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Homelander’s Birthday Speech

    Homelander birthday rant transcript
    The scene
    I don't make mistakes, I'm not like the rest of you, I'm stronger, I'm smarter, I'm better, I AM BETTER. I'm not some weak kneed fucking crybaby that goes around fucking apolgizing all the time and why the fuck would you want me to be? All my life people have tried to control me, rich people, powerful people, tried to muzzle me, cancel me, keep me impotent and obedient like I'm a fucking puppet. And you know what it worked, Because I allowed it to work and guess what, If they can control me they can control you, they already do you just realize it. I am done, I am done apolgizing, I am done being persecuted for my strength, You should be thanking christ that I am who I am, because you need me, you need me to save you, You Do, I am the only one who possibly can. You're not the real heroes, I am the real hero, I am the real hero
    I 👆 don't 😡 make 📝 mistakes, 😵😵 I'm not 🤷 like 💯 the 👏🕵 rest of you, 👉 I'm ✂ stronger, I'm 👁 smarter, I'm better, 👍🏻 I 🎼👁 AM 💦🌈 BETTER. 💃🏼 I'm ♂👀 not some 💵💥 weak 🤕😷 kneed fucking 😡👉 crybaby 😭😭 that 👌 goes 🅱 around 🔄 fucking apolgizing all the 🏽💌 time ⌛ and why 😕 the 🔪 fuck would 💭 you 👉☝ want me 👨💖 to be? 🐝❄ All 🥜👩 my life people 👱 have tried 👋👋 to 🔜 control me, rich 💳 people, 😃 powerful 💪 people, ☹👩 tried ✅🏻 to muzzle me, 😩 cancel ❌ me, 🤔 keep 🏿🙊 me impotent and obedient 🍆🍆 like I'm a 👩👌 fucking 🚫 puppet. And ✋ you 👦 know what it worked, 🌍 Because 😡👑 I ☹👁 allowed 🤢😤 it to 🙍 work 💵 and 💩 guess 🤔 what, If 👏👏 they 👈👸 can 😡😉 control 😡🏻 me 💡😢 they 🏼 can 💦🔫 control 🏻 you, 👈☝ they already 🤢✔ do you just realize it. I am ☝💦 done, 👀😤 I am 👦👏 done 😤 apolgizing, I 🙋 am 👨 done 😩😍 being persecuted for my 😎😢 strength, 👊 You 👌😍 should 🤔💘 be thanking christ 💒 that 😐😤 I 😡 am 👈 who 👏😂 I 👁 am, 👏😽 because you need 👍🙏 me, you 👉 need me 🏻 to save 📑😩 you, You ☝👉 Do, 👉 I 🌲 am 🌈🤧 the 👏 only 👁 one 💕 who 🤔😂 possibly can. 💰 You're not 🚫 the 😆 real 💯 heroes, 🛡👸 I 🏾💁 am 🏳 the 🍆👏 real hero, I 💇👴 am 👈👏 the 🔥👌 real 💪🌚 hero

    True story I saw Andrew Tate at a McDonalds

      Andrew Tate spotted in McDonalds
      True story I saw Andrew Tate at a McDonalds and he no kidding was dressed aa a Femboy cat girl. He recognised that I recognised him, then hurried away so I followed him. I saw him get into a pink bugatti and start crying so I went over but when he saw me he just smiled and meowed. I was confused so I asked why he was dressed as a Femboy cat girl. He tried to pretend he wasn't Andrew Tate but I could tell it was him by his dimpled head. He finally confessed. He whipped out his wallet and offered me 15 dollars, for 'my hush hush'. He smiled encouragingly and raised his eyebrows in a seductive manner.

I was flustered so I ran. I heard him shout hateful comments as i darted away. I didn't take the money so he made a series of YouTube shorts calling me a beta male who doesn't know how to grind. I still get hate male to this day.

True story.

