I went to a bar last week and saw this total morbette. I immediately morbed a little in my pants and decided to put my morb where my mouth is. I went up and sat my Morbussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Tequila to remember, whiskey to forget. She was instantly morbing out her panties at the mere thought of morbing out with me. Then some anti-morber jerkop came up and said "Are you fucking quoting Morbius (2022) to pick up girls?" I panicked. I said "Would you like some whiskey, my friend?" and he started assaulting me. I morbed the hell out and morbed all over that guy and am now in federal prison for "Murder". Don't those detectives know it was a morbius reference? All in all, AITA?
Using my alt account because of personal reasons. So anyway, I[69M(literally)] am a high government official of a country with a strong military. Anyway, I am clinically diagnosed with Invasiontia[for anyone who doesn't know it's meaning, it basically means my mind forces me to invade countries, very few people are diagnosed with it(like Adolf Hitler), so i guess it makes me quirky uwu], so i really can't be the one to blame.
I do what i like, usually, but people often judge me for living my life on my own terms. My distant relative, who has a history of playing fortnite and being antivax, being a furry, pedophile, and being a baby yoda hater called me today and abused me verbally, and told me what i was doing was wrong. I was heartbroken by their words. Not only that, Emily[She/They 13 diagnosed with 255 mental illnesses] made a really mean tweet against me today. She compared me to Hitler (I know Hitler and I have the same mental illness, but it doesn't mean I am as much of an asshole like he is, right?).
All this negativity is severely affecting my mental health(i come from a country where mental health isn't given a lot of importance and also my country isn't very supportive of gay people), and i am now contemplating suicide by shooting myself in the head.
Everyone thinks i am an asshole, what do you think reddit? AITA?
I know this sounds bad, but hear me out.
Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him.
Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldn’t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I can’t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
Last weekend I (16M) visited a friend of mine (17F) for a sleepover. I asked if I could shower because I wasn't feeling so fresh. She let me and I stepped in. I was flatulent so I farted, but gas wasn't all that came out. I must admit that I do this on purpose when I'm home but I've never done it at a friend's house. I was really embarrassed so I just stomped most of it down the drain. Some splattered over the wall though and the shower was not handheld, so I decided to leave it and hope for the best. I cleaned myself and put on some clothes and pretended like nothing happened. The next day her mother decided to take a shower and saw the mess. She was LIVID, screaming at my friend for the mess she'd made. She started crying and left the room. She returned a few minutes later and she had a look of death. I panicked, and we argued. I decided to deny all allegations and blame her dog for the mess. She said that her dog would never projectile shit all over the shower walls, yet I kept denying it. She eventually calmed down and I left. I personally think I did nothing wrong since it wasn't even a big mess, and a dog could easily have done that. My friend won't respond to any of my texts, she's probably expecting me to apologize or something
I (30m) on my 30 birthday I got an new expensive camera from my dying grandparents. So I decided take pictures of their horses since they weren’t going to see them soon. While taking pictures of their gracious bodies I seemed to slip on this sticky stuff on the floor. On the ground I was able to take pictures of their giant cock, I got carried away and started taking multiple pictures maybe 30 not a lot well not enough. I then showed them to my dying grandparents and they were furious (I don’t know why).
Word got out and they said they were cutting me out of the will. So now my wife and family members know. My wife of 6 years is saying she going to divorce me and my family members have cut all contact. I don’t think i did anything wrong, just showing my grandparents the most interesting part of the horses. Anyway now everyone hates me so Reddit AITA for showing my dying grandparents 4k horse cock?
Edit: So i’ve read some comments saying I’m not TA (downvoted for some reason) and haves taken their advice and take pictures of their ass instead.
6446
I (9198202939329M) lied about my age to my girlfriend😨. (15F) I (9198202939329M) told her that I am 9198202939329 years old. besides I (9198202939329M) had to go to prison for having sex with her! (9302 YEARS!! ) because my girlfriend (15F) is a minor while I'm not. My mom (14F)helped me to espace prison though🤭when I (9198202939329M) already had served 831 years!! We used several machine guns and a nuke to escape! Such an original escape plan🥺! She helped me because she thinks age is just a number and love is love! 🥰 so sweet. :)) Couldn't wish a better mom🤗! Oh, and my girlfriend (15F) broke with me for me lying about my age! 💔Now I am dating my mom(14F) because she thinks age is just a number and love is love! 💖
