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    forgot the emojis ✨✨🌙♈️♋️♍️♎️💕
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    “Your chess is insane.”

      Hikaru Nakamura is an American chess player and Twitch livestreamer.
      "Your chess is insane." Hikaru said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Magnus's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests Magnus, as Hikaru blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Magnus. "Weak tempo play, Hikaru." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Magnus places his Rook into Hikarus open line.

      I made my girlfriend orgasm with an Xbox controller

        this is a real gaming moment
        For you console gamers, you probably already know how this could have happened. For you non-console gamers, here's some context: Certain actions and environmental effects inside a video game can cause the controller to vibrate, so the bigger the sound the more vibration. So, here's what happened:
        
        I was doing some late night gaming on my Xbox, playing some Halo. My girlfriend has already kissed me goodnight as she said she was going to sleep. Now in Halo, there are certain weapons you can charge up to fire, which causes the Xbox controller to vibrate like crazy. As I played through the night, an idea popped in my head as I felt the shaking controller. Vibrators make girls orgasm really easy, right? Well, could I just use a controller instead? Just prop one of the sides against her pussy? So, that's what I decided to do.
        
        I left the Xbox on Halo with me charging up a plasma pistol as I crept into our bedroom, vibrating controller in hand. My girlfriend was fast asleep. Slowly but delicately, I pulled the covers off the bed, then her pajamas, and rested one arm of the Xbox controller on her pussy. 10 seconds in I could feel her thighs twitching and jolting subconsciously with pleasure. With one final swing of her waist, I felt her cum, which immediately shot her awake. "What the fuck are you doing," she said. Then she saw the controller.
        
        She won't let me have sex with her for another month. Achievement Unlocked: SeXbox Controller.
        
        Edit 1: Thanks for the Gold Kind Stranger
        
        Edit 2: For those of you calling this Rape it’s okay because it was done on National Rape Day
        
        Edit 3: Who the fuck believed this enough to contact RedditCareResources
        
        Edit 4: Holy crap the amount of libtards this attracted... eat shit guys it’s a joke

        How to respond to a dick pic

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          I can’t stop masturbating to grapes

            I'm eating grapes right now
            Holy shit. I am fucking turned on by grapes. Whenever I feel the soft, slimy outer skin, I get turned on. I slowly peel off the wet skin of a green grape, and start to feel its inner flesh. I squeeze the grape onto my dick and feel aroused as the grape crushes against my rock hard boner. I ejaculate my cock with the grape in my hand and feel pleasured as my dick is penetrated by the grape seeds. In a clash of flavor, I begin to climax, with the grape seeds getting shot out at the window, shattering the glass. I then stack a pile of grapes which i sit on. As the grapes enter my ass, I begin to shit out cum, shit, and grape juice all at once on the floor. When I run out of grapes, I contemplate suicide and begin to hang myself until the noose breaks due to my weight, and I begin to ejaculate again with more grapes.

            Futa hentai is the best and totally not gay

              Futa refers to characters who have an overall feminine body, but have both female and male primary genitalia.
              Futa hentai is the best and totally not gay. On the contrary, it's actually double straight, even more straight than vanilla hentai. Futas have all the sex organs: dick, vag, boobs. That's 66.6% straight and 33.3 (repeating, of course) % gay if you don't like futas. However, the dick and vag cancel out mathematically and we're left with nothing but female boobs, which is 100% straight. On top of that, the male g spot is in the ass. Getting your g spot pounded by a man is gay. Getting your g spot pounded by a fat twelve inch futa cock is straight because there's a vagina somewhere back there and boobs that can rest on your back, plus the math checked out. There are only two types of men: men who want a fat futa cock railing their throat and dumping a hot load into their stomach followed by hours upon hours of anal, and men who are in denial.