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Is shitting in 3 countries in 12 hours something to be proud of?

    Shitting in 3 countries in 12 hours
    So a month ago I went on a little trip to spain. On the way back out plane had to stop in Italy for 2 hours. I managed to shit once in spain, once in Italy and once in my home country upon arrival, so I managed to shit in 3 different countries in the span of 12 hours. Is this an accomplishment? Of course I won't put it in my CV, but do you know someone that has done something similar? Anyway, I call it the trifecta, you rae more than welcome to attempt doing it.

Edit: Thank you all for the support in the comments. I did not expect this much positive feedback, I'm literally shaking rn. Next summer I'll attempt the fourfecta. Will let you know how it goes

    How to kill a geologist

      How to kill a geologist copypasta
      Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.

I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.

      I became the first person to cum in 2022

        December 31st 2021 - I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my dick desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2022. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white cum everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.

I had just become the first person to cum in 2022. I look over my cum filled desk and chair with pride.

So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to cum in 2022. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of cum everywhere. Oh yes, I am now superior to everyone on the planet, bow down to me, the cum lord of 2022.

Happy new year, losers.

        Monika is so hot.

          Monika is so hot copypasta
          Monika is so hot. Never in the history of gaming has there been a hotter character. She is more than a anime girl to me, she is a person. She is a little tease but she's basically my wife. The devs know what they did with that girl. The aesthetic paired with her demeanor make her such an attractive character. Nothing gets me going better than a sentient anime hacker girl. Every inch of her is so hot. Her thighs up to her midriff and her eyes. Every inch of her is perfection incarnate. I would stay in act 3 forever just to feel the intimacy between us. I crave more than lustful fantasies with her, I seek deep romantic involvement. The craftsmanship of her character surpasses everything I expected from this game. Her choice of words and language formats her character. The choice of clothes with a short skirt and tight yet presentable school clothes which reveal her milky thighs and punctuate the size of her breasts adds to her nice but off-putting personality more. She is my wife, and nothing dissuades me from this fact.

          AITA for murdering my mom and bathing in her blood, using her entrails as bath toys, because she took away my ipad?

            So, I (6m) was watching porn 😳 on my ipad 📱 when my STUPID MOM (43f) came in and saw me. She (43f) took away my ipad, and grounded me (6m) for a week. I (6m) was having none of that, though. Not long after, I (6m) realized that without my (6m) ipad, I (6m) CAN'T WATCH BELUGA!!! 😾😾😾 And I (6m) was having none of that. I (6m) was like, nuh uh uh. So, I (6m) went to the kitchen to grab a knife 🔪 , and I (6m) stabbed her (43f) 47 times in chest, 23 times in the thigh, and 2 times in the throat. After that, I (6m) cut up her (43f) body, put it inside a fridge, and I (6m) waited 3 months 📆. During that time, I survived on dust mites lol 🤣When the time ⏰ came, I (6m) took the blood 🩸 that I took from her (43f) body, and filled my (6m) bathtub with it. I (6m) hopped in, and I (6m) took her (43f) entrails from a bucket that I (6m) had previously placed them in. After that, I (6m) took her (43f) skin, and wore it like a mask. 😷I (6m) looked just like Jacksepticye!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So, Reddit AITA?

            Yo my slime

              Yo my slime copypasta
              Original video
              Yo my slime, I know you really don’t know mandem like that, But I was wondering if, like, I can purchase summin styl fam. Just a bit of grub my drilla. I wanna know what your prices are saying cuz Im trynna blem a zoot up with my boydem and gyaldem. G like you feel me. So get back to me cuz I know your like the top dog round ere. I wanna purchase the food from you Bruce and nobody else. So peace out tho roll safe and get back to me on the Quickting brodem
              Yooo my slime I know you really don’t know mandem like that, but I was wondering if I can purchase summin styl fam. Just a bit of grub my driller. I really wanna know what your price is saying cuz I wanna blem a zoot with my boydem and gyaldem. G you feel me. So get back to me cuz I know you’re the top dog round ere. I wanna purchase the food from you Bruce and nobody else. So peace out tho rahhh safe and get back to me on the Quickting brodem.