👅 back in place 🤤. Regains 😤 composure 😌.) ... Eh hem 🕵️, you three 💁💁💁 look quite lovely 😍.

    HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!

    AUUUUGAA! HONKA HONKA! Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out accompanied by trumpets AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops, tongue rolls out, WOOF WOOF WOOF, heart beats out of chest, AWOOGA AWOOGA sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair, I take out a boxing glove and hit myself with it 17 times. Turns to the audience and say in 1930’s New York accent “HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!”

    Ahem, you look very lovely

    *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

    I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture

      Average steam comments on girl profile pic
      hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture. i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why it's a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirtring i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk you look really nice and fun xxx 

      My boyfriend is spending $1000/month on OnlyFans woman

        I (31F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for a year, and we’re moving in together. I do accounting so I’m calculating our finances to estimate what we can afford. I noticed a $1000 charge EVERY month on his statements. I asked about it and he said it’s for OnlyFans woman. He says he's never cheated and never will and he's never met or talked to this woman. She's American so he says there is no chance of anything happening, but there’s no reason to stop paying once we live together.
        
        I'm stunned. My boyfriend is a simp. There are no other words. I do not object to the pornography with consenting adults and I don't care if he looks at it. But we’ve been together for a year. Continued simping when we live together and merge our finances is red flag. I've said I'm uncomfortable and won't live with him if he continues simping, but he just repeats the never cheated act. I feel like I'm being gaslighted because now he's angry I won't live with him. I needed to get this out to process because I was so shocked when I found out my boyfriend is a simp.

        A girl…. AND a gamer?

          Eyes pop out AROOOGA!
          A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~

          Oh my fucking god, I cannot stand it anymore…

            Oh my fucking god, I cannot stand it anymore... I think I must've become a simp at some point recently because every time I look at you I just get a massive fucking erection. Your face look like it was hand designed by a thousand angels... And you have an uttermost beautiful style of clothing as well, if you happen to have a twitch account, please be sure to add me at xXPussy_Destroyrr69420wholesomekeanuchungussub2pewdiepieXx. I promise I'll donate every cent that I make every month, I usually just mow lawns for my elderly neighbor, Mrs. Anderson, but I swear I can do so much more! I'll probably get a job at Burger King since you get very delicious lunch breaks there!! And I'll make you the happiest girl in this green earth, you are so extremely beautiful it pains me to know I can't be on that bed with you... And people say you can't be a respectful man these days, well, as a brony, anime lover and gamer 4 life who definitely enjoys his time, I can assure you I'll be able to show you what a REAL man can do. Please baby I love you. I also do Fedora tricks.

            God I love her so fucking much

              I love her so fucking much copypasta
              god I love her so fucking much, I have never met her but I need to breed with her, it is literally my only goal or purpose in life to have sex with this female individual. I need her. a thousand thoughts go through my head every minute and 900 of those are thinking about sex with her. I want to fuck this woman until she screams my name while I inject several gallons of my sticky off-white yellowish semen. I genuinely cannot stop thinking about this woman. if I had to kill every man woman in child on the planet including myself just to keep this genuine godess alive, I would be cocking my assault rifle before you could even finish speaking. there is quite literally nothing that I would not do for this woman. I need to know who she is. I need her in my life. she is my everything. like simon fucking viklund I will give her my all, I will give her the ejaculatory equivalent to a dozen horses all cumming in unison. she will look like that scene in suicide squad when the joker jumps into a giant vat of chemicals except instead of the joker its her and instead of chemicals its my fucking cum. I will literally cum more than my entire body could possibly contain in volume. I will violate the laws of physics just to cum on this woman as much as I can. god I cant fucking stand living without her. the fact that I dont know who she is or where she lives is the most genuinely painful experience any human being on the planet could possibly go through. kidney stones and pregnancy are fucking nothing compared to how I feel not being able to be with my one true love. the woman to end all women. a literal godess. you think the voices in your head are permeating? try being unendingly plagued by thoughts of constant fucking sex with this woman knowing you can never have her. every night in my dreams I see her imperceptibly beautiful face, like the fucking radiance I can''t get her out of my head I genuinely cannot exist without this woman. if I were to learn that this woman is no longer alive I would quite literally just fucking melt. the cops would find me melted like a wax figure into my $4000 razer RGB gaming chair, after dying of sadness and misery.