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Phineas and Ferb lost episode

    Phineas pulled away from the intense, sensitive kiss, the corners of his mouth covered with messy saliva. It was his first. He had dreamed about this moment all of his teenage years. The adrenaline rushed to his stomach and bright cheeks in waves of warmth. He felt a bulge growing in his pants, chuckled softly, nuzzled his head and whispered “Hey Ferb..I think I know what we’re gonna do today.” A musical number faded in. Ferb leaned down to his stepbrother’s thin neck, coddling pockets of his skin in his mouth and sucking, nibbling, until a red mark was made. “I’m all yours, sir.” Phineas whispered, shaken. Ferb continued to paint his stepbrother’s body with marks of territory, settling his thumb in his prey’s mouth as Phineas lovingly sucked on it. Ferb grasped his non-blood relative’s hard triangular member and began to massage it. Suddenly, a rush of wind blew them from their moment. Candace walked out, screaming: “MOM, PHINEAS AND FERB ARE HAVING INCESTUAL RELATIONS!” but as the old tradition goes, everything was back to normal before their mother picked up any hint. Phineas speaks first. “Hey mom! Me and Ferb were wrestling. He won.” In a leathery, seductive, British voice Ferb speaks for the first and only time this episode: “Yes. Yes I did.” A final guitar riff marks the end of the sequence, and a commercial break begins.

    Listen. I hate cleaning toilets just as much as the next guy.

      Listen. I hate cleaning toilets just as much as the next guy. But i have a trick. Listen closely. As I'm scrubbing the base of the toilet, i pretend i have a fetish for toilets. I know, sounds weird. But this works. Take your sponge and start moaning. This will enable your arousal senses. You will soon start to enjoy scrubbing away at it. I pretend my toilet is a big fat juicy badonkadonk and I'm giving it a feel. Visualize whatever you want. Soon you'll have urges to lick the toilet. Don't. Not yet. It isn't clean yet. Keep scrubbing away. Once your toilet is finally all nice and clean, go on, you deserve it.

      For the next time some 12 year old calls you a simp online

        OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THAT EPIC ROAST??!?!?
        
        Guys guys he called me a simp!
        
        OH NO! Whatever shall I do? My life...is over! My reputation...gone! This child has destroyed me with his cunning word choice and his genius intellect. Though I must say, while you may have been the one to kill me, I hold nothing but respect for you and your noble quest. Thanks to your good work, another simp, being myself, has been forever banished from the interwebs. Go forth, and claim a glorious victory! I wish you well, keyboard warrior!
        [wpedon id=813]

        I am probably the least racist person

          I finally liked all the #blackouttuesday posts. I literally searched #blackouttuesday and liked every single post. I am literally the least racist person in all of history. I can't wait for #asianoutmonday and #mexicanoutwednesday and #chineseoutfriday and #muslimoutsaturday. Because I will do the same thing to prove to everyone how unracist I am. Please dear god though I hope there is never a #jewoutsunday because those people are the worst.

          We did it boys, racism is no more.

            My fellow Americans, due to the overwhelming amount of Black squares teenage girls are posting on Instagram, the supreme court has decided end racism completely. We did not think you would go to such extreme measures but you have very much proved your point. The Military will be told to stand down just please stop. Thank you

            hey ladies would you like to get rich by running your own business from home?

              Hey👋 ladies💁‍♀️ 📷 Would 😍 you 👈 like 👍 to 2️⃣ get 😮 rich 💰💰💰 by running 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ your 👈 own business 👩‍💼💼 from home 🏡 with just ☝ your phone? 📱🤳 Well 🤷‍♀️ you can't. 😂 Get 👏 a 👏 real 👏 job 👏 you 👏 stupid 👏 cunt