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If you had 24 hours with me, what would we do?

    Sexual intercourse. That's the answer for all of these. Every single one of you that uh "oh if you had 24 hours with me what would you.." Sexual intercourse. Every single time. We don't need to do any more. All done. You're so hot. Hubba hubba. Wanna have sex. That's it. No more. The dude that's like "Oh if I brought you Domino's and I worked at Domino's what would you do?" I'd take the pizza and I'd have sex with you. Cause you're so attractive. The girl "If I worked at Starbucks and I gave you your drink that you paid for but I looked at you, what would you do?" Intercourse. I would take you to the back and have intercourse, because I can't resist you. Okay? We're all done. There's no more. What more do we n- I need to fucking delete this app dude.

    17 days without jerking off

      What no fapping would do to ya
      17 days without jerking off, I entered the pharmacy to buy a candy(dont ask me why), then the girl spoke like this "good night, can I help?" Man who says that? Everyone knows that these girls only say "good night / good day / good afternoon" but for me she said "good night, I can help", naughty she is super flirting me. I caught a red candy and said "I want a strawberry candy" then she said "this is cherry, the strawberry is the most rosy" look how naughty, man, unbelievable, the mine had the audacity to say that the Red candy is not strawberry just to pull a subject with me, I decided to see how much she wanted that dick, so I said "ah it's all the same" then she giggled. Man was not a joke, there was no reason for her to laugh, she laughed to leave me at ease and ask for my number, I'm sure. So I kept looking at her shut up for about 40 seconds to make a link in the flirting because it was not fair just to do everything, she asking "is ... Do you want anything else sir?" Look how naughty offering to me at work, so I just stayed with the candy in the hand looking at her, she started looking at the sides to see if anyone was looking at her to ask for my number, she was so euphoric with my presence That was beginning to sweat and fill the eyes of water, surely imagining our future married. Two minutes after I only hold the candy and look into her eyes I put my hand in the pocket to get the wallet and she said "please do not hurt me", certainly imagining a wild sex because I'm this alpha male that I am. Then I took the wallet, opened a smile, picked up 1 dollar and paid for the candy. Then I said "I'll be back" and a tear came down her face. Certainly she is completely in love with me and crying with happiness.

      Pepe Penis

        ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠡⠀⠌⠙⠿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠠⠤⠤⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠤⠍⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⠶⣶⣤⡀⢀⣤⣤⣤⡤⢤⣬⣛⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⣤⠈⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡏⢀⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣷⣤⣤⣴⣿⠟⠈⠛⠿⠷⠤⣴⡿⠿⣿⣿ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠠⠄⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⣀⡀⠁⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⠻⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢿⣏⣛⡻⠷⣶⣦⣬⣅⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠴⣚⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠿⠷⣶⣮⣭⣝⣛⣛⣻⣭⣭⣭⣵⣶⠶⢛⣽⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣀⣐⠂⠀⠠⠤⠤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⢀⡸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿ ⣿⠀⢠⣶⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠴⠶⢶⣿⡇⠀⠈⠻⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠶⢤⣤⣿ ⣿⠀⢀⣀⣀⣴⣿⠀⠀⣤⣤⣼⣿⡇⠀⣤⡀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⡿⠶⢤⣤⡀⠈⣿ ⣿⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣇⣠⣿⣷⣤⣀⣿⣧⣀⣸⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣴⣿

        AITA for fucking your mom?

          I(69M, heterosexual) last night(10/24/21 11:12 PM) got consent(verbal) from your mom(420F) to have sexual intercourse(hetero), but you(42069M) got very angry(blood pressure 100/140) and yelled(80 decibels) at me. Am I the asshole?

          You’ll find a linux user anywhere

            Just like Windows, iOS, and Mac OS, Linux is an operating system
            You'll find a linux user anywhere you mention Linux.

I'm sure if someone went to the moon and said "windows is pretty cool", then in the next 30 minutes a linux user somewhere in the world would burst a vein in his head and fly to the moon to tell the astronaut how he installed linux in 8th grade and his dad came back and how he solved world hunger by using foss so now no one spies on him and he's completely off the grid.

