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Fortnite mom

    Fornite mom
    My 14 year old will not stop playing Fortnite at any given chance. He doesn't want to go to bed, he doesn't want to do his homework, etc.
     
    I picked him up from school the other day and decided to have fun with it. I pulled up in the van, got out, and stood by the passenger door as the school was letting out. The second I saw him come out the door, I yell "HEY JACOB!!" which gets the attention of like 300 kids filing out of the school. I immediately started doing that Fortnite "floss" dance (which I have seen him do), swung it 5 or 6 times, then finished with an epic dab. The crowd responded with a WHOOOOOOAAAAAA and tons of laughter. I then bowed and opened the passenger door like a chauffeur.
     
    When he got in, I said "Man, I tried that Fortnite thing you play and I can see why you like it so much!"
     
    He seems to have played a lot less lately.
     

    Incest is bad

      guys😲i just found out😮😮
       
      so i was fucking🍑 my sister💁🏼‍♀️ as usual🤭 when a thoguth🤔 came to my mimnd🤯🤯🤯: isnt incest 🚫wrong🚫
       
      so i instantly🚫 took my dickc🍆 out o f her💁🏼‍♀️ and picked her up, she had a ocnufsed😲 look on her face😩 and then I threw↗️💯 her out of yhte window🚪
       
      she died instntly🗿 and thats when i realized😩 i had bcome💯 a better prson🎅🏼, because i stopped doig incest🍌.
       
      later i was fucking🍆💦 my mom👵🏼 and she agreed👍🏻 that insects 🐑 is bad😩
       
      hope u consider my infomration⚠️ and use it to becom a better🛐 perosn
       
      bye 👋👋👋👋👋👋

      Dick slapping noises

        "That sound is so perfect and crisp"
        When I was in 3rd grade, I was obsessed with the sound that comes from slapping my dick side to side. Basically, you have to rapidly twist your torso back and forth, propelling the penis to and fro, creating that slapping effect (you have to be buck naked). I even once thought of forming a dick-slapping gang; whenever we beat up somebody, we would throw him on the ground, surround him, strip naked, and torment him with our dick slapping noises. That sound is so perfect and crisp that I also thought of using it as a means of communication. Please don’t make fun of me for this because I was young and it was a long time ago. Thank

        Surprised face ASCII

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          Among Us mini crewmate

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            Hi, my name is Bill Gates

              thanks Mr Bill
              Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10