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Lux drives me absolutely wild

    Lux from LoL copypasta
    Lux drives me absolutely wild and I need to vent

She's just a dumb, slutty blonde that's super peppy and cheery, but as soon as you gank her lane and grab her hair she just turns into a sparkly-eyed, blushing whore for cock.

Every time I win my lane against Lux I get a testosterone overload. I have to look at her hentai to let it all out.

Your shield might protect you from my Q's but not this goddamn dick.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

    Fish fucker confession

      Fish fucker copypasta
      Original confession video
      I’ve got a confession to make…

When I was about 13, I went fishing with my dad. I caught a fish, and I was really happy about it. I just felt like I had a connection with the fish it just felt very nice in my hands. It felt like it was chosen for me and so when my dad told me to throw that fish back in the water, but I couldn’t do it, so I threw a rock in the water and pretended it was the fish and I shoved the fish down my trouser. The fish was not bigger than my dick when it’s hard, but it was in there and the fish got warm as we were going home, and I just remember I was getting a boner as I was going home, and my dad was speaking to me and I tried to shift the focus away from the warm fish because I could feel the fish kinda like shaking and dying on my dick. It was kinda giving me a uhm, not a blowjob but it just felt like it was, you know it was having its last moments on my dick and it felt really special to me even though it was weird. And I remember getting home, quickly going to my room and I lied down and got naked. I remember taking my zip down and I saw the fish covered in cum. That one moment just felt amazing to me. And it was still kinda shaking like its nerves were going off, and it just felt so good. And I remember I didn’t want to let that fish go, I couldn’t let it go, because I felt like I was responsible for the fish and so I cleaned up all the cum and I cleaned up myself and I kept it in a freezer in my room. Whenever I would get horny and stuff, I’d use the fish to masturbate, and I would cum all over it again and again and again until the fish was smelling up the house and my dad knew something was going on with me. He could tell from the smell that something was in my mini-fridge, and he found the fish. I remember making up excuses, telling him “It’s not my fish, my friend gave it to me as a prank”. My dad was looking at me with disgust and I had to get rid of the fish which was obviously sad. And it affects me because I can’t speak to my dad without thinking about the fish. What’s even worse is that I can’t jack off without thinking about the fish. Porn doesn’t do it for me anymore. There’s no fish related stuff, no nothing. I don’t like fish as a food that much. I prefer medium-rare steak. Whenever I jack off I kinda feel the fish. I’ll never forget the feeling of it dying on my dick while I cummed on it.

      Why the penis is better than the ballsack

        A response to this post
        You fucking idiot cocks are better than balls in every way. And I will show you why cocks are better than balls

Firstly the penis is more iconic with it's long thick stem and the head being an it's head with a design resembling a mushroom which, being one of the first lifeforms on the planet even preceding plants and barely changing over the millions of years it has existed shows that the penis's design is greay but, the penis makes the mushroom's design even better by taking the head of it and making it more aerodynamic which, gives it the ability to bulldoze through everything and everyone. The penis is a sign of masterfully crafted excellence, the ballsack on the other hand is just a bunch of organs haphazardly thrown together into a skin sack.

Secondly the human body spends way more resources on the penis than it ever spends on the ballsack. The human body specially pumps penis full of blood but, the might of the penis's might is so unparalleled that it uses up all of the body's resources if used for long stretches of time. The penis is only activated on a special occasion; the ballsack just hangs around.

Thirdly the penis has many imitators because it's a beautifully crafted device, as they say: "Imitation is the best form of flattery." The ballsack having barely any imitators to speak of is a sign of its inferior design. The mighty penis is the one to start many great businesses and an entire industry not the ballsack.

And finally the feeling of sucking a penis Is a feeling of pure ecstasy, nothing will ever beat the feeling of sucking on a big meaty penis. As soon as the penis hits your mouth it envelopes and overpowers you with its mere presence, lightly twitching in your mouth to show that it needs to be taken care of and that your only responsibility at the moment is to suck on it. The ballsack is a plaything the penis is to be taken seriously.

