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You’ve been spotted as a girl online

    All of the edits should be in a span of 15 minutes
    Excuse me sir or ma'am
    
    but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"
    
    Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet."
    
    And here you are!
    
    I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other.
    
    I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat).
    
    Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess!
    
    EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha
    
    EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah
    
    EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said?
    
    EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge
    
    EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore
    
    EDIT 6: hey are you there?
    
    EDIT 7: send feet pics

    Nani the fuck did you just

      Nani the fuck did you just
      Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.

      Stop trying to talk Japanese if you don’t even know it

        like the word ばか that means idiot in japanese, but the wannabe japanese idiots will always try to type those words in the romaji, they type "baka", i hate seeing shit like that, stop trying to talk japanese if you don't even know it

        TIFU by accidentally flashing my enormous cum-producing cock and balls to a teenage Target employee

          NTA your cock your rules
          I may have accidentally committed a felony today by inadvertently exposing myself to a teenage girl.
          
          I recently had a baby, and in an effort to maximize time, I often pump for cum while I'm driving. Earlier today I had to pick up a Target drive-up order just as I was finishing my pumping session.
          
          I pulled into the parking spot and clicked the "I'm here" button in the app, figuring I'd have a few minutes to get pumping wrapped up and put away. I shouldn't have underestimated Target's customer service.
          
          Within 20 seconds a pubescent teen girl was staring at me through my drivers seat window, mere inches from my cum splattered, grotesque postpartum cock and balls (which could probably more accurately be described as big jim and the twins).
          
          Her face told an epic story only a seasoned author could conjure:
          
          1.    Confusion.
          
          2.    Skeptical confusion as she starred directly at my tip being sucked into the transparent flanges like a profane cow
          
          3.    Horror
          
          4.    Massive embarrassment.
          
          I have a feeling she will be conjuring this story to a therapist someday, LOL!
          
          TL:DR: I didn't get my pumping session wrapped up soon enough and flashed a teenage Target employee with my cum producing cock and balls.

          🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿ᴡʜᴀᴛ🐿ᴛʜᴇ🐿ʜᴇʟʟ🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿

            🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿ᴡʜᴀᴛ🐿ᴛʜᴇ🐿ʜᴇʟʟ🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿
            🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿ᴡʜᴀᴛ🐿ᴛʜᴇ🐿ʜᴇʟʟ🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿
            ᵇᵒⁱ🐿️ʷʰᵃᵗ🐿️ᵗʰᵉ🐿️ʰᵉˡˡ🐿️ᵇᵒⁱ🐿️
            🐿ʙᴏɪ🐿ᴡʜᴀᴛ🐿ᴛʜᴇ🐿ʜᴇʟʟ🐿 ʙᴏɪ🐿
            Boi🐀what 🐀the🐀hell🐀
            🦬so🦬Tom🦬what🦬you🦬think🦬about🦬that🦬dumb🦬as$🦬video🦬bro?🦬 🐿Boi🐿what🐿da🐿hell🐿boi🐿