Hey buddy, I heard you talking crap about my homie MiHoYo.
If you think this is funny, it's not. This is how the game should be designed.
These people are speed running the game with their quick progressions. It's no wonder they're complaining about everything. QUICK REMINDER, it's just a FREE gacha game. Free means no complaints, not even constructive criticism or feedback. MiHoYo is already generous enough to provide 53 EXP per kill instead of ZERO EXP. You will level after only 3,397 ruin guard kills.
Don't get me started with the mora too. If each of those ruin guards give 200 mora each (generously-speaking), by the time you level up from killing 3,397 ruin guards you would have already accumulated 679,245 mora. That's enough for talent rank ups from Lvl 6 --> Lvl 8, almost TWICE.
One big complaint, that I see way too often, is the resin system. Suppose it takes you 15 seconds to kill a ruin guard, or 30 seconds because you hit like a wet noodle. After killing the ruin guard, you spend 25-26 minutes creating a post (all lies btw) trying to expose the flaws of this game on the subreddit, which I will argue against you until the end of time kiddo. The cycle continues indefinitely. Based on my calculations: 30 seconds to kill one ruin guard multiplied by an average of 25.5 minutes of blatant lies from your post, multiplied AGAIN by 3,397 ruin guards is 155,922,300 seconds. That's 2,598,705 minutes. Plus, that was already assuming you had access to killing them back-to-back. This will hinder us casual players, so I'm glad everything is time-gated. Anyway, resin recharges 1 per 8 minutes, that means by the time you kill all 3,397 ruin guards you will obtain AT LEAST:
- 1 level
- 697,245 mora (given that ruin guards give 200 mora each)
- 324,838 RESIN
That's enough resin to last you your entire bloodline.
I for one am enjoying the game so much. I've been collecting common, exquisite, and precious garbage every time I venture the barren wasteland. I'm already AR60 and I haven't even began the Mondstadt story quest line yet. This is coming from a guy who has 15 years of gacha experience (e.g. Candy Crush, Minesweepers, and Ninja Turtles).
No, it's not gay to draw girls with dicks. In fact, it is the only proper way to draw girls. Let me explain. In medieval heraldic tradition, to draw an animal without a penis, or "pizzle" as they called them, was considered a great offense. A large, erect penis symbolized strength and valor. The larger the penis, the more honorable the animal. In fact, in 1579, when a depiction of the coat of arms of Appenzell was printed in Saint Gallen with the bear on the arms missing the pizzle, Appenzell almost declared war. In more recent times, when the Swedish Nordic Battlegroup removed the pizzle from their lion to not offend people, the herald who designed the original coat of arms was greatly insulted. He said that the army didn't understand heraldry, and that coats of arms with lions without penises were historically given to people who betrayed the Swedish Crown. This is why I draw girls with dicks. It's not a fetish, it's because I respect women and don't want to depict them as traitors or cowards. When you think about it, if you ever draw a girl without a large, erect penis, you are actually making subtle misogynistic implications.
FATHER 👨👴 I 👥 CANNOT 🚫 CLICK 👁 THE BOOK 📖 I 👁 CAN'T ❌💨 CLICK 👅 THE BOOK 📖, FATHER 👨 DAD 👨 DAD 👨🏻 THIS BOOK 📙📚 IS ANCIENT 🗿🎼 TECHNOLOGY 💡 THAT IS BEYOND 👉 MY MIND 🧠😤, AS I 👁 HAVE BEEN TAINTED 😷 BY TOUCHPAD TECHNOLOGY 💡 FATHER 👨 THE BOOK 📕📚 IS ANALOG AND THE DEVICES 📱 I 👁 AM ACCUSTOMED TO OPERATING 🤖 ARE DIGITAL 🔢 AND THUS 😂 CLICKING THE BOOK 📖 YIELDS ⚠ UNSATISFACTORY 😢 RESULTS 💹 WHEN 🍑 COMPARED 😡✊🔏 TO THE DIGITAL 🚫 DEVICES 📱 THAT HAVE BECOME 😌 COMMONPLACR AFTER 👀 THE TURN 🔄 OF THE CENTURY 👴 FATHER 👨 PLEASE 🙏🏾 INSTRUCT ⚠ ME ON 🔛 HOW TO OPERATE 🔪⚔ THE BOOK 👈🤡📖 WITH YOUR 👉 SUPERIOR 🎰 MIND 🧠 YOU 👈 WERE BORN 👶 IN THE LATE 💤 1970S 👩🎤 AND THUS 😂 YOUR 👉 REALM 👽 OF KNOWLEDGE 📃📚📔 WOULD MOST LIKELY 😠 ENCOMPASS 🎯 THE HANDLING 😲 AND OPERATION 🔪⚔ OF THIS ANCIENT 📜 TOME 😐 FATHER 📅👨🏼 I 👁 CANNOT 🚫 CLICK 💜 THE BOOK 📖
Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic. "This thing on?" Murmurs of assent. Clears throat again. "Minecraft good." The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath. "Fortnite..." A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held. "Bad." Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.
slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh… not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It’s not bad. A good first attempt. It’s plenty dank… I can tell it’s got some thought behind it… lots of quotable material… But memeing isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You’re skilled… that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - they’re out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it’s “tryhard,” or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don’t just mean the one you just lost :). It’s a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don’t get all mopey on me. You’ve got skill. You’ve got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards….
I wake up at 5 in the morning like usual. Brush my teeth, shower, breakfast. All is as it should be. I say goodbye to my family, I will be gone for an hour while I do laps around the block. It is a cold, eerie morning with a shroud of fog encrypting the surroundings. I begin jogging away from the door, I glance back to see my family staring out the window. Crying over something, I’ll find out when I get back. For exercise waits for no man woman or crustacean. As I make my way around the first corner of the block I hear an arachnid like scuttling behind me. I jerk my head to see what in the devil is behind me. I see a blur of orange and black, I feel a forceful thump on my head and promptly black out. Soon the void receeds. With confused sense I still make out my situation. I am strapped to a chair in what seems to be a vine like mass SATA cables. What in the hell? there is not light in the room but a flickering lightbulb hanging overhead. I hear a familiar screeching voice from across the room. “Today we will be liquid cooling AND overclocking a Human Being! That’s right lady’s and gentleman, a live human being! But first a word from our sponsor, Glasswire!” I promptly faint , never to awake again.
