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I have been diagnosed with whip nae nae

    Yesterday I was watching porn with my dog when I started doing the whip nae nae uncontrollably, after the seizure feeling was gone I quickly left to the doctors without even pausing the porn, he diagnosed me with whip nae nae, I ended up whip nae naeing home to find out the bastard dog was jerking his small dog penis without me, I beat him and did the whip nae nae on his corpse, I am now in prison for the disappearance of a child in 2017

    Testing. Testing.

      Testing. Testing. 123, is this working? Okay it is, anyways. I just wanted to say, shut the fuck up. Your voice sounds like a rat being yeeted onto the ground, being smashed with a sledge hammer then having its screeches amplified with a fucking megaphone. Like seriously your throat seems to have so much shit in it that your toilet is jealous. Please put tape over your mouth and wait patiently for the methyl acrylate to fuck up your masseter muscle so I have a slight chance of never hearing you speak over mic again.
      [wpedon id=813]

      Are you approaching me?

        ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡛⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠨⡀⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢁⠼⠊⣱⡃⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⡧⠁⡴⣦⣔⣶⣄⢠⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠭⠏⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡧⠠⠠⢠⣾⣾⣟⠝⠉⠉⠻⡒⡂⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡪⠘⠄⠉⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠁⢐⣷⠉⠿⠐⠑⠠⠠⠄⣈⣿⣄⣱⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠷⠈⠉⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣴⠤⣬⣭⣴⠂⠇⡔⠚⠍⠄⠄⠁⠘⢿⣷⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠂⣠⠄⠸⡜⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⡙⣿⣷⣭⣷⠃⣠⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣁⣿⡄⠼⡿⣦⣬⣰⣿ ⣿⣷⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠲⠄⢠⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⡨⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠐⠄⠈⣙⣩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠕⠁⠈⢠⢃⢸⣿⣿⣶⡘⠑⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⡉⢿⣧⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣨⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠆⠄⠠⡀⡀⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡅⠄⠄⢀⡰⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

        Pokimane Feet

          Please
          
          I just need a single picture PLEASE I'M GETTING DESPERATE I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE PLEASE. I just want a single picture of her foot flexing and curling her toes. It's the only thing that can get me hard anymore. I can't even finish when having sex with my girlfriend unless I think of this picture that I need. Pokimane if you're reading this and you decide to help me in my time of need, please paint your toe nails a light sky blue. Thank you in advance.
          
          Sincerely,
          
          Orpis
          [wpedon id=813]

          The time I watched in awe as a kid jerked off in my zoom science class

            This was the second to last week of the school year, and my science class was doing an activity in groups. My group finished quick and the teacher brought us back to the main room. It’s about 5 kids and the teacher. Some kid is having a convo with the teacher and i’m on instagram.
            
            Then i see this kid do a weird move in the corner of my eye. My undivided attention is now on this kid. It looks like he was pulling his pants down. Next thing i know, he’s full on jerking it. No shame, no attempt to hide it.
            
            It’s obvious: he’s looking down and giving those telling facial expressions as his left hand (and he’s a lefty so it’s even more solidifying) is going ham down there. The webcam cut off at where his bellybutton would be, so i was luckily was spared from seeing e v e r y t h i n g.
            
            Anyways, he goes at it, doesn’t even care if anyone sees him, he finishes with that head roll with closed eyes move. Then I could see the teacher, who appeared to be the only other one noticing. She had a look like “I don’t fucking believe this, but it’s weird to call him out.” So we both have this subtle wtf look, and this kid pulls up his pants and goes back to his monitor.
            
            The best part of this whole situation is the fact that he had zero shame. Nada. He didn’t give a shit that he was jerking off in front of 5 people. When he goes back, I actually have my mouth open in shock at this point, but the teacher and i are still the only ones that even seem to notice.
            
            The fact that no one gave a shit and this kid was one camera angle away from being a full on cam guy baffles me to this day.
            
            If you’re the kid that jerked off in 7th period science and reading this, I fully expect extreme awkwardness if we have any classes next year.

            AITA For angrily telling my boyfriend to stop saying memes out loud in front of my tech illiterate parents?

              AITA For angrily telling my boyfriend to stop saying memes out loud in front of my tech illiterate parents?
              
              My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. He is a cutiepie. I love how sweet, kind and sensitive he is. That being said, he always gets incredibly nervous around my parents even though they are extremely easy going. We are both about 18, and with the lockdown restrictions easing up due to less cases, my parents invited us over for dinner.
              
              Usually, he says memes out loud once in a while. I thought he was just using them ironically, but he was actually serious about them. I don't know if he got nervous or if he wanted to make a good impression, but he repeatedly said memes out loud and explained them to my parents as a way to keep the conversation alive. This happened well over 3 times during dinner and I was mortified.
              
              My dad was talking about his friend who was in the hospital battling the virus, and my boyfriend explained him the whole 'press F to pay respect' thing. My parents didn't interject so he said 'pikachu shock face' , 'destroyed 1000' in conversation.I kept trying to divert his attention towards me and wanted him to stop. I had finally had enough when he said 'stonks' and explained what it was when my dad talked about his business picking up again.
              
              I literally held his hand, took him to my room and told himhe was being stupid as hell. I understand that he was nervous, but this behavior was honestly just bizarre