Blowjob

Pardon me for being Straight Forward and blunt. do you like going down on a guy?

Hey, how are you Beautiful? I seen your picture and thought you were cute. Pardon me for being Straight Forward and blunt. but, i was curious, do you ever meet guys offline? if so. do you like going down on a guy? whats the longest blowjob you ever gave a guy? do you like to swallow? I have a blowjob fetish
basically which is why im asking. Forgive me if I offend you. but, I'm looking for a girl to move in with or live in a tent soemwhere with me .if you are interested in being my new, submissive blowjob slave girlfriend. id love to be with you.

Most people just suck at giving blowjobs

Started as a comment to someone saying its hotter to give blowjobs than receiving one.

no most people just suck at giving them so most of you don't know what you're missing. I've slept with like 12 people and only one of them was any good at giving head but oh boy was she good at giving head. They say to never stick your dick in crazy but I still miss her... I hate cigs but she Pavlov'd me into getting aroused by the scent of hers in particular and now every so often some human ashtray walks by and mentally teleports me back to her bedroom.

Fellatio and cunnilingus are NOT equitable: One is a helluva lot more difficult than the other!

The human penis was so perfectly created for sucking, it's literally the design-prototype for the popsicle. That's why it's so easy & straightforward. In fact, you can even do it while playing Mario Kart.
But cunnilingus requires a singular, uni-task commitment, cuz you're basically snacking on an open wound. There's no watching Netflix or doing ANYTHING else when you're going down on a woman: Your head is buried, like a frightened ostrich. If you're lucky, you can still hear the stereo. So trading one for the other is totally unfair for the guy!

I say, 3 fellatio = 1 cunnilingus. That's a fair trade. (I'm also open to nontraditional trades, like something Bobby Bonilla's agent would think of: 1 fellatio + 1 sandwich + 1 nap = 1 cunnilingus.)

How to give a sloppy blowjob: a thread 🫶🏻

step 1: make sure they are all relaxed undressed and ready for the sloppy toppy

step 2: spit on it and rub it all over it slowly natural lube and getting it hard is pretty important!!

step 3: lick the tip with nothing else touching it make it twitch at the slow licks you give it make them sensitive to everything you do

step 4: relax your throat muscles as you take them in for the first time if you can’t go all the way straight away keep practicing going deeper the longer you go

step 5: don’t be afraid of how much you drool on it trust me it’ll feel good for them as you bob as much as you can taking as much in as you can make them feel all mushy

step 6: make sure you don’t stop if you hear them moan/say they’re gonna cum this is where you speed up and get deeper if you can don’t make the mistake of slowing down

step 7: hold their legs open if you’re going fast they might try to close them through just twitches don’t let them try to escape the sloppy

step 8: deepthroat it all and let them unload all of it don’t stop going fast until you feel it soften and have swallowed all the milk!!

step 9: aftercare is very important if he don’t kiss you after that sloppy he ain’t a keeper

Why Giving good head is actually an evolutionary disadvantage

According to natural selection and darwinism an individual of a species is more likely to live longer due to having more helpful traits based on genetic mutations, this helps spread these mutations to their offspring. Now let us bring in what is now commonly known as "head" or a "blowjob" into the equation, since the reproduction of offspring requires semen to enter the females fallopian tubes, giving head may prevent this from happening. But say what would it matter if somebody gave head and still followed through with natural reproduction (semen meeting the fallopian tubes), well more likely than not it is statistically inevitable that those giving better head would cause higher rates of "purposeful" or "accidental" ejaculation during their proccesses. Those who do not give head or are worse at it are statistically more likely to recieve higher rates of semen meeting their fallopian tube, therefor creating more offspring in the population.

Conclusion: Eventually "blowjobs" may fizzle out with evolution or simply we may evolve out of it, you never know if you are the last generation in the evolutionary tree of our species to get good head...

The Xenomorph probably gives some legendary head.

I mean, that thing has a mouth within a mouth. Head recipients will get the experience squared². I guarantee you that it's very skilled with its tongues, too. Not to mention how wet and fleshy its mouth probably is. I guarantee you the foreplay is wild and would be the ride of your life. It's a being of pure hatred and hunger so it can probably last for hours straight, subsisting on your juices. In addition to this, the Xenomorph has a tail, which comes with limitless possibilities like choking or anal insertion. The noises it makes are probably very exciting in the moment, too, not to mention the adrenaline rush that the fear of encountering it would provide.