Anish Giri

Started by u/wildcard174, its a wholesome story on Anish Giri a professional chess player which became a copypasta and later to other shitpost versions.

Original story

100% true story. I met Anish in St. Louis. I was walking and carrying my 1-year-old daughter in the Central West End, just down the street from the St. Louis Chess Club/Hall of Fame, and he walked by. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to bother him.

A moment later I noticed one of my daughter's pink shoes had come off. I turned around and Anish Giri was twenty feet away, bent over, picking up the shoe. He handed it to me and said, "Here you go!" And I said, "Thanks!" And that was it, lol. Nice guy.

Shitpost version

100% true story. I met Anish in St. Louis. I was walking and carrying my 1-year-old daughter in the Central West End, just down the street from the St. Louis Chess Club/Hall of Fame, and he walked by. I said how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to bother him or anything. He said, "Oh, like you're doing right now?" I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I could feel my face going red from being embarrassed by the Snarkmaster himself, and looked down at the ground in shame.

That's when I noticed one of my daughter's pink shoes had come off and was lying on the ground. I'm not sure if it fell off on its own, or if Anish ripped it off while I was distracted. I reached down to pick it up and put it back on. Suddenly, Anish's hand rapidly shot forward from outside my field of vision to grab it before me, with the well-practiced swiftness I assume could only come from taking the handshake as quickly as possible whenever an opponent offers a draw. "Finders keepers," he taunted, wearing his trademark smug boyish grin. "What do you even want that for??" I demanded. "Alireza isn't the only one who knows about fashion, honey," Giri said as he tore off one of his Crocs shoes. He made a show of attempting to put the tiny pink baby shoe on his foot, but it obviously didn't fit. Shrugging, he ran off with one bare foot, one shoed foot, and two mismatched shoes in hand, leaving me dumbstruck in the sunny St. Louis street.

100% true story. I went to Papa John's with Anish "1/2-1/2" Giri. He refused to wait for the waiter to take our order and asked to speak with the manager, where, upon their arrival, he promptly ordered three large pizzas and said, "If you don't bake these yourself I will personally roast your fine establishment with several snide tweets." In just 10 minutes, his pizzas arrived. He turned to me and said, "this is why I'm the Twitter GOAT," before rolling each one into a long tube. He then held each pizza-tube up like a funnel, and squeezed the cheese and sauce into his mouth.

Once he sucked out all the drippings, he unrolled the desiccated pizza bread-tube onto my plate and confidently announced, patting his tummy, "This one's on me, kid." He strutted past the counter, refusing to pay for the pizza because "Hans Niemann said GMs shouldn't have to pay."