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According to Oxford Dictionary


Masturbation is a sport

    "involves individuals and groups that can compete against each other"
    Masturbation is a sport.
    
    According to Oxford Dictionary, a sport is defined as “an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."
    
    Masturbation:
    
       • involves physical exertion
    
       • involves skill
    
       • is entertaining
    
       • involves individuals and groups that can compete against each other
    
    Therefore, using this criteria, beating your meat is objectively a sport.