You are on your deathbed. The heart-rate monitor beeps twice every second, a reminder that you are still alive, still on this hellish earth. You long for the pleasure that death will bring, the pleasure that rotting away underground in your coffin will bring. But then you get a devilish idea. With all of your might, you ferociously grab your dick and start beating it. As you continue, you feel your heart start to give up, as all of your energy is focused on your hands fondling your throbbing dick. The monitor now is only beeping once per second. Your nurse rushes over to see what is happening. And then, you finally let go. Cum explodes out of your dick at the speed of light, right into the nurse's mouth, making her choke. This only makes you harder. A second wave comes out from your penis. All of this energy you have used up now makes your frail heart go into cardiac arrest. Your head begins to feel faint, and you see the nurse spluttering on the floor, gasping for air under your sickly cum. This is the last thing you see before you flat line. Death. The horniest thing of all. With shattering force, your corpse lets go one last shot of semen.
Hello, fellow Black People. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your colour, now that it has made it into international news and it is completely socially safe to mention you, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even used the hashtag of [event]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, Black People. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
Trump sat back in his chair with a smirk. He was ecstatic about the fact that the constitution would protect him from democracy due to the fact that the only way to remove him from office was to put him in a peach. A PEACH. He could never fit in such a small object, such a feat was impossible. "ORDER ORDER" said Pelosi. "Donald Trump, you have abused executive power for far too long. I order that you are put in peach" Trump laughed. "Your honor, there is no way I can fit in peach." Pelosi grinned and then turned to the gates at the back of the room. "BRING OUT THE GIANT PEACH." Trumps heart stopped. The gates slowly and ominously opened to reveal a massive peach the size of a two story building. "I-impossible" Trump said, his orange skin turning pale. "How could this be?" "Today Ladies and Gentlemen..." said pelosi with an even wider grin. "Blumpf In peach"
When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.
When you were partying
I studied The Blade
When you were having premarital sex
I mastered The Blockchain
While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity
I cultivated Inner Strength
And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help?
