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Shh… the trees are sleeping

    “Shh, the trees are sleeping”
    
    I recently moved because of work. It wasn't an easy decision because I had to leave all my family and friends behind. But it was a great way for me to make my own life. My family are great, but I felt like I was being coddled too much. My friends were people I knew from high school, which when hanging out, always devolved into immaturity whenever I was with them. Honestly, I just wanted to grow up.
    
    My work took me to a rural part of England, luckily I was given a hefty bonus, plus some funding from my parents, which gave me enough for buying my own place. I eventually settled on a house that was almost too big for one person, and also had a nice garden with a unique white tree in the centre, which I adored. I mainly chose this house as behind the property were many trails that I could explore. A hobby which I could never do in the city, but always fancied, and I could now binge with this easy access.
    
    My parents also let me bring my childhood dog, Jackson, as I was brought up with him for as long as I can remember. Even though I was trying to leave my old life behind, it's good to remember your roots. Plus he provided me with much needed company while I tried to get used to this new life.
    
    The deal I had for my house was pretty good, it's how I managed to get one much too big for my needs. I could either pay the large deposit, which was too much for me. Or I could leave a more affordable deposit under the condition that if I left within a month, they kept the house and my deposit. I had no plans on leaving as my job position was pretty secured, so it was a good deal to me.
    
    While being shown around I asked about the previous owner, a good idea to do when buying an unoccupied property. The estate agent told me that the previous owner had left suddenly, which is why they implemented the policy which I was signing up with. They also mentioned that the old owner had a cat, and that there was a reward if it was returned. It was implied that the cat could just return to the garden on its own, or I could try look for it when out on the trails.
    
    A positive about the neighbourhood is that it was almost all old retired people living out their golden years in a nice rural scenic area. This was an amazing contrast from the hustle and noise of the city. Something that I wasn't too fond of.
    
    I settled into work pretty fast, and it wasn't long until I was one of the many happy travellers walking the trails with my dog, passing other cheery dog owners enjoying the scenery. The people here were very friendly too, often stopping to say hello and let the dogs socialize.
    
    During one of my many hikes, after venturing down one path for a while, I made my way to one of the entrances to the park. I usually started from behind my house and had never started from the entrance. I noticed a sign with a few rules telling hikers to stay on the designated routes, look out for suspicious behaviour, don't litter, don't be out at night; the usual rules you find at these kind of trails.
    
    After about a week I let my dog out one night to do his business and after calling him back in he didn't return. I looked out and saw no way he could escape, so I presumed he was just going to sleep outside. The weather was nice, and it's something he liked to do from time to time. An odd thing sure, but normal for Jackson as he was an odd dog.
    
    Sadly, the day after, I called out for him and he still didn't return. I walked around the garden to see if there were any holes in the fence he could have squeezed through, but saw no way for his escape. Perplexed, I took to the trails after work for a few hours to no avail.
    
    Fortunately, I had the next few days off of work due to a shipment error, so I decided to spend this time productively. I packed a large rucksack with food, some survival gear, and a compass; my plan was to travel through the day, and possibly into the night, to see if I could find Jackson.
    
    I started on the main trails Jackson and I usually walked, occasionally asking passer-bys if they'd seen my dog. Nothing. I made my way to some of the routes I hadn't yet explored just in case Jackson got excited over the idea of new territory. Again, nothing.
    
    It was apparent I'd be using the plethora of supplies I packed, because the only areas left to search were off trail.
    
    My search eventually became quite a fun adventure. There was a lot of flora that wasn't on any of the main trails which looked amazing. I also saw hints of wildlife.
    
    Getting into the evening, I found myself at the entrance to a grove of white trees similar to the one in my garden. I wandered in, getting a closer look at these bizarre trees. The bark was pale, and felt rubbery; it had an almost translucent look to it. A very unique texture to me, but I'm no expert on trees.
    
    Once in the middle of this unusual area, I felt it was perfect to settle down and eat my dinner. I packed some simple sandwiches and ate them while watching the the sun settle behind the trees. The way the dimming orange glow bounced off the white leaves looked astonishing, and made my meal time worth the travel.
    
    Just before the sun set, I heard a rustle behind me. I turned to see a deer stalking around the area. I quietly packed my lunchbox away and pulled out my phone to see if I could sneak a photo. The deer looked picturesque in the dim glow of the sun and the pale trees surrounding it. Just as I was about to take the picture, the sun set and the area was plunged into darkness.
    
