Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"
"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi
i can kick you and you will die immediately, i can kick you once and you will literally disintegrate. Do you want to square off infront of robinsons I can kick you and your whole body will stop existing. youre cells will die one by one and your brain will literally shutdown. youre entire human anatomy will disintegrate in a chain reaction. your skeleton will literally crumple and this is all because you wanted to square me off infront of robinsons you actual shitsucker of a baby googoogaga go fuck yourself
Last weekend I (16M) visited a friend of mine (17F) for a sleepover. I asked if I could shower because I wasn't feeling so fresh. She let me and I stepped in. I was flatulent so I farted, but gas wasn't all that came out. I must admit that I do this on purpose when I'm home but I've never done it at a friend's house. I was really embarrassed so I just stomped most of it down the drain. Some splattered over the wall though and the shower was not handheld, so I decided to leave it and hope for the best. I cleaned myself and put on some clothes and pretended like nothing happened. The next day her mother decided to take a shower and saw the mess. She was LIVID, screaming at my friend for the mess she'd made. She started crying and left the room. She returned a few minutes later and she had a look of death. I panicked, and we argued. I decided to deny all allegations and blame her dog for the mess. She said that her dog would never projectile shit all over the shower walls, yet I kept denying it. She eventually calmed down and I left. I personally think I did nothing wrong since it wasn't even a big mess, and a dog could easily have done that. My friend won't respond to any of my texts, she's probably expecting me to apologize or something
