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How to summon Obama

    You have to apply for Obamacare first.
    how to summon obama
    1. scream the n word at your parents until they beat you
    2. if you did it right obama will appear in your room at 3 am
    3. if he doesn't appear, try again

    How Achilles really died

      In Greek mythology, Achilles was a hero of the Trojan War.
      I just read a story about a girl from the Trojan war named Bofidie who was a pecan saleswoman. Apparently, when Achilles was storming the castle after letting his troops in, Bofidie saw him coming and dumped her pecans on the ground in his path before she went to go hide. When Achilles walked through, he slipped on the pecans and fell, which let Paris make the shot that hit Achilles' Achilles tendon. So while Paris may have gotten the final blow, Achilles was really killed by Bofidie's nuts.

      19 dollar Fortnite card

        Okay, $19 Fortnite card, who wants it? And yes, I'm giving it away. Remember; share, share share. And trolls, don't get blocked!
        Okay 🆗, 19$ 💵 💵 fortnite ⛏️ card. 💳 Who ❓ wants it ⁉️ And yes, ✅ I'm 👨 giving it away. 😄 🧒 Remember, SHARE 🔁, SHARE 🔁 , SHARE 🔁. And ➕ trolls 👺 , don't get blocked 🚫 🧒 ‼️
        19 dollar 💵 Fortnite 🏯 card 💳 Who 🤷🏿‍♂️ wants 😩 it? And yes 😏 I’m 👈✌️🖐 giving 🎅🏿🎁 it ✊ away 👏♻️ Remember 🤔💭 share 📈📉 share 📉📈 sHarE! 😩😉😎 And Trolls... 😈👹👺 DON’T 😡🤬😤 GET 💉 BLOCKED 🧱🧴👏

        There’s no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist.

          Just did some p-ups myself while typing comment.
          There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.