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Jon Arbuckle drinks dog semen

    Did you know that in the May 30th 1990 edition of the Garfield comic strip, Jon Arbuckle drinks dog semen? It's true, Jim Davis says that it's a protein drink to help pregnant animals but frankly I think Jim Davis is a fucking liar, fuck you Jim you can't even write a single adult joke without backtracking? I expected more out of the artistic integrity of my daily newspaper comic strips, Jim. Instead you play me like this, play me like a fool who doesn't know what dog semen is. Well Jim I know what dog semen is and you can't hide it from me.

    Lamar’s roast Franklin

      Copy paste the Lamar roast Franklin from GTA
      Nigga don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful nigga maybe if you got rid of that Yee Yee Ass hair cut you got you would get bitches on your dick, oh, better yet maybe Tanisha will call your dog ass if she ever stops fucking with that brain Surgeon or Lawyer she fucking with, ♪♪ Niiiggggaaaaaa ♪♪

      Everyone gets a billion

        namaste here's a billion dollar
        Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!

        It’s 2036.

          sadboi guitarist
          It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”

          a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo

            A man has fallen into the river in Lego City
            a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo
start the rescuwu hewicopter
HEY nuzzles u
Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu
prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu
the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!

            So I walk up to this bitch

              I'm like whatever bitch
              So I walk up to this bitch (apparently right after she got divorced) and say "what's up Karen you wanna go for a jog this afternoon haha" and she's like "please just leave me alone" and I'm like "whatever bitch" and then like an hour later get called into our HR person's office and they're like "you gotta stop harassing Karen she's going through a lot right now, she's just signed her divorce papers" And I'm like "hah who'd married that skank, someone with a wheelchair fetish?" And my HR person (Hank) was well like "come on man, they've been married for 16 years. They've been having trouble since her accident last year. She thinks he blames her for getting into the accident that killed their kids" and I'm all like lol So I leave and I'm hungry so I go to grab my lunch (turkey and provolone) only to see, lo and behold, that dumb bitch Karen set her bag of lunch RIGHT in front of mine!! so I write out a note saying how glad I am to be working with her but if she puts her lunch in front of mine again I swear to fuck I will finish the job that God couldn't So I go through the rest of my day joking around with Karen every time I see her even though she is I giant cunt about it (my favorite was 'accidently' dropping a pair of scissors on her colostomy bag lol) and I have to ignore the picture of that fucking rat whenever I walk by her desk So I finish my day asking for her ex husband's number since I need a new wingman to look for some babes with and she fucking flips it and when she's yelling at me I'm all like "maybe if you don't want to get divorced you shouldn't have gotten hit by a drink driver you ever think of that bitch" and then she rolled away aggressively So that was my Thursday