FATHER 👨👴 I 👥 CANNOT 🚫 CLICK 👁 THE BOOK 📖 I 👁 CAN'T ❌💨 CLICK 👅 THE BOOK 📖, FATHER 👨 DAD 👨 DAD 👨🏻 THIS BOOK 📙📚 IS ANCIENT 🗿🎼 TECHNOLOGY 💡 THAT IS BEYOND 👉 MY MIND 🧠😤, AS I 👁 HAVE BEEN TAINTED 😷 BY TOUCHPAD TECHNOLOGY 💡 FATHER 👨 THE BOOK 📕📚 IS ANALOG AND THE DEVICES 📱 I 👁 AM ACCUSTOMED TO OPERATING 🤖 ARE DIGITAL 🔢 AND THUS 😂 CLICKING THE BOOK 📖 YIELDS ⚠ UNSATISFACTORY 😢 RESULTS 💹 WHEN 🍑 COMPARED 😡✊🔏 TO THE DIGITAL 🚫 DEVICES 📱 THAT HAVE BECOME 😌 COMMONPLACR AFTER 👀 THE TURN 🔄 OF THE CENTURY 👴 FATHER 👨 PLEASE 🙏🏾 INSTRUCT ⚠ ME ON 🔛 HOW TO OPERATE 🔪⚔ THE BOOK 👈🤡📖 WITH YOUR 👉 SUPERIOR 🎰 MIND 🧠 YOU 👈 WERE BORN 👶 IN THE LATE 💤 1970S 👩🎤 AND THUS 😂 YOUR 👉 REALM 👽 OF KNOWLEDGE 📃📚📔 WOULD MOST LIKELY 😠 ENCOMPASS 🎯 THE HANDLING 😲 AND OPERATION 🔪⚔ OF THIS ANCIENT 📜 TOME 😐 FATHER 📅👨🏼 I 👁 CANNOT 🚫 CLICK 💜 THE BOOK 📖
Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic. "This thing on?" Murmurs of assent. Clears throat again. "Minecraft good." The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath. "Fortnite..." A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held. "Bad." Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.
slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh… not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It’s not bad. A good first attempt. It’s plenty dank… I can tell it’s got some thought behind it… lots of quotable material… But memeing isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You’re skilled… that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - they’re out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it’s “tryhard,” or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don’t just mean the one you just lost :). It’s a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don’t get all mopey on me. You’ve got skill. You’ve got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards….
I wake up at 5 in the morning like usual. Brush my teeth, shower, breakfast. All is as it should be. I say goodbye to my family, I will be gone for an hour while I do laps around the block. It is a cold, eerie morning with a shroud of fog encrypting the surroundings. I begin jogging away from the door, I glance back to see my family staring out the window. Crying over something, I’ll find out when I get back. For exercise waits for no man woman or crustacean. As I make my way around the first corner of the block I hear an arachnid like scuttling behind me. I jerk my head to see what in the devil is behind me. I see a blur of orange and black, I feel a forceful thump on my head and promptly black out. Soon the void receeds. With confused sense I still make out my situation. I am strapped to a chair in what seems to be a vine like mass SATA cables. What in the hell? there is not light in the room but a flickering lightbulb hanging overhead. I hear a familiar screeching voice from across the room. “Today we will be liquid cooling AND overclocking a Human Being! That’s right lady’s and gentleman, a live human being! But first a word from our sponsor, Glasswire!” I promptly faint , never to awake again.
Apolgy for bad english
I was at work eating dorito wen phone ring.
“Club Penguin must die”
“ok”
I go to clubpenguin.com and press kil
Now many people sad and cry
AITA?
Edit:
INFO: am sry to kil your favorite game but order is order
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