Stop saying that you’re Furina’s number one fan. You’re not YOU’RE NOT!

Stop saying that you’re Furina's number one fan. You’re not YOU’RE NOT!

I fucking hate it when I open the comment section of a Furina post and I see people saying they are “Furina's number one simp” or anything between those lines. Because you’re not because I already AM. I’ve already claimed that title. I bet most of you aren’t real Furina fans. Real Furina fans (Me) loved her before she got popular. Before her in-game debut. When we only had the icon leak. When she had 9 pixels in total and everyone (who even acknowledged the leak) fucking hated her. THAT’S WHAT QUALIFIES TO EVEN MAKE YOU A FURINA ENJOYER! All of you are fucking fakes. None of you can fucking fathom how much I adore Lady Furina, the God of Justice and Hydro Archon. I have 2 Furina body pillows (That I hide from my family, unfortunately they are normies.) 4 Furina figures (2 of which are duplicates), 5 Furina plushies, mini and large cardboard cut outs and a shit ton of Furina fanarts that I’ve hung in my room.

I am the ONLY true Furina fan. I think of Furina every hour of the day. When I piss, I think about holding hands with Furina while we both piss at a urinal (Or twin toilets if she prefers that, of course). When I eat? I fantasize about spoon feeding Furina. When I sleep? I dream about consensual handholding with Furina, When I shower? I imagine washing off the primordial seawater from Furina's body after Fontaine is swallowed, When I sit? I hallucinate Furina sitting on my lap and boasting about all the amazing things she’s done as I praise her and reassure her that I love her no matter what.

Furina is my life, and in a couple weeks I will own the best C6 R5 triple crowned Furina. None of you will compare I currently have 5 jobs in order to afford her. And it will all be worth it at the end. So before any of you even THINK about being “Furina's number one fan” think of ME.