I’ve been radicalizing my family members and my girlfriend for months now, but yesterday my mom wanted to talk about some political videos she had been watching. We’d talked about Ben Shapiro before and I had explained how he’s a grifter, so she sought his videos out and apparently found him far more convincing than I have been. Whereas before she was all on board with everything I had explained to her, about workers rights, American labor history, the contradictions of capitalism, etc., the few Ben Shapiro videos she watched were apparently enough to plant that conservative tick in her. She wanted to argue yesterday about how there shouldn’t be minimum wage laws because Ben Shapiro made what she though were good arguments, saying it wasn’t okay to force employers to pay a certain amount and that a job making $5/hr is better than no job at all.
I was taken aback and tried explaining to her why Ben Shapiro and others like him are a bad influence again, and in the middle of my talking both she and my girlfriend got on YouTube and my mother began watching another Shapiro clip while my girlfriend went and watched a Liberty Hangout video (since I had brought that channel up too and my girlfriend watches it sometimes, “because it’s entertaining and she doesn’t actually listen to Katelyn’s opinions,” which is obviously not true because you when you expose yourself to the brainwash it’s very difficult to fight it, especially when you don’t know it’s there and are politically illiterate).
I just feel so defeated. If I can’t even get my own family members to care and understand, how am I supposed to get anyone else to? I’m not as effective a rhetorician as Ben Shapiro and apparently my loved ones really are the “advertising doesn’t work on me” types. My mother is obviously going to get further radicalized now because YT is gonna put more rightist videos in her recommended, and since these people uphold the establishment values she grew up with she finds them more convincing than my showing and explaining all the secrets and bad things about the US and capitalism. It’s so disheartening and depressing and I just don’t know how to combat the brainwash anymore
Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
The other day I attempted to take down Ben Shapiro by digging up offensive Tweets. Hours upon hours I scrolled, looking through libtard destruction through the years in hopes of finding something to destroy the smug bastard. Finally, I found something. Half chubbed, I chortled, "finally! A weapon to defeat Daddy Shapiro! I'll go call the DNC!"
Suddenly I hear a rumbling sound in the distance. As it starts growing louder I knew I was in for a fight. Suddenly, my door flies open so fast it disappears, presumably with all the other libtards who have been destroyed. He's here. Stepping through the door, Chad energy radiating from him, is Ben Shapiro. "So, you dare challenge me libtard?" Ben asked with a smirk. I stayed silent, simply allowing my chub to grow to 75%. "Well you're in for a fight." He said as he conjured up a 5 foot long gavel out of thin air.
I wasted no time, rushing straight for him, but Shapiro was prepared and blocked me. "You're a quick one aren't you?" He chuckled, before bashing me with his gavel. As 82 genders were knocked out of me, I fell to the floor and saw him standing above, laughing. "And here I thought you'd put up a good fight. Shameful."
I wasn't out yet; I still had tricks up my sleeve. I ran to my computer and searched for Tumblr. My ace in the hole. As I began reading off blogs shaming straight white men, I could see him weakening. Lucky for me my cuck powers allowed me to be unaffected. Knowing he was weak, I searched for DeviantArt. He knew my plan. As I searched up gay furry porn he closed his eyes and approached me before shouting facts and logic into my ears.
I fell out of my chair and recoiled. Something had taken over me. The facts and logic were too much. He had defeated me. Looking over me with his gavel, he destroyed the computer and said, "heh, another libtard destroyed." He then swung his gavel down, popping my testicles like a balloon filled with spaghetti and meatballs before shooting out through the ceiling. As I reached peak cuck-atude, I vowed my revenge towards Ben. Although he was gone, I still heard his voice in my head, saying "okay this is epic."
Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
