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Male Privilege

    Sometimes, when I want to poo, my cock become erect. This causes me to piss everywhere since my cock isn’t in the toilet bowl. When I try to put cock back into the toilet it touches the shit walls and shit water.

    What the frick did you just fricking say about my religion

      What the frick did you just fricking say about my religion, you small child of the devil? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Bible Study, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Non-Belivers, and I have over 300 confirmed conversions of Non-believers. I am trained in baptism and I'm the top pastor in the entire Christian Community. You are nothing to me but just another sinner. I will convert you the frick out with blessings the likes of which has never been seen before the eyes of our lord and savior, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that sinful material to me over the Internet? Think again, sinner. As we speak I am contacting my friends and fellow christians and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the flood, sinner. The flood that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call science. You're fricking done for, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I convert you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands and the bible of Jesus amen. Not only am I extensively trained in exorcism, but I have access to the entire arsenal of holy water and bibles from the pope himself and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins off the face of God's green earth, you devil child. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your sinful tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you atheist idiot. I will spill holy water all over you and you will drown in it. You're fricking blessed, kiddo.
      [wpedon id=813]

      How much whale cum is in the ocean?

        There is an estimated 1.35 billion cubic kilometers of water in the oceans. The average whale ejaculates 1500 liters of cum each load. The average whale breeds once every two years and lives between 40-100 years. Currently there are around 1.3 million whales. A whale on average breeds 13- 43 times in their life. Only 10% of the whales cum makes it into the partner so each time around 1350 liters gets into the ocean. With 1.3 million whales breeding on average 28 times and 1350 liters getting into the ocean that’s 50 billion liters of cum! 0,0038% of the ocean is whale cum, per cubic mete(1000 liters) there is 3 liters of cum. Enjoy your next trip to the beach :)

        My little brother fucking died

          3 .50 Cal AE at the back of his skull. Little shit fucking deserved it. I didn't feel shit when I pulled the trigger, but as soon as his dead body dropped on the floor, I was fucking ecstatic. Ever since he was three, he's been getting away with shit that I would have been kicked out of the house for, like drawing shitty doodles on my room's door or cut of the electricity for the entire house except his room. I always knew he was going to turn out a sociopathic, spoiled, little brat. Hell, he already was by the age of three. I would write this on my journal, but I want all of you to know that I did nothing wrong whenever you see the report of my brother's murder on Fox, CNN or whatever.

Years of being ignored by my parents in favor of that little shit has broken me mentally. Truth be told, I was terrified of him. Not only that, I was terrified of my own sanity. Everyone else seemed to think he was such an angel who 'pulled little pranks on people'. He would always defend his actions by refering to his age. "Im onwy twee", "Im onwy fow" "Im onwy fwife". Shit went on and on for years. I couldn't take it anymore.

Right now I'm fleeing the town of Plainview. I'm hiding in the forest, but I'll have to move soon before local law enforcement tracks me down. Maybe I'll take one of them down and boost his car. After that, I don't know where I'll go. I could go South to Texas, New Mexico or Tenessee. Canada and Mexico are off limits, borders are too risky, besides, I left my passport. Definately not staying anywhere near New England though. Only sad thing about this is I won't ever get to see my friend Rowley ever again. Eh, I didn't really like him anyway.

If you are reading this from hell, fuck you Manny.

-Greg Heffley

          The Last of Us Part 2 copypasta

            I just punched a hole in my wall. I'm in tears. I'm not joking i'm actually freaking out right now. I feel like this is the angriest i've been in my life. I'm praying right now that this last year is a dream i'll wake up from. Is there a way we can sue Naughty Dog for false advertising and maybe even vandalism of a work of art?

            Isabelle from animal crossing is so fucking hot

              If I was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Ladin, and Isabelle from animal crossing, and I had a gun with two bullets. I would shoot Hitler and Bin Ladin just to get some alone time with Isabelle. Holy shit I want to put my rock hard cock in Isabelles tight dog pussy and eject a gallon of sperm into her soft fur. Isabelle is so fucking sexy I jerk off to rule 34 art of Isabelle every night. I run through more Isabelle hentai than can be created. My entire fortune is going toward funding the genetic engineering of a real life Isabelle just so I can fuck her tight dog pussy