Breaking Bad Ruined Our Sex Life
Throwaway account because my family knows my main, and I don’t want them to know about this.
So as the title states, BB has ruined our sex life. It started with us getting frisky to the show, and devolved to the point where we can’t even have sex without it on.
If I’m on top I’ll watch the show while I do my thing. We both turn our heads to the side and watch it on the TV. We love doggy style because we can both watch it at the same time. Originally missionary was our favourite due to the intimacy, but we stopped it because we couldn’t watch the show.
A bit innocent so far, but the memes are where it goes downhill.
There’s a meme of Mike Ehrmantraut going “Walter. Put your dick away Walter. I’m not having sex with you right now.”
Now we found this absolutely hilarious and it somehow devolved into it being incorporated; If one wants sex and the other doesn’t, the immediate reply is doing a Mike impression and going “Put your dick away Walter.”
What’s even worse is that we changed it to say “Get your dick out Walter” or “Let me see those 8balls, Walter.” If we do want to have sex. I can’t even remember the last time either of us asked for sex normally.
Not only that, but during the act itself we make jokes about it.
“I’m like Walter and you’re like Mike, cuz I’m about to shoot something into your stomach!”
“I’m gonna make a meth outta you!”
“Choke me like Walt did to Krazy 8!”
“*in a Jesse voice* Yo I’m bout to shoot all over your face, Gale!”
All of these are actual things we’ve said.
Because of this weird obsession, everytime we see an RV we get horny. Everytime we hear the intro. Everytime someone mentions meth or the name Walter. Even when we see memes of the show on Discord or YouTube.
So yeah. That’s pretty much it. Breaking Bad fucking ruined our sex life and there’s no turning back now. Fuck sakes.
