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Como eu faço pra conectar o meu plug anal bluetooth com o twitter do Bolsonaro?

    Bolsonaro copypasta
    Como eu faço pra conectar o meu plug anal bluetooth com o twitter do Bolsonaro?
    
    Basicamente, eu quero configurar o meu plug anal pra vibrar toda vez que o Bolsonaro twittar alguma coisa. Só o pensamento dele comendo o meu cuzinho já me dá uma ereção enorme, então eu quero sentir ele dentro de mim sempre que ele twittar algo.
    
    Eu estou trabalhando remotamente por causa do coronga, então eu posso ficar o dia inteiro com ele enfiado lá. Se alguém souber como configurar, por favor me diga!

    Open English translated

    How do I connect my bluetooth butt plug with Bolsonaro's twitter?
    
    Basically, I want to configure my butt plug to vibrate every time Bolsonaro tweets something. Just the thought of him eating my ass gives me a massive hard-on, so I want to feel him inside me whenever he tweets something.
    
    I'm working remotely because of the coronga, so I can spend all day with him cooped up in there. If anyone knows how to configure it, please let me know!

    meu avô foi de base

      sem meme, vou mandar o pprt tava marcado pra no FDS (final de semana) eu ir pra cg (capital) dar um look no meu vô que tava miado healando no hospital (mto noggers), aí eu fui e mandei "segue a call meu velho, se quiser quitar tá tranks que nois segura pq tamo na vantagem e temo ult" aí eu já aproveitei que tava lá e como sou alpha minded já larguei o beta spirit e fui na house da minha mina aí eu tava lá no kekw com o dick na pussy e recebo uma call midlane, era minha tia que disse "seu vô não tankou a gankada e foi de base" aí foi omegalul total no dia seguinte já loguei no enterro e vi que meu vô não ia dar respawn e o padre já lançou "ele era based e mto sigma" e eu fiquei tipo "slk hablou muito poggers dms" no final foi meio gore e cringe mas eu tankei pq não sou bluepill

      Open English translated

      no meme, I'm going to send the pprt it was scheduled for the FDS (weekend) I went to cg (capital) to take a look at my grandpa who was meowing healing at the hospital (too noggers), so I went and said "follow the call old man, if you want to get rid of it, it's tranks that we hold because we are in the advantage and I fear ult" then I took advantage of being there and as I'm alpha minded I already dropped the beta spirit and went to my girl's house there I was there at kekw with dick at pussy and i get a call midlane, it was my aunt who said "your grandpa didn't tank the gankada and went with base" then it was total omegalul the next day i already logged in to the funeral and saw that my grandpa wasn't going to respawn and the priest already released "he was based and a lot of sigma" and I was like "slk spoke a lot of poggers dms" in the end it was kind of gore and cringe but I tanked because I'm not bluepill

      ITS FINALLY FALL 🍁🍁🍁

        ITS FINNALLY FALL🌬🍁🍂. You know what that means! Jump ⬆️⬆️in the PILE👬👭👫because it’s 🚨CUFFING🚨 ⛓🔑🔒season. Time to SPREAD⬅️➡️🤸‍♀️ your LADY 🫦LEAVES🍂🍁 and FALL 🙇‍♀️on this DICK🍆🍆. But don’t forget to WRAP🤞 up! It’s SWEATER weather 🧥🧣🧤for a reason. The pumpkin 🍑❓ CREAMPIEs💦 may be SPICY🌶☕️, but you DONT ‼️🙅‍♀️want an early 🤰SCARE 😰before THIS⬇️🕓 SPOOKY 👻season. So light 🔥your fall 🍃SCENTS🌿🤔, take a hay RIDE🚜🌾 on this DICK😤, and BEND OVER 😳and BOB⬆️⬇️🧎‍♀️for apples🍎🍏. If you want to RAKE🧹 in BITCHES👯‍♀️ this year, SEND🔜 THIS to 10 😍potential CUFFED-up CUMmers💦😩 OR ELSE ‼️🫣you’ll be drinking FAPple ✊🍆🤏cider ALONE 😱this CUFFING SEASON😤😤😤.

        Can I shower with my AirPods in my butt

          So I’ve been a huge fan of Travis Scott for quite some time now (since his collaboration with Fortnite) and I was hoping to listen to Sicko Mode while scrubbing myself down in the shower. But as I undressed to bathe the thought occurred to me that if I wanted to really internalize Mr. Scott’s songwriting, the obvious choice is to do this anally. So next thing I know I’ve got two AirPod Pros lodged in my butt, blasting Sicko Mode at full volume (almost accidentally played Mo Bamba lol :P ). But then I realized that maybe AirPods shouldn’t be used while in the shower. So, I’m wondering, does anyone know if I can do this? Will my AirPods be ok? I just popped them in my ears and they sound a little funny.
          
          Regards,

          Guy on Reddit play Cbat during sex

            TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off
            
            A little back story; when I first started having sex I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.
            
            I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm.
            
            There are a few songs to my playlist. However there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way.
            
            I don’t understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song, it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she’d like to add/change. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I’m a bit annoyed.
            
            I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.
            
            Not to mention my previous partners, however they never complained about the song so maybe it’s just her?
            
            It’s fucked up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.
            
            I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates the song.
            
            the song itself
            
            TL;DR She hates my love making tunes and didn’t tell me for over two years making sex now awkward.

            The original post on Reddit

            LIGHTNING BOLTS SHOOT FROM MY FINGERTIPS!

              Ha, you're sorry? You're sorry? You killed my brother, and you say you're sorry? Let me tell you something. The job offer, it didn't upset me, it amused me. Wooo, big job at the illustrious HHM. A chance to play at the palace. Ooh Little old me? You have no idea what's going on. You're a teensie tiny man in a teensie weensie little bubble. Ohhh don't you fucking "Oh Jimmy" me. You look down on me? you pity me? walk away. That's right Howard. You know why I didn't take the job? Because it's too SMALL. I don't care about it. It's nothing to me. It's a bacterium. I travel in worlds you can't even imagine. You can't conceive of what im capable of. I'm so far beyond you. I'm like a god in human clothing. Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!
              Ohhh don't you fucking "Oh Jimmy" me. You look down on me? you pity me? walk away. That's right Howard. You know why I didn't take the job? Because it's too SMALL. I don't care about it. It's nothing to me. It's a bacterium. I travel in worlds you can't even imagine. You can't conceive of what I'm capable of. I'm so far beyond you. I'm like a god in human clothing. Lightning bolts shoot from my fingertips!