The other day I attempted to take down Ben Shapiro by digging up offensive Tweets. Hours upon hours I scrolled, looking through libtard destruction through the years in hopes of finding something to destroy the smug bastard. Finally, I found something. Half chubbed, I chortled, "finally! A weapon to defeat Daddy Shapiro! I'll go call the DNC!"
Suddenly I hear a rumbling sound in the distance. As it starts growing louder I knew I was in for a fight. Suddenly, my door flies open so fast it disappears, presumably with all the other libtards who have been destroyed. He's here. Stepping through the door, Chad energy radiating from him, is Ben Shapiro. "So, you dare challenge me libtard?" Ben asked with a smirk. I stayed silent, simply allowing my chub to grow to 75%. "Well you're in for a fight." He said as he conjured up a 5 foot long gavel out of thin air.
I wasted no time, rushing straight for him, but Shapiro was prepared and blocked me. "You're a quick one aren't you?" He chuckled, before bashing me with his gavel. As 82 genders were knocked out of me, I fell to the floor and saw him standing above, laughing. "And here I thought you'd put up a good fight. Shameful."
I wasn't out yet; I still had tricks up my sleeve. I ran to my computer and searched for Tumblr. My ace in the hole. As I began reading off blogs shaming straight white men, I could see him weakening. Lucky for me my cuck powers allowed me to be unaffected. Knowing he was weak, I searched for DeviantArt. He knew my plan. As I searched up gay furry porn he closed his eyes and approached me before shouting facts and logic into my ears.
I fell out of my chair and recoiled. Something had taken over me. The facts and logic were too much. He had defeated me. Looking over me with his gavel, he destroyed the computer and said, "heh, another libtard destroyed." He then swung his gavel down, popping my testicles like a balloon filled with spaghetti and meatballs before shooting out through the ceiling. As I reached peak cuck-atude, I vowed my revenge towards Ben. Although he was gone, I still heard his voice in my head, saying "okay this is epic."
So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
