So guys, we did it, we reached a quarter of a million subscribers, 250,000 subscribers and still growing. The fact that we've reached this number in such a short amount of time is just phenomenal, I'm- I'm just amazed. Thank you all so much for supporting this channel and helping it grow. I- I love you guys... You guys are just awesome.
Despite being one man, the developer of this game really knows what his fans want. On Friday, I had burned my hand with flaming oil and stayed eight straight hours in a neglectful "healthcare" facility that took eight hours to bandage my recently singed flesh. This left me with very limited use of my left hand, thus rendering me unable to play most games as they tend to require two hands. This hero of a developer kept his clientele in mind, and made it so this game could easily be played with one hand. I can tell just by that design choice that this is an upstanding Christian man who had developed a wholesome Christian game. Obviously this game was designed for people with limited mobility such as myself, as I cannot think of any other reason why this game should be played with one hand. These design choices lead me to believe that there is still hope left for humanity, 10/10.
"I am Heavy Weapons Guy, and this, is my weapon. She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon, for twelve seconds." Laughs Oh my God, who touched Sascha? Alright...Who touched my gun!?" Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe, maybe. But I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet." Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah! Ahahahahaha! Cry some more! Heheh, cry some more."
Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there. Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for you, I could've stolen that horse and be halfway to Hammerfell. You there. You and me - we shouldn't be here. It's these Stormcloaks the Empire wants. We're all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief. Shut up back there! And what's wrong with him, huh? Watch your tongue. You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King. Ulfric? The Jarl of Windhelm? You're the leader of the rebellion. But if they've captured you... Oh gods, where are they taking us? I don't know where we're going, but Sovngarde awaits. No, this can't be happening. This isn't happening. Hey, what village are you from, horse thief? Why do you care? A Nord's last thoughts should be of home. Rorikstead. I'm... I'm from Rorikstead.
...looks like the Thalmor are with him.
General Tullius, sir. The headsman is waiting. Good. Let's get this over with! Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh. Divines, please help me. Look at him. General Tullius the Military Governor. And it looks like the Thalmor are with him. Damn elves. I bet they had something to do with this.
Why are we stopping? Why do you think? End of the line. Let's go. Shouldn't keep the gods waiting for us.
You have been bonked, "go to horny jail" is the last thing you hear before your vision fades to black.
You are woken to find your self in a prison cell, you look around and find all the other cells are full of other victims of the bonk. You sit down in your cell, you almost forget about being horny in the first place. You reach the back of your head and look at your hand to find it covered in blood. "Damn, you were bonked pretty hard. My names Doge, I can help you get out it of this hell but you need to help me first."
You slowly nod and try to ignore the pain.
"When I was taken to Horny jail they took any sharp objects to make sure we cant escape, get me a plastic spoon from the cafeteria and bring it to me" says Doge.
A few hours later the cell doors open, and you are escorted to the cafeteria with 200 other prisoners. You grab an extra spoon and return to your cell.
Doge takes the spoon and starts hitting it against his wall, eventually breaking off a chunk of it. He sharpens the brick until it is sharp enough to seriously hurt someone.
Later that night, after the guards tell everyone to get to bed he hands you your own sharp brick. At about 2 in the morning he starts cutting the bars off his cell until he can fit through. You see Doge sneak up to a guard and knock him out, taking all his equipment with him.
He unlocks your cell and leads you to a weak area in the wall where he knocks a hole through the brick. You and doge run across the field until you reach the fence keeping you in the prison. Luckily Doge has already dug a hole underneath the fence.
Once you escape the prison with Doge you hear shouting and lights start bouncing off walls towards your direction. Until one hits you and illuminates your position, you barely avoid the gun fire from the guards until you are finally shot and collapse on the ground, your vision fading to black.
You are awoken to the sound of a carriage and the smells of a forest.
"Hey you, you're finally awake"