Sorry for my bad english. Also I’m typing on mobile, if im make any spelling mistakes im sorry.
So i was browsing reddit. i did my daily deed by creating my 420th account to downvote EA’s comment about microtransactions (EPIC). and then i saw a hilarious meme about dying in a car crash on r/dankmemes. i decided to try it out. So me, being the typical redditor decided to take my wife and children with me (SPOILER, THIS WAS A MISTAKE). Not with standing, we were in the car and saw a big truck. Now i’m a fan of big trucks, let me tell you, but the driver was clearly an insta normie. We crashed into the truck going 250 mph. My wife was vaporised immediately. The car flipped 69 times (nice). Cum, everywhere. My cock and balls, tortured. My reddit gold, gone. r/wooosh. now you might have noticed the truck driver has uploaded this accident on r/watchpeopledie after committing 4 counts of vehicular manslaughter. This guy is a repeat offender when it comes to reposting. I could name several instances in which he reposted in r/blursedimages and r/aww. Typically he reigns in 20% karma gains as compared to the original posts. This is outrageous. But what is more outrageous is this man, this normie decides to repost on to instagram! Unforgivable! Onto his instagram account, i have noticed several posts causing me to believe he is a boomer! Not just this, but a simp! He supports the orange man and kills children! To relieve my stress after this scarring incident, I decided to donate my life savings to pokemane. Now this bitch, didn't even say my name! I cant believe this! And then, to top it all off, after uploading my cat to r/chonkers HE DIES! It was right after his 12th meal of the day, so at least he died happily. Could it be the cat food? Has anyone else experienced this? After my cat dying i asked my crush out and she said no! My wifes boyfriend called me a cuck and insulted my neckbeard. I was sad. I covered my tears with my fedora. “M’lady”, i whispered, “please forgive me, i have failed you”. After this i went onto r/pewdiepiesubmissions to defend a woman being bullied by evil men. They called me a simp, but i knew that i was actually a protector of the female gender from the patriarchy!
TLDR: Keanu chungus updoot raid reddit gold platinum UWU wholesome what are your greatest cumshots OWO r/whoosh r/pewdiepiesubmissions r/incel r/funny r/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA r/askreddit r/incel r/funny r/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA r/askreddit
Edit 1: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
Edit 2: WOW! My first platinum? Incredible!
Edit 3: 69 thousand updoots? We did it reddit!
Edit 4: Keanu would be proud! Thank you!
Edit 5: WOW! 100 thousand upvotes! I came!!!!
Edit 6: Incredible! The amount of upvotes I have is almost as many murders as I have committed in Syria!
Update 1: I am in jail due to my war crimes in Syria. AMA
Lord Maximus 22 | 5'10" | Pisces | Has cats [76% match]
Lord Maximus at your service m’lady, level 82 DM, feminist, gentleman, sandwich lover, burrito lover, woman lover.
*ahem* Listen Carefully, M'lady, it seems you have stolen something from me,and i am very upset, i will have no choice but to contact the town sheriff to place in the stocks,for thieving, if you do not return my heart to me posthaste, this kind of behaviour will not be tollerated, however, i am willing to overlook this transgression, if tou agree to a date with me, otherwise chareges will be pressed for the stealing of my heart, i await your letter of acceptance *kisses hand and blows* yours truly,lord Maximus
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest.
"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101', on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you." Reporter 1: "But what actually is 2+2?" Trump: "Siddown. No, siddown. I've already answered your question. Haven't I already answered your question. This is what we get from news reporters, folks. Give me a nice question. Yes - you." Reporter 2: "Is your name Donald Trump?" Trump: "Now that's a nice question, folks. That's what I want."
Watashi wa 👅 a 👌 victim of 💦 cyberbullying. Everyday 🗓 someone 👤 online 💻 calls 🗣 me 😭 a 👌 "weeb" desu. 👌 Watashi won't 🚫 stand 💨 for 🍆 this. 👈 26 percent 🔟 of 💦 bullying 😂 victims are 🔢 chosen due to 💦 their 🍆 race 🖕 or 💁 religion 🕋 desu. 👌 I 👁 may 🗓 look 👀 like 💖 a 👌 basic 🚂 white 👱 boy, 👦 but 🍑 deep 😱 down 🔻 I 👁 am 👏 Nihongo desu. 👌 Watashi religion 🕋 is 💦 anime. 😹 Anata wa 👅 bullying 😂 me 😭 because 💁 of 💦 my 👨 race 🖕 and 👏 religion 🕋 desu 👌 ka? Disgusting 😝 desu. 👌 Anata should 💘 be 🐝 ashamed 😳 of 💦 yourself, 🙄 pig. A 👌 baka gaijin like 💖 anata is 💦 probably 😻 jealous 😒 of 💦 my 👨 race 🖕 and 👏 culture, cause 💋 Nippon is 💦 more 🍗 sugoi than 👉 your 👏 shitty 💩 country 🏃 desu. 👌 Watashi pity 😢 anata. You'll 👉 never 🙅 be 🐝 Nihongo like 💖 watashi. I'm 💘 a 👌 weeb? Pfft. I 👁 AM 👏 AN 👹 OTAKU DESU. 👌 Educate yourself 🙄 on 🔛 nani a 👌 "weeb" is 💦 before 😂 anata try 😐 to 💦 insult 😦 watashi desu. 👌 I 👁 WILL 👏 NOT 🚫 BE 🐝 CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. 🔥 REPORTED.
Arigatou 💘 for my first gold💦 and silver🔥 , Stranger sama💋 👅
