This is a parody of the ‘Real emo‘ copypasta where the original poster is gatekeeping the definition of emo.
Real pizza only consists of pre colonial ethnic Sicilian and Italian dough and cheese pastries. What is known as "party pizza" is nothing more than cultural appropriation and shameless consumerism piggybacking off of the success of the Italian-NewYorker immigrant sellouts intending to please gluttonous and tasteless Americans. When people say Chicago Deep Dish and Mexican Pizza aren't "real pizza" but say that New York Style pan pizza is, I can't help but laugh because New York Style is just as fake as the rest of them (plus the pretensiousness). Real pizza tastes subdued, thoughtful, and you can feel the love and thought put into every bite. Fake pizza is nothing but a failed tastbud-assaulting attempt at bringing diversity into the American fast food diet. PIZZA BELONGS TO THE MEDITERRANEAN REGION OF EUROPE, NOT TO NEW YORK, CHICAGO, TEXAS, SANFRANCISCO, OR ANY OTHER AMERICAN CITY.