            Brown Bricks Minecrap

              The prophecy has been fulfilled
              Magnum Opus
              🅱️rown 🅱️ricks
              I don't know what the block does, do you? I don't know. I dunno. Hey everybody, I'm here with my good friend, Inspector Gadget. Uh, how're you doing Inspector Gadget? I'm having a lot of fun. So, you wanna do some reviews, Inspector Gadget? I'm better than you are, so I should do the review. Okay, alright, well, Inspector Gadget's gonna do the review. You can shut up now, I'm always on duty! Hmm, do you have that game, "Miney Crafta"? Penny was telling me she was playing it on her computer book. Let's play Miney Crafta! Um, well, I have Minecraft, I think that's probably what you're talking about. Let's try that. Hmm, oh yes, this is it: Miney Crafta! No no no, Inspector gadget, it's called Minecraft. Oh, Minecrap! I cannot wait to play Minecrap. Do you know what my favorite thing to do is in Minecrap? I love building bricks with Minecrap. Building bricks with Minecrap is the best thing and the most amount of fun you can have while playing an app. I understand why all the kids are playing this game these days -- it's because they like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. I also like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. It's the most fun you can possibly have. What is the point of Minecrap? Well, there really is no point. It's a sandbox game. Oh good, I love building sandcastles. No, that just means you can do anything you want like explore, build stuff, and mess around. What kind of stuff can you build? Well, anything, really. There's one guy that built a scale model of the Starship Enterprise. My deduction skills as a detective tell me he has quite possibly, never had sex. Come on, Inspector Gadget, it's about expressing your creativity! But, he is just copying a fake rocket ship blueprint designed by someone else! Seems more like monkey see, monkey do than using creative energy if you ask me. Oh, you think you can do better, huh? I have a robotic implant in my brain that lets me preform 12,000,000,000,000,000 calculations per second. I could rewrite the entire game's code, while helping Penny with her homework, and cleaning up brain's doody, all at the same time! He's a nerd, and I hate nerds more than I hate MAD agents. What an asshole! He may not have a powerful cybernetic brain like yours, but I think that the kid used Minecraft in a unique, and complex, yet beautiful way, making the adaptation of---- I told you to shut up, but you didn't listen. Oh look, a free iPad
              Open dialogue
              [Mike] I don't know what the block does, do you? I don't know. I dunno. 

[Mike] Hey everybody, I'm here with my good friend, Inspector Gadget. Uh, how're you doing Inspector Gadget? 

[Inspector Gadget] I'm having a lot of fun. 

[Mike] So, you wanna do some reviews, Inspector Gadget? 

[Inspector Gadget] I'm better than you are, so I should do the review. 

[Mike] Okay, alright, well, Inspector Gadget's gonna do the review. 

[Inspector Gadget] You can shut up now, I'm always on duty! Hmm, do you have that game, "Miney Crafta"? 
Penny was telling me she was playing it on her computer book. Let's play Miney Crafta! 

[Mike] Um, well, I have Minecraft, I think that's probably what you're talking about. Let's try that. 

[Inspector Gadget] Hmm, oh yes, this is it: Miney Crafta!

[Mike] No no no, Inspector gadget, it's called Minecraft.

[Inspector Gadget] Oh, Minecrap! I cannot wait to play Minecrap. Do you know what my favorite thing to do is in Minecrap? I love building bricks with Minecrap. Building bricks with Minecrap is the best thing and the most amount of fun you can have while playing an app. I understand why all the kids are playing this game these days -- it's because they like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. I also like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. It's the most fun you can possibly have. What is the point of Minecrap?

[Mike] Well, there really is no point. It's a sandbox game.

[Inspector Gadget] Oh good, I love building sandcastles.

[Mike] No, that just means you can do anything you want like explore, build stuff, and mess around. What kind of stuff can you build? Well, anything, really. There's one guy that built a scale model of the Starship Enterprise.

[Inspector Gadget] My deduction skills as a detective tell me he has quite possibly, never had sex.

[Mike] Come on, Inspector Gadget, it's about expressing your creativity!

[Inspector Gadget] But, he is just copying a fake rocket ship blueprint designed by someone else! Seems more like monkey see, monkey do than using creative energy if you ask me.

[Mike] Oh, you think you can do better, huh?

[Inspector Gadget] I have a robotic implant in my brain that lets me preform 12,000,000,000,000,000 calculations per second. I could rewrite the entire game's code, while helping Penny with her homework, and cleaning up brain's doody, all at the same time! He's a nerd, and I hate nerds more than I hate MAD agents. What an asshole!

[Mike] He may not have a powerful cybernetic brain like yours, but I think that the kid used Minecraft in a unique, and complex, yet beautiful way, making the adaptation of-

(Inspector Gadget shots mike, killing him.)

[Inspector Gadget] I told you to shut up, but you didn't listen. Oh look, a free iPad.