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Normal people: “I like to read.” Anon:

    I  am a lover of fine literature; most notably the epic poems of Ancient  Greece. I find that today's writers lack the rhetorical wit and  emotional depth of the ancient writers of yore.

To wit, an uneducated buffoon of lower intellect today may say to you - Hey, what's up? Wanna smash?

Whereas  a fine gentleman (such as myself) will quote the estimable Homer  himself - There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the  lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.

Now will you take my hand while I escort you to my subterranean abode?

    Average Redditor

      The average Redditor is insecure and unhappy

They flock to subs that are dedicated to punching down and revel in negative energy

They hate people and children and would prefer if mankind disappeared from the earth

They redirect their love to animals because they are unable to maintain normal human relationships

In short they are a Doomsday Cult

The only solace is that they are a relatively small and completely politically irrelevant slice of the population, and outside of Reddit they are shouted down as fringe maniacs

Which fuels their insecurity

And turns the Reddit wheel of hate and nihilism even faster

Which works just fine for Reddit; an amoral engine of ad-supported profits

      A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Lego city.

        A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Wuhan city.

Start the acetylene torch.

HEY!

Build the acetylene torch.

Lock him up in his apartment.

Weld the door shut.

And censor the media.

The new events that didn't happen from Wuhan city.

(sets not available in China)

        A funny story

          An  Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan,  an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an  Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a  Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese,  a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a  Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a  Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a  Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican,  a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a  Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an  Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a  Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a  Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a  Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a  Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an  Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian,  an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakh, a Kenyan, a  Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a  Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a  Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a  Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a  Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian,  a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Montenegrin, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a  Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a  Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian,  an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua  New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a  Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan,  a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian,  a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovak, a Slovenian, a  Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a  Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a  Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a  Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a  Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Vanticanien, a  Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a  Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops them and says “Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

          Emojivirus

            ACHOO‼️What was that⁉️⁉️😏😏 Uh-oh😯 looks like you just got 👀👀 coronavirus 😤😜😜

Don't  you know that the coronavirus 🤒 is CUMMING💦 to America 🇺🇲⁉️🤢🤕🤒🤤  The world 🌏 HOE Organisation 🙈👅 is calling HOE-VID19📅 a POSSIBLE  PANTIE-DEMIC👄👌👈

No more  touching daddy 😫😫🧓 until you wash🚿🚿 your dirty 🤢🤮nasty little 🤞  fingers🖐️🖖✋  for 6️⃣9️⃣ secounds with sHOEp 💧 and water💦💧👅  otherwise it doesn't count 🤡🤡🤡

Time  to stop 🛑 spredding your germs🤢🤒🤕 and start spredding 😯 your  legs👣👄👀 because everyone 👩👨‍🏫👷‍♂️🧜‍♂️is TWERKING😈😈 from  home🏠🏡

SEND THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ coronavirus cunts 👉👌 otherwise the coronavirus 🙀🙀 is cumming 🍆🍑🍆 for you too 2️⃣

            i laughed, came, and had an epileptic seizure

              i laughed, came, and had an epileptic seizure upon seeing this post. It is in fact so hilarious that after I showed it to my entire family they nearly died from asphyxiation because they couldn't stop laughing at this quirky post. I am currently at my mother's funeral, and the priest is unable to keep a straight face when he reads about the cause of her death.

I'm just happy my mom died with a smile on her face :)