        Tommyinit kicked from dream SMP

          Tommyinit copypasta
          Every Dreamsmp pasta
          Guys, 👱‍♂️💂‍♂️ did 💦 you 🤟 know 🙎🤔 that 🚫😟 tommy might 💪 be 🐝🏿 kicked 👞 from the dream 💭 smp? He 👈😩 broke 🚫💰 a rule 🚷 and there’s been 😡 a lot 🤯 of drama about 💦 it, if you 👉 wish 🙏 to know 💭 more ✋✋ search 🔍 up 👅😋 tommyinnit rule 🚷 34 dream smp

          The Lord’s Prayer

            Copy paste The Lord's Prayer
            Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever.

Amen.

            Fapgod

              Fap God lyrics
              I'm beginning to feel like a fap god, fap god.

Busting on his back like he's just so hard so hard,

His fat ass makes all his cash yea, cash yea

I bashed my cock right in his ass, gave it a fat rash,

Right after i paid him I pulled up my phone, jerked off to his skin tone,

the cum hit my flip phone while I'm beating my fat bone,

this is how I spend my bank loans,

on these cumdumps with those fat rumps,

nutting on them feels so good, my came shot across the whole hood,

they call me EDP cuz they can suck my dick for free, it fills me with glee,

I bust so hard they cant see, while hes still counting his 123s,

Im drinking all this lean, letting out my sea-....MEN!

MEN ARE SO HOT OMFG THANK YOU FORT THE GOLD!

#fapgod
              Look, I was gonna go easy on you Try not to gurt on your ceiling But I'm only going to get this one chance Someone’s dong, I can feel it (Six minutes) Just a feeling I've got Like something's about to explode But I don't know what If that means what I think it means We're in trouble, big trouble And if he is as big bananad as you say I'm not taking any chances You are just what the doc ordered

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Fap God, Fap God All my people from the cnuts to the cracks nod, back nod Now, who thinks their cocks are long enough To fap box, fap box? They said I fap like a robot, so call me Fap-bot

But for me to fap like a machine It must be in my jeans I got a laptop in my back pocket My cock'll go off when I half-lock it Got a fat cock from that fap profit

Made a livin' and a ribbin' off it Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office With Monica Lewinsky feelin' on his nutsack I'm a penis still as honest But as rude and as indecent as all hell Syllables, wank-a-holic (Kill 'em all with)

This fappity dippity-hippity slobbery-cok You don't really wanna get into a pissin' match With this fappity brat, packin' a MAC In the back of the Ac' Backpack fap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

And at the exact same time I attempt these lyrical acrobat jacks While I'm practicin' that I'll still be able to take a motherfuckin' nuttin’ Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs Feel my wrath of a wank Fappers are havin' a rough time period Here's a maxi pad It's actually disastrously bad for the wank While I'm masterfully mistaking this masturbaiting as

'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Fap God, Fap God All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod Now, who thinks their cocks are long enough to fap box, fap box? Let me show you maintainin' this shit ain't that hard, it’s HARD

Everybody wants the PP and the secret To fap immortality like Ι have got Well, to be truthful the blueprint's Simply tape and youthful exuberance Everybody loves to roofie for a nuisance Hit the Earth like an asteroid Did nothing but shoot for the Poon since (22!)

MCs get taken to school with this music 'Cause I use it as a vehicle to "bus the nuts" Now I beat to a new school full of students Me? I'm a product of Cleenex Likin Shabazz, 2Fap, B.B.C, Lube, hey Doc, Ren Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim Inspired enough to one day blow up Seek nut and be in a position To meet Run-D.M.C., induct them Into the motherfuckin' Cock and Roll Hall of Came

Even though I'll wank in the church And burst in a ball of nut Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in Is the STD of fame On the wall of shame You fags think it's all a game 'Til I wank a flock of gays Off a plank and, tell me what in the fuck are you thinkin'?

Little gay-lookin' boy So gay I can barely say it with a limp penis Lookin' boy (Ha-ha!)

