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Horny: The Last Ass Eater

    Tits. Ass. Pussy. Feet.

Long ago, the four kinks lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Feet Kink attacked.

Only the horny, master of all four kinks, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished.

A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new horny, an Ass Eater named Ricardo, and although his ass is great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to fuck anyone.

But I believe Ricardo can save sex.

    AITA for throwing my sister in front of a train?

      Little bit of back story: My sister just bought me a apple watch, it wasn't the newest so I was super pissed. Like what the hell? Who buys an apple product and not the newest? But anyway I was annoyed all day. It was my birthday and my dad bought me a new Ipad which was nice altough only the 128 GB version and I asked for the 256 GB.

So to the point. I was at the train station with my sister and my dad. And I put the Apple watch my sister gave me on craigslist for free to pick up. (Who's gonna use that trash LMAO) So my sister saw me do that. She got angry at me like what the hell? So as the train came up to the platform I pushed her in front of it.

I am now faced with charge of murder, like wtf she got what she deserved. I am now posting this from her funeral laughing my ass off.

Was I the asshole? I don't think I did wrong neither do my friends and 4 million instagram followers. This is just a waste of time smh...

      My Dick is Hydrophobic

        As a man of culture, I regularly take part in the natural act of masturbation. For you non-scholars, I am saying that I regularly spank the shit out of my meat to anime babes and / or cat girls. In accordance with the Geneva Convention article 4A paragraph 6, I exclusively use oil based lubricants (such as Vaseline or WD-40). After years of applying this buttery concoction to my 3 inch destroyer, enough has permanently absorbed into the skin of my dick and balls to the point that water is actually repelled when applied. Yes, my dick can now act as a flotation device in case of emergency water landings. Take that libtards.

        What does Weeaboo actually mean?

          Basically, a weeaboo is a specific variety of nerd who is overly devoted to Japanese pop culture. Their life is pretty much sustained on a diet of anime, manga, and video games, which can be a bit off-putting to others, to say the least. They can be seen using Japanese words incorrectly, dressing up like anime characters, and worshipping Japan without knowing anything about it outside what they’ve seen in anime.
IN SHORT, THEY'RE ANNOYING.
I have a dream that weebs and non-weebs can someday live together in harmony. In the words of a wise cat known as Meowth, “Maybe if we started looking at what’s the same instead of always looking at what’s different…well who knows?”

          I spanked a Muslim with bacon

            Well, I was shopping in Walmart the other day, (with the intent of buying all of their guns, bacon and American flags) when I spotted a Mooslem running frantically up and down through the aisles, and his name was Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul. I was certain at any moment he would yell 'Allah Akbar'. Thankfully, my shopping cart was full of bacon (which as you all know, is Mooslem kryptonite). So I straightened my MAGA hat and pulled up my Confederate flag britches and grabbed a pack of bacon from my cart. I took that Mooslem over my knee and spanked his ass with the bacon while screaming 'Liberalism is a mental disorder!' over and over. Then, by the power of the bacon, Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul instantly converted to Christianity and registered as a Republican. Trump showed up and awarded me the Medal of Honor because I probably stopped the next 9/11.