Notices you in the distances and smells your ovulation/period/ fertility/clit I transform into a black-furred werewolf bear dragon and my voice gets deep like a black men's voice (not in a racist way) and my balls get very furry like pictures a white furry Guinea pig and my cock gets so large and huge and very big because it's massive and veiny and cum is already cumming out of it. My eyes change color depending how horny I am (red if I'm super horny and red if I'm chill) I go through the Amazon rainforest, jump over mount Everett, build homes for poor colored people, punch every trump supporter in the gut, cross the dessert and we have sex which is very nice
My son told me today he is a furry. He was sent away and we searched his room. His Google Chrome history was full of this group. I have seen unholy drawings and sick jokes that he posts here. We found a folder full of pornographic comics and something called based department. This group has destroyed my son. His mind is filled with naked animals. Groups like this need to be shut down and banned. That's all. Took me an hour to figure out how to post here - I hope you read this and see the lives you destroy. We will be having a VERY stern chat with him and he's not going to have social media access for a LONG time.
I (54 M) live alone in a remote area. My new neighbor had moved in pretty recently, and i noticed they had begun construction on the house. All of the houses in my neighborhood had wooden roofs, although, the roof my neighbor was installing seemed odd. I looked it up and oh my god. Once i clicked on the images, i felt the blood rush to my little guy. It was as if i could cum on the spot. Their curviness, the terracotta color, everything was so erotic. I found myself touching my lower regions. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so good. The next day, my neighbors roof was still being installed. I had an excellent idea. I grabbed the latter from my garage and sneakily brought it over to their house. While avoiding the cameras and guard dogs, I climbed on top of their roof. Lord have mercy. I was dripping the second i saw those tiles in real life. No longer keeping my excitement, i began forcefully ripping off a few tiles. I needed to use them now. I couldnt wait. I pulled my pants down. You can guess what happened next by the title. I shoved 4 1/2 roof tiles up my anus. It felt so good. No woman or man had ever pleasured me like this. My moans and whimpers were so loud my neighbor eventually came out of his house to see cum dripping off his roof with 4 1/2 of his roof tiles shoved up my anus. He called the cops on me. They didnt want to touch me so they couldnt arrest me, right? That was my plan until one of the officers informed me their prison had roof tiles similar to the ones shoved up my anus. I got down and let them arrest me. Because the officers were so repulsed by the 4 1/2 roof tiles shoved up my anus, i went the whole drive to prison with 4 1/2 roof tiles shoved up my anus. I was charged with Public Nudity, Exposure To a Minor (my neighbors 4 year old daughter had seem me) and Indecency. Im now going to prison for 8 years. So, Reddit, am i the asshole?
How many bitches do you get? I derived a formula to calculate the answer to my question. Using the formula:
B = G (A·S) / d²Where:
B: Number of bitches you bring in (BϵN)
G: Grass constant. The natural logarithm of the number of times you should have touched grass in the past year plus one [G := ln(350+1)]
A: Your age rounded to 2 decimal points
S: Number of showers you’ve taken this year
d: Number of days since your father left to go get some milk
As we can see, even if you’ve touched grass and showered daily, your father being gone for more than half a decade (d≥3652.5), the denominator juxtaposes all products on the numerator.
In summary, rounding off B to nearest natural number, we can conclude that you get zero bitches, which is completely unrelatable to all others here, who engage in daily sexual intercourse with all female members of your family above the age of 18 (and trust me, there is no upper boundary – your nan is fair game).
