Before you do anything, they have to check pretty much everything. You need a weight check, you need to get a lot of blood drawn, you need to get felt up by a nurse, the whole nine yards.
You have to sign a document labeling what to do with it in case you die before using it. One of the options was giving it to somebody for their own personal use. I have no fucking idea what that meant, but it scared me that anyone wouldn't just toss it once they died.
I had a doc tell me I have wildly high sperm production in density and amount. You ever have a medical practitioner tell you that you cum buckets of premium jizz? I have!
They had fucking charts on the walls with instructions and diagrams. Detailed descriptions, instructions what to do in case of a spillage, and literally seven signs telling people to wash their hands before and after.
They had an entire cupboard filled with bottles of lube. They restocked the room after every patient. There was a button you could use to call someone in case you RAN OUT OF LUBE!
The couch was the LEAST SKIN FRIENDLY MATERIAL ON THE PLANET. Idk what it was but it was terrible in every way.
There was a sink. There was not a paper towel dispenser.
It was not a soundproof room but they had a fucking world class sound system to watch porn on. IT WAS SURROND SOUND! FOR PORN!
There was 5 locks on the door.
There was a lamp. I have no fucking idea why or in what context the lamp would be used for. There were no magazines.
They had no instructions for the confusing as hell TV. 80% of the videos they had were gay porn.
When you're done, you had to take your sample out of the room to bring to the nurse. The hallway to the nurse was in full view of the waiting room. You would have to walk by at least one innocent citizen holding a cup of your jizz.
I was deeply uncomfortable for the entire process.
I could go on and on about this enigma of an experience.
