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Yeah, I have Spotify Premium.

    You talking to me? Sorry, couldn't hear you, I was listening to my tunes with Spotify Premium. What was that? Yeah I have Spotify Premium. Sure, it's a monthly expense, but in my eyes (or ears) it outweighs the frustration of ads. Oh, sure, I could just deal with ads. But, you see, I simply don't have that kind of time. I come from a very prestigious upbringing, nothing the likes of you could understand. No offense, of course, ha ha! I jest. But nonetheless, I am simply swimming in currency and but a few coppers are a small price to pay to consume the media you simpletons refer to as "music". Furthermore, by paying money to Spotify, I support workers rights. I put food on families tables. I am basically the white Martin Luther King. Truly, you should be ashamed that you actually listen to advertisements.

    YandereDev on anime tiddies

      Anyone who spends more than 5 minutes in my presence knows that I never stop talking about how much I love busty, curvy, voluptuous anime ladies. Anyone who starts "digging for dirt" on me quickly learns that a pedophile narrative is never going to hold up, since I can't go longer than 60 seconds without talking about big boobs and thick booties.

      If I offered you $100,000 to jump out of a plane

        If I offered you $100,000 to jump out of a plane without a parachute, would you do it? I bet you said "No." But what if I told you the plane was on the ground? Moral of the story: Know all the facts before you open your mouth

        Trump has a massive cock.

          Yeah not true. Trump has a massive cock. I know this because.... I mean just look at how he’s always leaning forward. My president is packing so much heat he almost loses his balance sometimes. He probably tucks it up his shirt and tapes his massive fucking cum-filled balls back up his anal cavity. He’s so thick. I bet he uses all that grease to slide his ticking-time-bomb balls in and out of him and giving himself several anal orgasms in the process. No wonder every woman in government complains about him. They want his massive fucking member and they know they can’t get it because he only gives it to melania. He probably uses cushions and such to hide the massive bulge as well but sometimes I swear I can see his chest wet from all the pre cum he probably pumps out from all that friction.

          I fucking masturbated to the zero suit samus amiibo

            "So I was playing super smash bros with a friend at my place. He brought his switch and we played some matches. My main is zero suit samus and yeah she pretty hot tho ngl. I played super smash bros on my 3Ds when I was younger and bought the Amiibo (which I couldn‘t use on a 3Ds unless I use an extra device). I never got to use it and almost forgot that it exists until my friend mentioned it and we put it on the switch. After he left I was starring on this Amibo and since my parents werent home I was like fuck it. I took it to the bathroom and fucking wanked my ding dong till I busted. Afterwards I felt like shit and had to share this beautiful story with anyone so why not on the internet to a bunch of strangers. Anyways have a great day"

            AITA for telling my black friend that his existence is an example of forced diversity?

              To put it simply, I'm a gamer, a die hard one in fact. I'm someone who absolutely despises politics in my video games. I remember coming home from school ready to play apolitical gems such as Bioshock and MGS with a nice plate of chicken nuggies (my mom made) at my side.
              
              But those days are over, now its normal for a black person to not be a walking stereotype, and for women to no longer just be sex objects. Whenever I see 2 women kissing in my games (not in porn) I almost cry and think of how the neo-Marxist-SJW-gay agenda has ruined video games and traditional gaming values.
              
              And after learning about this, I realize that my only black friend I have is political! It's sad to say that as we've been friends since the good ol MW2 lobbies. He didn't approve of me saying the n-word constantly but we still got along!
              
              So I decided to tell him that I didn't approve of him inserting his political agenda into my life and I cut all ties with him. Although he didn't really seem to care when I told him, he just called me a racist basement dweller without a job. (Him calling me a racist is the only part that isn't true) Our relationship kinda fell out of place when I accidentally called him a racial slur. (Heated gamer moment)
              
              Anyways I just wrote this to see if you guys think I did the right thing.