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aita copypasta


AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

    Isabelle says 'wtf'
    Isabelle says ‘wtf’
    I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not.

When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids?

Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around.

She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money.

What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me.

The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife?

Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.

    AITA For Killing My Political Rival To Win The Election?

      Using an alt account because of people trace this back to me my reelection chances might get hurt.

I (74M) am finishing up my first term as President of the United States of America. Let me tell you, America is an incredible country, probably one of the best countries in the whole nation. As my reelection comes closer and closer, my opponent Sleepy Joe has been leading in approval ratings, and I began to get worried. Let me tell you, I am the best at being worried. Just ask anybody in my administration, I get worried like no other president. Anyways, I was considering putting Sleepy Joe to sleep for good, which I think is a service not only to his family, but also the nation as a whole. I was going to ask my good pal Putin to borrow some of that poison he’s using to silence the libtards in his country. So Reddit, am I the asshole?

EDIT: I’m not Donald Trump.

EDIT 2: Stop saying I’m Donald Trump.

EDIT 3: Bitches I got the nuclear launch codes keep testing me and you can say bye bye to the Caribbean’s.

EDIT 4: Adios Bahamas.

REAL EDIT (Ignore if not the FBI): For legal reasons, this is all revolving a Minecraft server with my friends, not the current political events surrounding the United States. No public officials are being threatened here, just my friends virtual avatar. Don’t worry FBI, we’re all good.

      AITA for telling my black friend that his existence is an example of forced diversity?

        To put it simply, I'm a gamer, a die hard one in fact. I'm someone who absolutely despises politics in my video games. I remember coming home from school ready to play apolitical gems such as Bioshock and MGS with a nice plate of chicken nuggies (my mom made) at my side.

But those days are over, now its normal for a black person to not be a walking stereotype, and for women to no longer just be sex objects. Whenever I see 2 women kissing in my games (not in porn) I almost cry and think of how the neo-Marxist-SJW-gay agenda has ruined video games and traditional gaming values.

And after learning about this, I realize that my only black friend I have is political! It's sad to say that as we've been friends since the good ol MW2 lobbies. He didn't approve of me saying the n-word constantly but we still got along!

So I decided to tell him that I didn't approve of him inserting his political agenda into my life and I cut all ties with him. Although he didn't really seem to care when I told him, he just called me a racist basement dweller without a job. (Him calling me a racist is the only part that isn't true) Our relationship kinda fell out of place when I accidentally called him a racial slur. (Heated gamer moment)

Anyways I just wrote this to see if you guys think I did the right thing.

        AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

          Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions.

The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist.

Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in.

Am I the asshole?

          AITA for throwing my sister in front of a train?

            Little bit of back story: My sister just bought me a apple watch, it wasn't the newest so I was super pissed. Like what the hell? Who buys an apple product and not the newest? But anyway I was annoyed all day. It was my birthday and my dad bought me a new Ipad which was nice altough only the 128 GB version and I asked for the 256 GB.

So to the point. I was at the train station with my sister and my dad. And I put the Apple watch my sister gave me on craigslist for free to pick up. (Who's gonna use that trash LMAO) So my sister saw me do that. She got angry at me like what the hell? So as the train came up to the platform I pushed her in front of it.

I am now faced with charge of murder, like wtf she got what she deserved. I am now posting this from her funeral laughing my ass off.

Was I the asshole? I don't think I did wrong neither do my friends and 4 million instagram followers. This is just a waste of time smh...

            AITA for asking my parents to read a piece I wrote, not warning them that it involves very sexual graphic depictions of cunnilingus?

              There’s two things you need to know about me: I’m a 24 year old man and I love eating pussy. Seriously it’s my favorite thing and unlike most males, I don’t have much interest in blowjobs or even sex. I’m also a writer and I realized I should stop trying to write the next great American novel and just write what I know....

So I wrote a nonfiction (but...flowery, I’d say) piece about eating pussy. It’s not porn, it’s like modern day Anais Nin type intellectual sexual content. It’s also very feminist because there are men out there (nay, boys) who still have childish hang ups about French kissing a woman’s delicate rose. Apologies for all my various euphemisms. Like I said I’m a writer.

My parents aren’t even conservative but they got really uncomfortable after I had them read my piece. My mom said it was a bit too much for her. I asked her which part, and she said all of it but specifically pointed to a line (copy paste): “I slither my tongue through her sumptuous flaps, lapping up her golden honey with fervor as I feel her stiffening turtles head poking into my nostril.” She and my dad have always been supportive of my writing but they said this was “private” and they’d rather not read any more stuff about my sex life.

I have to admit I’M a little offended because this is my art and I also believe this is the piece that might actually be something. My dad draws in his free time and this includes nude portraits of people we don’t even know....so how is that ok but my writing isn’t?

Alas. The perils of being in a family of creatives lol. Anyway who’s in the wrong?