      Average my anime list review

        Least philosophically sophisticated weeb
        SPOILERS

so i just finished watching "The Only Male At The Big Tittied Catgirl Sex Slave Academy" and, while the show does deliver on its premise i found it incredibly shallow and lacking in its exploration of subject matter.

every episode seems to just have been focused on the protagonist accidentally getting his face stuffed between breasts and thighs, every other shot is some variation of an upskirt or bouncy cleavage exposition and, while the show is delivering on its "big tittied catgirl" promise, the "sex slave" aspect is mostly limited to the catgirls wearing collars and calling the protagonist "master". i feel this is a massive missed opportunity and its downright disgraceful how the show refuses to comment on or further explore its titular themes. the catgirl slaves could've been cleverly used as an allegory to comment on the inhumanity of slavery and and explore how the catgirls are intersectionally disadvantaged and exploited by being not only slaves but also demi-humans. there are also other themes just asking to be explored like the fetishisation of said slavery - see the catgirls in the show dont actually mind being slaves - they do it out of love and enjoy it. this is another missed opportunity as this aspect could've been portrayed as the result of stockholm syndrome and institutionalisation, which would've added much more context and subtle characterisation to the scene where all 70 of them moan loadly while begging for "masters milk".

on the topic of milk, the milking scenes were entirely biologically innacurate, which i take massive issue with. there is simply no way a "clumsy catgirl milk maid" can produce the volume depicted in such a short timeframe, the author has clearly never been on a cattle farm and simply didnt do his research, dissapointing.

now, the biggest offender - the "kawaii catgirl submission training center" arc. first of all, there is NO WAY the catgirl in the wooden horse scene produced such an egregious amount of liquid from JUST having clamps put on, clearly the author has never made a woman wet (much unlike me) and...

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        Actual incel rant

          Incel copypasta found in DMs
          Didn't know that a girl from Florida could be that beautiful. sadly girls as beautiful as you will probably end up having a shitty life, girls like you will fuck a lot for money and have no morals. you probably have sex with tons of chads and don't care about personality. modern females....

Really jealous I can't get a gf like you. in all honesty by the age of 30 you probably won't have any success in life and wished you dated smart, good guys with real ambition. like me.by the age of 25 will be so rich, sadly will be an incel until than probably cause modern females are so dumb.

Sorry if this classified as creppy, pls don't block me before I can see a response. really curious about what you think of your emptiness in life Yeah I'm an ugly guy, but would it be so fucking hard for bitches like you to get drunk and suck my fucking cock. social stigma have ruined females

I'm the most incel like person ever. all females are objectively dumb and have been manipulated by modern society into having unrealistic standards, cause they are gullible. social stigma have ruined modern females. the only point of females is sex, they are inferior in every category compared to men except for looks.

Females fake empathy, they don't have the capability of actually feeling things. Females are so empty inside, robotic. guess they were made that way to be easily fuckable. sadly modern females don't have strong enough of sexual desires to actually fuck normal guys. only chads.

Females shouldn't have any rights.

          Lock picking Lawyer on the Titanfall Frontier

            Lock picking Lawyer x Titanfall crossover 
            This is the Lockpicking Lawyer and what I have for you today is an IMC brand Titan battery cover lock. This is a relatively new product on the frontier, but unfortunately for the Legion main I'm currently rodeoing it has several glaring flaws. The core itself is one of them, in order to pick it I am going to use this dataknife Bosnian Bill and I made. Little click on one, nothing on 2, click on 3, back to 1, 1 is set, little counterrotation on 2 and we've got it open. I would do that again to show you it wasn't a fluke, but there is actually a much faster way to open this lock than single pin picking. I am going insert a thin shim of metal I cut from a stim energy drink can and insert it alongside the shackle, just on the inside here. That will push aside the single locking lug and we've got it ope. One more time to show you it wasn't a fluke. As you can see this lock offers about as much protection as the avergae masterlock and should absolutely not be used to secure expensive military hardware. That's all I have for you today if you have any questions or comments please put them below. if you like this video and would like to see more like it please subscribe and as always have a nice day. Thank you.

            Geometry Dash Girlfriend

              Geometry Dash copypasta
              It was a night like any other. I was grinding out Acu (my first extreme) on my phone while on class, when I noticed something. A woman. A female human. A member of the Homo Sapiens Sapiens species with XX chromosomes. Immediately, my primal instincts activated, and my dick became harder than a diamond, resembling a sword that could slice a man in 2. Of course, one could claim that she just was asking her friend for a pencil and happened to make eye contact with me for 0.2 seconds, but I digress. I quickly volted towards her, and said "I have 4K stars and 120 demons in GD". As any reasonable individual would, she immediately fell in love with me, and proceeded to have sex right there and now, with me yelling "Go at 67%" in the middle of the procedure. Nowadays I am a proud father of 2 and have a lovely wife, all thanks to GD.