I (M49) beat my wife (F01) the other day when she said Big Chungus wasn't that funny. I was watching big Chungus porn on reddit (wholesome 100) when my wife came in, begging to be released from my basement. I laughed in her face and told her no. Then I kept fapping to Chungus porn. She asked what I was watching, and I was in shock. How could this bitch not know what Big Chungus is? I got out the drawing board and explained all about Chungus lore. I showed her some Big Chungus memes and I started laughing hysterically at them. She looked weirded out and said Big Chungus wasn't that funny. Shock came over me. What was this bitch saying? I quickly lunged at her, impaling my fist into her face, breaking her nose and eye sockets. She screamed and howled in pain and cried. I kept beating her and yelling that Big Chungus was funny and if she didn't laugh at it I'd torture her in my dungeon. She screamed and cried until I knocked her out. I tied her to a chair in a soundproof room and locked the door. Now I sit here wondering, am I the asshole for doing that?
I (M49) beat my wife (F14) the other day when she said Big Chungus wasn't that funny. I was watching big Chungus porn on reddit (wholesome 100) when my wife came in, begging to be released from my basement. I laughed in her face and told her no. Then I kept fapping to Chungus porn. She asked what I was watching, and I was in shock. How could this bitch not know what Big Chungus is? I got out the drawing board and explained all about Chungus lore. I showed her some Big Chungus memes and I started laughing hysterically at them. She looked weirded out and said Big Chungus wasn't that funny. Shock came over me. What was this bitch saying? I quickly lunged at her, impaling my fist into her face, breaking her nose and eye sockets. She screamed and howled in pain and cried. I kept beating her and yelling that Big Chungus was funny and if she didn't laugh at it I'd torture her in my dungeon. She screamed and cried until I knocked her out. I tied her to a chair in a soundproof room and locked the door. Now I sit here wondering, am I the asshole for doing that?
I am a top level Chungoloist, and I have concluded with absolute certainty that Big Chungus himself shall enter into existence at 2:31 PM this April 9th. I have found this out using MATH.
Let’s dissect this piece by piece.
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2021
Big Chungus has 2 words, consisting of 10 letters, we know that 2 x 10 = 20, so this is how we get 20 in ‘20’21
The word “Chungus” was first found online around December 2012, 12 reversed is how we get the 21 in 20’21
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2:31 PM
Big Chungus is two words, this is how we get the hour
It has been roughly 3 years since Big Chungus became a meme, this is how we get the half-hour
Big Chungus is one rabbit, this is how we get the exact minute.
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April 9th
How do we know that it will happen on April 9th exactly? I will tell you using simple counting. Bugs Bunny is the official name of the non-large version of Big Chungus.
B U G S B U N N Y 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Bugs, the first name of non-large Chungus, is 4 letters, Bugs Bunny, the full name of non-large Chungus is 9 letters in total, this is how we get 4/9. 4/9 is the date form of April 9th
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Conclusion
This is the undeniable evidence that Big Chungus will become real on April 9th, 2021 at exactly 2:31 PM
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
