🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!!
🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾😉 down your hot 🔥 hot 🔥chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie 🍪is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candy👊🏼COCK=D💦?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest bitch elves💁🏼💁🏾 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate☕️💦😭 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏾🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏼I fucked my hamster to death, am i a psychopath?
Basically i was fucking my hamster, like i usually do, but i forgot to pull out. the hamster had cum leaking from it's eyes and mouth. then it exploded. i felt no remorse. am i a psychopath?Do I have high social IQ for flirting on a casual match?
So this just occured on a casual match. I was playing as pyro and all of a sudden I heard the girls voice. The rest of apes were pushing to talk with her. But I waited my turn. Then, I held onto talking with her on voice chat for more than 5 minutes, with multiple interuptins. People called me simp, retard, small dicked, incest lover, feet lover, etc. But her and I kept talking and it felt amazing. Does this indicate I have some sort of high social IQ if I filter out bullshit while talking to girls? I need to know for the future.I Finally Came After Edging for 16 Years! AMA
It all started on May 15th 2004. As you can probably guess, I (420 months old) was watching Ukranian singer Ruslana bust out a filthy performance of "Wild Dances" for the Eurovision Song Contest Finale. I could feel a chub cumming on, but by the 69th smack of her tambourine it had turned into a beast of an erection. At first I tried to fight it back down. Yet, after 3 hours of meditation, listening to NPR, and replaying that one scene from The Passion of the Christ where Jesus gets nailed to the cross over and over, I realized this was no ordinary boner...
This was an everlasting knob-whopper.
I decided to keep it going as long as possible. Maybe get into the Guinness Book of World Records and finally prove to my deadbeat father that I was more than just "what you'd get if an autistic moose broke into a Taco Bell storeroom and subsequently cloned itself with shit."
Here is a list of the times it was hardest to stay erect (in order):
1. When Bush got re-elected
2. My grandma's funeral
3. Had a nightmare where I was the middle dude in the human centipede (this was before I learned to lucid dream)
4. Homeless guy kicked me in the nuts after I got kidnapped by gang members, tortured, and tossed out of a moving truck in the rain.
5. Colonoscopy
On the other hand, I came way too close to nutting when:
1. A stranger unexpectedly smacked my ass in Target when I bent down to look for stray quarters
2. Prostate exam in '09 (didn't know there were girl doctors - was caught off guard)
3. Watching the Dark Knight
4. When the cashier looked at me for more than 2 seconds in the checkout line at Spencers holding the mega thicc 19" monster dildo I bought.
5. When I came 69th in a Fortnite match (highest score ever)
Last night I finally decided to end it after watching my fave Only Fans performer lick jam off her feet for half an hour. The release was monstrous. My penis contracted so hard my shaft vacuum sealed and caused such pressure to build up that the next jizz rocket slammed a hole through my ceiling. I blacked out after that, and woke up in a pool of my own brogurt dazed and confused, but somehow, at peace.
Then I got thrown out of the Starbucks.
AMA!my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian
Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
Edit: Why do I find it hard to make friends?