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DUHHHHH FORTNITE BAD

    wtf fortnite has madalorian now?! FORTNITE GOOD
    DUHHHHH FORTNITE BAD DUHHHH BRORTNITE BRAD!!1!1 IS THAT ALL YOU DEPRESSED FUCKS CAN SAY? FORTNITE FORTNITE EMOJI INSTA BAD EMOJI EMOJI BAD BAD!!1!1 I FEEL LIKE IM IN A FUCKING ASYLUM FULL OF DEMENTIA RIDDEN OLD PEOPLE WHO CAN DO NOTHING BUT REPEAT THE SAME FUCKING WORDS ON LOOP LIKE A BROKEN FUCKING RECORD

    Anime isn’t cheap American ripoffs cartoons

      The ending got me lmao
      Anime isn't just a bunch of cheap American ripoffs of cartoons, it's art. Next time you American sheeple are watching your simpsons or south park or whatever mindless American cartoons that have plots, storylines and comedy, I'll be Admiring the wonderful and superior art of Chinese cartoons.

      Strengthening my sphincter muscles

        "check my oil" lmao
        That's why when I was wrestling half my training regimen was spent strengthening my sphincter muscles. One of the better excercises was sticking a roll of quarters up my ass, then I would slowly and deliberately push it back out. I got so good at this the guys would hand me a dollar after practice, asking for change for the soda machine. The first time this was meant to be a joke but when my muscles became so refined that I could give the change to them one quarter at a time, the joke was on them.
         
        The end result was that I became strong enough to lock-in my opponents finger(s) when he tried to check my oil, thereby incapacitating half of his mobility and strength. I can't tell you how many reversal points I scored off this, but it was worth at least two every match.

        Every Lenny face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

          ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ⊂_ヽ   \\    \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)     ⌒ヽ    /   へ\    /  / \\    レ ノ   ヽ_つ   / /   / /|  ( (ヽ  | |、\  | 丿 \ ⌒)  | |  ) / `ノ )  Lノ (_/ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄ ░░░█░░░░▄▀█▀▀▄░░▀▀▀▄░░░░▐█░░░░░░░░░▄▀█▀▀▄░░░▀█▄ ░░█░░░░▀░▐▌░░▐▌░░░░░▀░░░▐█░░░░░░░░▀░▐▌░░▐▌░░░░█▀ ░▐▌░░░░░░░▀▄▄▀░░░░░░░░░░▐█▄▄░░░░░░░░░▀▄▄▀░░░░░▐▌ ░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ▐█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ▐█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄░░░▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░▐▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀███▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐▌ ░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …..╚(███)╝ ……╚(██)╝ ………(█) ……….* ………………….……………„–~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).’\ ………….…………………… („-~~-„¸_….,/ì’Ì …….…………………….¸„-^”¯( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¸-¯”¯/’ ……………………¸„„-^”¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡’\¸„„,-” **¯¯¯’^^~-„„„—-~^*'”¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡¸-” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)„-^” : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡„-” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ¸„-^¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¸„„-^¯ :.’ : : ‘\ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)¸„„-~” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):”-„””***/*’츒¯ :.’:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡:”-„ ( ͡° ͜ʖ\ .( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° \, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ ‘Ì ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ/ “-„_::::_„-*__„„~

          The ghost of cold war return

            This pasta really takes me back.
            It's 30 years later and the ghosts of the cold war return. The toxic swamps of Florida become the battleground for the 2nd Vietnam War. The Government's only choice is to thaw out the man they put in Cryo-prison for a crime he didn't commit. Not only must he contend with the blood thirsty and dangerous Cyber-Cong, but also Mutated Backwoods Cannibal Hillbillies, Overgrown Gators and a Rogue US Military outfit lead by a man who he treated like his own son. This time War just got personal. 

            You’re an alpha male, are you?

              Back then the word "chad" wasn't invented yet
              Oh, how very big of you. You're an alpha male, are you? Well, let me clue you in on something: Alpha Males haven't been in charge for a good couple of decades. Obviously, this tirade is directed on a High School level. Once you get out of high school, and begin working at your dead-end office job, you know who your boss is going to be? That's right, that pasty nerd you made fun of. It's funny, you see. The majority of the women you are talking about, despite the blatant lies you've slipped in, and the generalizations which remain moderately untrue, are frankly, idiotic sluts. The fact that you're trying to taunt us with them is inane, because while they sound appealing in text, in reality, we wouldn't want anything to do with the fucking skanks. And furthermore, thank you for "fucking every girl in the school (I bet you can bench 2000 pounds too, amirite?)." Honestly, thank you. Why, you may ask? Because, by taking away the easy route, you have brought pain upon us. You have brought us misery, you have forced us to adapt to that misery, and to grow as people. Luxury doesn't incite growth, pain does. So while you're busy sticking it in your AIDS-ridden skanks, we're studying, learning, gaining skills that are necessary for life. You may scoff at this, call us stupid nerds for not getting the pussy while it's hot, but guess what? We're going to get it eventually. You said so yourself, women love power. So, eventually, you're going to find a women you love as much as she primally needs you. You're going to get married, maybe settle down a bit. Wild sex for the first two years, but after a while, she'll get ansy. She'll grow tired of the novelty of the Alpha Male. Your relationship will become the dull forced marriage that is seen constantly in America. You'll likely divorce her and move on, getting a younger wife that'll need you as much as your old wife did when you first married. Seems swell, doesn't it? I can assure you, it isn't. By now, we have risen to power. While you live the life of the swingers, we are the Senators, the Chairmen, we are the rulers of life as you know it. We have transcended your pitiful existence, and control every aspect of your very fate, without you even so much as noticing. By now, we have the money and the power, and as Scarface once said (We know you love him, and have his poster on your bedroom wall,'cause you're cool like that) next we get the women. And guess who it is that loves power, as you said women do? That's right, it's your little skank of a wife! Now, most of us will likely have settled down with a wife, but I'm sure there are plenty that would be glad to take your wife when she dumps your sorry ass to go to the people she knows have the real power. And, as we get older, our fortunes and power will grow. We'll eventually get a few trophy wives, settle down a bit, and live in the lap of luxury. Meanwhile, you, the "Alpha Male" will be left alone. By the time you hit thirty, your primal attraction, your ONLY asset, will begin to fade. Your third wife in ten years will grow tired of your old, pitiful body, and will leave you. Stuck in a dead-end job as one of our pawns, you will grow old and even less appealing. Eventually you will die an old and unloved man, either by taking your own life, drowning yourself in booze, or perhaps merely out of your own misery. So go ahead. Brag about how many women you are fucking. Call us losers. We may seem to be upset, and you may mock our pain, but I assure you, we know your fate. And we are smiling inside.