This video was too long. Halfway through it, I got hungry so I left it playing and went to the kitchen to fix my self a sandwich. But then I found out that I'm out of mayonnaise so I went to a store. There, I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole life. But I'm really a shy person so I took up a three-year personality development course so I can introduce my self. She was very friendly and all, but unfortunately, she has a boyfriend. So I said, all good, I'm a mature person. I want the best for her and I harbor no illusion that I am the best person for her and she seems happy with her boyfriend, so I did not bother her anymore. But we kept in touch and we became friends and I got over my crush on her. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, we drank some alcohol because of it, I told her she'll be fine and I wished her well. I still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but like I said, I am over my crush on her. It was like five years already when I first saw her. Besides, I am quiet happy with the friendship I developed with her. It was more important than a crush. So we kept hanging out, drinking, having coffee, and all. I had a girlfriend, she started dating other guys. My girlfriend wants to live some other life without me in it, so I said, okay, I want the best for you and I want you to pursue your happiness. My lady friend and I drank alcohol about it, and she gave me the same advice I gave her when she was in that position and I became okay with the breakup immediately. But we were really drunk, so she spent the night in my apartment. I only have one bed, so you know what that means: She took the bed and I slept on the couch. But on the couch, I really can't sleep. Something was bothering me. So I tossed and turned for about three hours, then I finally can't take it anymore, I stood up and went straight to my room where she's sleeping. I approached the bed, gently sat on it and I reached for her shoulder to pull her closer to me. She stirred and woke up. She asked what's up. I told her, you know, the first time I saw you, I was watching a video and left it playing to get my self a sandwich then went to the store to get some mayo then I got distracted by life that I forgot to finish the video. She said, you know what, I've been wondering about a weird noise in your night drawer. So we opened that drawer, and lo and behold, there's my phone and this video still has two minutes of play time on it.
After finishing his edit, he begins laughing heartily as he saves the changes to his previously tolerable comment. His chuckling comes to a steady end as he fully relaxes on his chair, closing his eyes. Suddenly, his eyes shoot open and his face violently straightens. He stands up, and fully extends his arms straight and outwards to his sides. His body begins slowly levitating upwards, seemingly breaking the very fundamental rules of reality itself. As he goes against all logic and reason with his vehement hovering, his eyelids drop and rise up again to reveal godly lights beaming from his eye sockets. A disembodied heavenly choir resonates from the abruptly omniscient man. A deific shock wave is fiercely expelled from his body, leveling his house and the surrounding neighborly architecture unworthy of his divine presence. Screams are heard from all directions, from both his family, neighbors, and bystanders walking by. Before continuing his ascent, his lips part to deliver one final message to the mere mortals surrounding him. "I HAVE ACHIEVED, MAXIMUM, COMEDIC, PERFORMANCE." He looks up, and with one swift movement, launches to the heavens, to properly acquire his ownership of the universe itself.
There's a certain amount of respect I would love to obtain with you. But this aspect of respect is produced with levels of understanding and knowledge of each other, I would love to get to know you better in all ways in order to respect you more fully, ways of obtaining this respect comes with the knowledge of knowing you better physically, mentally, spiritually, and in all other aspects. Shall we start with our physical aspects. Knowledge of each other physically can be accomplished in several ways, perhaps a tactic of understanding can be done in photography of our physical bodies. Perhaps we could exchanged detailed photographs of ourselves physically in order to understand each other better in turn to set the stage for an for an even deeper, solid, and respectful relationship
Alright so essentially socks are a gay insulator. When you kiss another man, touch balls, and then proceed to not say no homo. That some gay shit. Although socks are like a last line of defense. Now as I presume many of you know by now the gay travels through the ground like a current. So when you kiss another man, touch balls, and then proceed to not say no homo it doesn't go from mouth to mouth. Rather it goes down through the ground and travels up into your body from below which is GAY as FUCK. Although socks will block the gay from even entering your body thereby meaning that kissing another man, touching balls, and saying full homo are actually straight as fuck as long as you wear socks.
Hit or miss 🗡✖
I guess they never miss huh? 🤔❌
You got a boyfriend 💑
I bet he doesn't kiss ya 💏✖
Mwah 😙😚
He gon find another girl 😱🙍♀️
And he won't miss ya 😂😎
He gon skrrt and hit the dab 🚗😎
Like Wiz Khalifa 😉😉
Yesterday I saw a white, windowless van saying "free candy" in spray paint. I love candy, especially free, so naturally I walk over to the van and knock on the window. The man came out and he looked quite old and strange, and he also smelt a bit like fish and sewage. But who am I to judge if I'm getting free candy right? He opened the back door and told me to come inside. Inside it was dark and it smelt like the bathroom after my dad's daily alone time. I felt the man touch my legs and feet when all of a sudden the lights turned on. I could see him crouched over next to me at a light switch and to my amazement there was the most candy I have ever seen in my life. The man smiled to reveal black and missing teeth, probably from the sugar in all of the candy. He told me to take as much as I want. After eating as much as my stomach could hold, I went home with my pockets filled with the candy. When i got home, my dad asked where have I been all this time so i told him the story. He then took me to my room and proceeded to fuck me in the ass
