My nuts have detached from my body, I was in my bedroom messing around with my Rias body pillow when all of a sudden one of the broken threads from all the years of intense pickle pounding latched on to my grotesque testicle. It grabbed it with a tremendous force so flabbergasting that it ripped my balls right off. However it is very convenient because now I can fuck my body pillow to my greatest desire without making a mess!
So me and my girlfriend were on Discord together bored out of our minds. That’s when she came up with the idea to play Among Us. I agreed, and we joined a public lobbies playing together.
So in one round I get the engineer role (for those who haven’t played among us for a while, it’s a role where you can vent as a crew mate) and I vent in front of her. She freaks out and presses the button and snitches on me, telling the people I was an Impostor.
They didn’t believe her and they skipped. I then told her on vc that if I was the impostor I wouldn’t even kill her because that’s messed up. She on the other hand said “I would murder you first if I was the impostor.”
So next round I’m the Impostor. I killed her first and I started laughing because she was so surprised by it. So I begin to finish the round off by winning. After I won, I continued to laugh about how she was so unaware of me killing her.
Then she got angry at me and told me that I promised I wouldn’t kill her as an impostor, so I broke the trust I had with her. I thought she was joking at first because ITS AMONG US. A GAME WHERE YOU HAVE TO LIE.
She then said things like “What kind of boyfriend does that” “You’re just like my ex” “you shouldn’t be laughing, that proves you don’t care about me”
So I argued back with her telling her it was a game about fucking beans and she’s getting so worked up over it.
We kinda yelled at each other on VC which led to her breaking up with me because she couldn’t trust me anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK. 😭I really just lost my girlfriend over amogus. Here’s a little bit of our convo after we got off vc and stuff.
https://ibb.co/fpJJBX7
TL;DR: My girlfriend and I played among us together. I killed her as an impostor and she went off at me which ended in us breaking up.
Meet the Bogdanoff brothers. Quick rundown on them:
rothschilds bow to the Bogdanoffs
in contact with aliens
rumoured to possess psychic abilities
control france with an iron fist
own castles and banks all over the world
direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city)
own basically every DNA editing research facility on Earth
first designer babies will be Bogdanoff Babies
both brothers said to have 200+ IQ
ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon the Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
They own Nanobot R&D labs around the world
You likely have Bogdabots inside you right now
The Bogdanoffs are in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church
They learned fluent French in under a week
Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Bogdanoff
The twins are 67 years old, from the space-time reference point of the base human.
In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the Bog bang to the end of the universe
The Bogdanoffs will guide humanity into a new age of wisdom, peace and love . ' || ' .
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'/ _ \ .-''-. / 💀_ \
|💦 `- .' .--. '. `💀 |
|======' ((<>)) '======|
| 💀 '. `||' .' 💀 |
\ _.- `-||-' -._ /
. 💀 / || \ 💀 .
. / 💀|| 💀 \.
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gregory, do you see the small vent on the floor? have you ever heard of among us, gregory? you need to vent. i know it will be hard for you to be sus but i know you can do it gregory.Gregory🧍🏻♂️, do you see 👀 the vent ⌨️on the floor🔽⁉️? Have you ever heard 👂of Among Us 📮Gregory😂🤣🧍🏻♂️? You need ❗️to vent ⌨️. I know 🧠it will be hard 🍆for you to be sus 🤪😂🤣📮🚘but 🍑I know 🧠you can 🥫do it Gregory 🧍🏻♂️😂🥴.
For instance
You say kid 👦 we say mini-crewmate
You say earth 🌎 we say Mira-hq
You say suspicious🥷, we say sussy bakas
You say “he was murdered so I called the police”, we say “EMERGENCY MEETING”
You say “the joke is dead” we say Among us poop mod 2021 (still working) (free) (not click bait)