Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I'm gonna keep it short and sweet because I just came back from the hospital. Yesterday my friend John and I went to one of the clubs that recently opened up after the lock down. We were drinking and dancing and in general having a great time, considering it was just two lads at the club. Suddenly I notice a bag of pillies on the floor. The degenerate inside me gets almost an instant boner. So I pick the pills up and try to ascertain what they might be. I flip the pills to check for markings and in huge letters appeared the word "ROCHE". So I decided to google what they were, and lo and behold, I realized I had just stumbled upon some motherfucking roofies.
First I felt a little disgusted. Finding roofies on the floor of a club? Fuck this was almost 100% going to be used for something nefarious. Then, I felt a little relieved - this motherfucker just lost his rape pills thank fuck. Then, I felt a little excited - cuz they call me the boofmaster in my social circle (I hang out with other degenerates obviously) and I had never boofied a roofie.
So I immediately dip from the club. Tell John that I gotta get my boof on and he understood immediately. I go home and proceed to put an entire pill in my ass. Now, I have no idea how strong these were but holy shit. They knocked me on my ass almost immediately (no pun intended). I was quickly becoming incoherent so I decided to go to bed. Next thing I remember is waking up to three shadows above my head looking very concerned. One was my dad, the other two were nurses. I'm still in a pretty confused state of mind so I try to get up and see that what's happening. After I regain some coherence, I get updated on what has happened. Apparently my Dad came into my room late at night only to find me with my pants undone and drooling like a fucking mad man and my eyes rolled up. He freaked the fuck out and called the EMT on me. Everything is better now, but I still can't face my dad because he found the bag of pills and the EMT explained to him what they were, as well as the mode of ingestion. FUCK. Wish me luck boys, I have to go out for a family trip with him soon.
People who say no u make me want to throw up. When i’m having a valiant argument with the scum of the internet and they say no u, I want the ground to shake where they fall and swallow them up again. Fuck you you useless piece of unwanted crappy smelly trash. Why don’t you come up with a better response than no u you fucking idiot. Your parents probably hate you for your lack of vocabulary. You probably sit and act like a retard because of your lack of vocabulary skills. Fuck you. People who say No U are the fucking scum of the earth. Come up with better comebacks you simpleton. Kill yourself while your at it you mother fucker. Come at me next time with a better response tou peasant. I deserve a better response instead of just no u you fucking clown. I’m waiting for a well written response pussy. Thank you cunt.
Not so fast Morty. You heard your mom. We’ve got adventures to go on, Morty. Just you and me. And sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You wanna know why, Morty? Because he crossed me. Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different? No more dad, Morty. He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away! I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now your gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty! Forever! An-and I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty! Th-b-because that’s what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! I want that Mulan mcnugget sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnugget dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! That’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnugget sauce Morty!
What the blast did you just fucking say to me you rebel scum? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Jedi Academy, I've been involved in numerous secret missions to destroy the Sith, and have over 300 confirmed midichlorians. I am trained in the Jedi Way and I built the Millenium Falcon in my back yard. You are nothing to me but just another nerfherder. I will force push the youngling out of you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my fucking Hutt breath. You think you can get away with saying that bantha fodder to me in front of the Jedi Council?? Think again buckethead. As we speak, I am contacting the secret Council of Jedi across Coruscant and your scruffy looking ass is getting caught in my tractor beam so you better prepare for the Death Star, dirtball. The Death Star that will blow up the pathetic planet you call your life. You're fucking dead, farmboy. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven ways, and that's just with my lightsaber. Not only am I extensively trained in the ways of the Force, but I have access to the entire Jedi Temple Library and I will use it to its full extent to force push your miserable ass off the face of this star system, you little prequel. If only you could have sensed what unholy retribution your little "piston-headed" comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have held your fucking Wookie. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you scruffy-looking nerfherder. I will drag you to the waters of Kamino and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, my young padawan
Listen fuckwad, you absolute waste of human life, I could NOT give less of a shit about wether or not my post resembles your shitty chinese cartoon. I'm so fucking tired of seeing you small brained Apes running around everywhere, and talking about this jojo shit. I've had fucking enough. If I ever see one of you fat fucking pedophiles that jack off to drawings EVER mention jojo again, I swear I'll go out of my way and hunt you down like the vile and disgusting animal you are.
