Navy Seal copypasta but Jimbo from Balatro
Its the Navy Seal copypasta but changed to Jimbo the talking Joker that introduces Balatro and narrates the tutorial.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you wee jonkler? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Balatro University, and I've been involved in numerous secret runs on the gold stakes, and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in discard strategy and I'm the top straight player in the entire English localisation. You are nothing to me but just another joker. I will hanged man you the fuck out of my deck with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth card, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at the game over screen? Think again, jerker. As we speak I am assembling my secret circus of +mult across the shop and your chips are being scored right now so you better prepare for the flames, fool. The flames that wipes out the pathetic wee thing you call your blind. You're fucking scored, jim. I can get any hand, anytime, and I can score you with over e700 chips, and that's just with my high card. Not only am I extensively trained in high card builds, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Red Seal Steel Kings and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable small blind off the face of the poker table, you wee jurkner. If only you could have known what unholy immolation your wee """"clever"""" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have shut your fucking The Mouth. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're getting debuffed, you goddamn buffoon. I will shit my spare trouser all over and they will drown in it. You're fucking scored, jimbo. They should add a seal called the navy seal. I think that it would be a great addition since seals are already very rare and fun to play around that adding more world be really cool. It would totally mix up gameplay in a way that would be super balanced and I think many people would love it. Also the navy “seal” should be colored navy of course since I mean that’s the color of the navy. As for the abilities (pretty funny that I rambled this long without talking about those) it should call the navy seals to your house and have them break down your door and kill your pets. I feel like this would add that fourth wall immersion to the game that it was really missing before. If you like that then maybe we should also add something like the swat seal that swats your house and you get killed. I think that would be really cool. 