You're witnessin' a underage wankings Like you're watching a priest gathering take place, alter lookin' boy "Oy vey, that boy's gay!"—that's all they say, holy lookin' boy You get a thumbs up, put on the crack And a "way to go" from your label every day, lookin' boy

Hey, lookin' boy! What you say, lookin' boy? I get a "hell yeah" from Dre, lookin' boy I'ma wank for everything I have Never asked nobody for nips Get outta my bed, lookin' boy! Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable Of keepin' up with the same pace, lookin' boy, 'cause—

I'm beginnin' to wank like a Fap God, Fap God All my males from the nipple to the Crack drop, back drop The way I'm jeetin' around your crack Call me NASCAR, NASCAR Dale Earnhardt of the nail’her park, the White Rash God Kneel before General plod This planet's Tip is In—not, Asfar, Asstard

So you'll be Thor, I'll be Odin You rodent, I'm omnipotent Let off, then I'm reloadin' Immediately with these cums, I'm totin' And I should not be woken

I'm the walkin' dead, but I'm just a givin' head A zombie floatin' But I got your mom deep-throatin' I'm out my Ramen Noodle We have nothin' in common, poodle I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm And pay homage, pupil

It's me, my honesty's brutal But it's honestly futile if I don't Utilize what I do though For good at least once in a while So I wanna make sure somewhere in this Chicken scratch I nipple and canoodle enough thighs To maybe try to help get some gays through tough times But I gotta keep a few tissues Just in case, 'cause pass you a tissue Fappers are hungry lookin' at me like it's lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I Was rimming the underground But I still fap like I'm on my Pharoah Monch grind So I crunch thighs, but sometimes when you combine Appeal with the skin color of mine You get too 6 and here they come tryin' To censor you like that one nine

I said on "I'm Black" from The Mathers LP 1 when I Tried to say I'll take seven kids from PornOnline Put 'em all in a line, add a BC-69, a revolver and an extra 9 See if I get away with it now That I ain't as big as I was, but I'm Morphin' into an immortal, comin' through the ass portal You're fucked in a time warp from 2004 though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for You're pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin' cornrows You wank normal? Fuck being normal! And I just bought a new gaygun from the future Just to come and shoot ya, like when Fabolous made Ray J mad 'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag on Mayweather's lap Singin' to a man while he lickin’ his tap

Man, oh man, that was a 24-7 special on the cable channel So Ray J went straight on the masturbation The very next day, "Hey Fab, I'ma kill you!" Lyrics comin' at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin' I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman? Innovative and I'm all in rubber So that anything you say is turnin' me on And it'll glue to you and I'm devastating, more than ever masturbaiting How to give a motherfuckin' audience An orgasm like it's levitating Never jacking, and I know the haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be masturbating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated I make elevating tunics, you make elevator music

"Oh, he's too mainstream." Well, that's what they do when they get jealous They confuse it "It's not black-cock, it's not,"—'cause I found a hella way to fuse it With cock, shock fap with Doc Throw on "Gang Universe" and make 'em wank it

"I don't know how to wear thongs like that I don't know what turds to use." Let me know please Amber Heard While I'm rippin' any one of these ass cheeks while it gurts you It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you How many verses I gotta murder to Prove that if you had half the lice in Your thongs you could satisfy virgins too?

Ugh, school flunky, fap junkie But look at the accolades these skills brung me Full of semen, but still horny I bully myself 'cause I make me do What I put my behind to

And I'm a million leagues above you Ill when I sleep with tongues But it's still tongue-in-teets fuck you I'm drunk, so, Satan, take the fucking wheel I'ma nut in the front seat Bumpin' Heavy D and the Boyz Still "Chunky but Funky"

But in my hand there's something I can feel tugging and struggling Angels fight with devils And here's what they want from me They're askin' me to masturbate to some of the women hate But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I have, then you may be a little patient And bring more wanking to the situation And understand the masturbation

But fuck it, life's Jerkin' your lemons? Make lemonade then! But if I can't splatter on the women How the fuck am I supposed to cake them thru masturbation? Don't mistake him for Satan; it's a fatal mistake If you think I need to be overseas and take a masturbation To trip the Philippines, and make her fall on my tiny peen Don't be a retard — Be wanking? Think not Why be wanking when you can suck a cock?