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i clapped my best friends cheeks at a slepover and told him it was the dog NSFW

    A little backstory, I am gay and by best freind is straight, he doesnt know that I'm gay yet, but I plan on telling him soon. So one day he invited me to a sleepover and I planned on telling him there and got way too nervous and chickened out, I am also in love with my best friend and went we went to sleep he looked way sexy so I got really horny and couldn't resist. Note: my friend takes sleeping pills, so he gets knocked out cold and its hard to wake him up. anyway, I decided to rail his asshole harder than ever and came in him. In the morning he said his asshole hurt and looked at me weird, i said "it mustve been the dog or something, maybe he humped while you were asleep" he doesnt have a dog.

    Y’all remember the sissy game right?

      Sissy game copypasta
      So I'm not the only one who remembers the sissy game right? It that game you play on middle school/high school where one boy has to be the sissy. The sissy, who was never me btw, has to do what every other boy wants and can't do anything about it. Usually that meant sucking them off or getting your boy pussy pounded by the older kids. They'd all call the kid, who was never me obviously, sissy and all the girls would laugh. They'd also piss on him from time to time and make him swallow. Both the piss and the cum. Y'all also played this game right guys, right?

      UWOOOAAAAHHH SEEEEEGGGSSS!!!!

        SEEEEEGGGSSS copypasta
        Source

        From a meme video of a Japanese man running on the road screaming about sex. The video has gained popularity due to its absurdity and being randomly recommended on Youtube.

        UWOOOAAAAHHH

SEEEEEGGGSSS!!!!

UWAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

SEEEEEGGGSSS!!!!

ORE WA SEKKUSU SURUN JANE!!!!

ORE GA, ORE JISHIN GA SHINRO SEKKUSU NI NARUN JA!!!!

SEEEEEGGGSSSS!!!!!!

YAMERO, RISU OMAE!

KONO IJOU WA

TAIRYOKU GA MOTANAI!

IYE!!!

ORE WA SEKKUSU NI NARU

ZETTAINI SEKKUSU NI NARUN DAAAA!!!

SEEEEEEEEGGGGSSS!!!!!!

SEEEEEEEEEEEGGGSSSS!!!!

YAMERU!!

SHINJIMAU TO RISU

OMAE INOCHI GA IKITE MO

TSUGITA SEKKUSU DEKIRU NARO GA!!!

URUSEE!!!!

ORE WA SHINDA TE SEKKUSU SURUN DA!!!

UWWWOOOOOO!!

SEEEEEEGGGGSSS
        うああああああせええええええええええええくす！

うああああああああああああ！せえええええええええええええええええええくす！

俺はセックスをするんじゃねえ！

俺が、俺自身が、真のセックスになるんだ！

せえええええええええええくす！！

やめろ、タケシお前これ以上は体力がもたない!

いや、俺はセックスになる!絶対にセックスになるんだ!

せええええええええええええくす！

せええええええくす！！！！

やめろ、死んじまうぞタケシ!

おめえ、命が尽きても、尽きたらセックスができねえだろうが!

うるせえ！俺は死んだってセックスをするんだ！

うあああああああああああああああああああ！せえええええええええええええええええええくす！

        Oooooooooooooooooh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxx! I ain't the one having sex! I'm gonna be the real definition of sex, myself! Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxx! Stop it, Takeshi, you don’t have enough strength to keep doing this! No, I’m gonna have sex. No, I'm gonna be sex master! Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxx! ！！！！Stop, you'll die, Takeshi! Even if you die, you won't be able to have sex! Shut up! I'm gonna have sex even when i’m dead! Aaaaahhhh! Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex!!!!

        Alternate JP version

        うをおおああああ

せええええっくす !!!!

うわあああああ!!!!

せええええっくす !!!!

おれわ、 せっくするんじゃね !!!!

おれが、 おれじしんが、しんのせっくす に なるん じゃ !!!!

せええええっくす !!!!!!

やめろ、 りす、おまえ !

これいじょうわたいりょく がもたない !

いぇえ !!!

おれわせっくすになる、ぜったいに せっくすになるん だあああ !!!

せえええええええっくす !!!!!!

せええええええええええっくす !!!!

やめろ !!

しんじまうぞ、りす

おまえいのちがいきても

つぎたせっくすできるなろが !!!

うるせえ !!!!

おれわしんだてせっくすするんだ !!!

うっをおおおおお !!

せえええええっくす！

        r/radioheadcirclejerk ruined the entirety of Kid A album for me.

          "Babe wake up, new Radiohead copypasta just dropped"
          Original post
          This fucking joke of a subreddit is the sole reason I can no longer listen to Kid A anymore.

This WAS my favourite album of all time, nevermind in the context of the Radiohead discography. The album is a masterpiece especially compared to today's pop trash on the radio. On my darkest days, I would put this album on and be moved to tears everytime.

But the fucking basement dwellers of r/radioheadcirclejerk have ruined any sense of enjoyment I had listening to the album. Mainly because of the stupid fucking meme of "HoLY SHIt GuYS hE SaID IcE AgE CoMInG Did ThOm YorkE PrEDicT tHe IcE aGe MoVie CoMIng OuT?!!??" And whenever I listen to the album and it gets to Idiotque, I break down in hysterics because all I can think of is that dumbass fucking meme and the subhuman trash populating that subreddit. It ruins and emotional weigh and meaning to the songs because it's clouded by their absolute stupidity.

I had to bring this up to my therapist because this album was so special to me and this whole experience psychologically damaged me.

I guess art is dead because people can't take art seriously anymore. They have to make it about some dead fucking meme or something and entirely devalue the art. This is the death of art happening before our very eyes, folks. And if you won't stand for the most influential artist of the century and not let their name be smeared by jokers of the internet, than you are not a true radiohead fan.

I want r/radioheadcirclejerk to be taken down because this is a disgrace to human expression and an assult on the psyche.

Fuck you and fuck your dumbass fucking memes. Radiohead deserves way better.

          Ballora’s cup size calculated

            Ballora from FNaF copypasta
            The Ballora blueprint confirms her to be 6.2 feet tall, so I measured the pixels of her body in the picture and found her to be 599 pixels in height

599 pixels = 6.2 feet

So this means

1 pixel = 0.010350584307179 feet

To measure cup size, one must measure the waist below the breast first

The front and back of her waist came to be a total of 122 pixels, now we'll measure the sides and add them up

Each side came to be 69 pixels (nice), which is a total of 260 pixels as her full waist measurement for below the breasts

This can be converted to 2.69115192 feet or 32.29382304 inches

Now, the next step of cup size calculation is to measure the nipple-level of the breast, so right where it horizontally peaks

The front and back of her chest came to 214 pixels

The sides combined calculated to 196 pixels, which brings a total of 410 pixels

This can be converted to 4.24373957 feet or 50.92487484 inches

Cup size is calculated by subtracting the chest size from the below-chest size, leaving a total of 18.6310518 inches

This difference would give her a cup size of R in Canada and the US, or Cup LL in the UK, or Cup W in the EU

Somebody get this woman clothes that fit

            Asmongold’s Brony Defence

              Asmongold on him being a brony
              Source for the clip
              "Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"