Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
A tear of joy streams down my cheek, snapping me out of the beautiful and peaceful illusion the glowing screen had created in the middle of the quiet night, where only cars on the highway can be heard. I gaze out the window with a blank and disappointed face, as I mutter "Yeah, thats not me." The stars glimmer quietly in the night sky like diamonds calling out to you to reach them. I turn my wet face back to the screen to make yet another pointless comment on another pointless post. My hand becomes numb and realize what I truly desire in life, something I can only hope to harbor in front of my eyes...
Bob broke into a house one night, to steal all things within his sight - He picked the lock, came through the door, he tiptoed slowly on the floor.
He crept around without a sound, although, inside, his heart did pound - He reached out to check a drawer, to seek the riches he looked for.
But then he made an awful creak and heard a harsh and brash voice speak, "Hey, who the hell are you, you bitch?" the voice said in an angry pitch.
Bob turned to see a man who stood, who did what Bob thought no one could - He transformed right before Bob's eyes, became the size of many guys.
A cannon sprung forth from his chest, he said, "It's time for you to rest." - He made Bob pay for all his crimes - He fucking shot him ninety times.
Wtf am I jerking off to? How has my life gone so downhill that I'm jacking off to drawings? I think I know why my dad left. It's because he knew what I would be doing in 20 years from now. Is this my life now. Do I Really get fucking aroused when I see a stickman with boobs, I do. Who am I inside? I don't know because I'm too busy jerking off to stickmen with boobs.