    A wind blew up above and I heard the trees shaking. The deer's ears perked up. Startled, it ran away. The wind stopped, but strangely, the rustling didn't. I turned around to see the branches of the trees starting to swing wildly. As I was trying to comprehend this strange sight, a branch swooped down and punctured straight into my bag. Before I knew what was happening, I was being lifted into the air at a terrifying speed. I reacted by undoing the buckle on my bag and I was dropped to the ground.
    
    I looked up to see all the branches acting in this strange behaviour. They were twitching in an uncanny way, definitely not the influence of any kind of wind or weather. This was purely the movement of the trees themselves.
    
    Out of instinct I started running as fast as I could. I turned on the light on my phone to help guide me. To my right I heard the wailing of a dying animal. I turned to see the deer I was watching just moments ago being forced into the trunk of a tree through the top, it's branches impaling and pushing the struggling deer as it was forced into the trees maw.
    
    This prompted me to run as fast as I could, ignoring the dangers of tripping. I ducked and weaved around branches that were swinging around wildly, getting scraped and smacked a few times. I wiped away the water building up in my eyes, only to see that I was about to run face first into a branch. I skidded to a halt and closed my eyes, expecting to be scooped up and ended like the deer I witnessed only moments ago.
    
    After a moment I opened my eyes and saw the tree was still. It was just a normal oak tree. I turned back to see I was out of the surreal area of white trees. As I was watching from a distance I saw a fox taking a similar route as me out of the danger zone. I saw it almost escape, but just as it was about to hit a safe distance, it was taken by surprise by a wild swing, and pulled back; the fox screaming a deafening wail of defeat as it was crunched and devoured by one of the trees.
    
    Seeing that, I accepted how lucky I was to escape with only a few cuts and bruises.
    
    I eventually made my way to the edge of the woods and saw my garden fence. I was so relieved that I didn't bother open the gate, I simply slumped myself over and rolled onto my back in relief.
    
    As I lay there, I closed my eyes trying to comprehend all that I had witnessed. None of which made any sense to me. While I was in this state of thought I heard a strange sound. Similar to the creaking of an old floor board, or the opening of a stiff door, but for some reason- above me. I opened my eyes to see the tree in my garden starting to jerk and twist to life, seemingly picking up that I was within its reach. I bolted upright and made a dash to my back door, fumbling for my keys as the tree began sweeping its branches around, starting with where I was lying down.
    
    I saw that it picked up on my trail, moving its sharp branch, point first, along the same route I had ran. Luckily, I had managed to open the door and get inside as the branch scraped along the closing door.
    
    I made my way to my bed, taking one last look out my window at the tree, which was slowly juddering back to its original shape. I lay down struggling to sleep, but eventually the exhaustion took over.
    
    The next day I woke up and looked out the window. The tree was motionless. I slowly made my way to the garden and grabbed my washing pole. I had been in the garden many times, and picked up that the movements in the forest only started after the sun had set. I slowly prodded at the tree to see if it'll react. Nothing happened, which confirmed my belief.
    
    I searched my shed, finding an array of old abandoned tools. On the wall was a slightly rusted hatchet. With malice, and grabbed it firmly and sternly made my way to the abomination.
    
    My eyes watered slightly as I started hacking away at the trunk. The hatchet was blunt so it took a long time of chopping, but adrenaline was fuelling each swing.
    
    About a quarter the way through, a strange liquid started to coat the axe. I let it seep out, and saw it was steaming slightly. Not wanting to stop, but not wanting to get any on me, I put on some gardening gloves and goggles, and carried on. The deeper I got, the more this strange fluid stained the pale bark a deep amber.
    
    Eventually I made it far enough to push the tree over and let its own weight snap the rest of the trunk. It seemed my nightmare wasn't over yet. In the centre was the remains of a carcass. The flesh was almost all dissolved away making it unrecognisable, but one things stood out to me. The dog collar that still faintly read “Jackson”.
    
    Out of respect, I gently pulled it out. Underneath was the dissolving remains of another animal. Vaguely reminiscent to a cat. It wasn't hard to figure out who it belonged to.
    
    After, I knelt down to look through the fallen tree, and saw it was all hollow with rows upon rows of small needle like teeth. I cringed at the thought of how painful it would be to be force down that shaft against your will into the disgusting acid below. From how shallow the teeth are, I can imagine there's a chance you could hit the bottom without dying straight away. A fate I imagine is worse than death.
    
    I used the hatchet to make a makeshift hole to bury Jackson. I left the collar on top as a memorial.
    
    After this whole ordeal, I made my way back to my living room. Dirty, and in shock. I lay down, eyes open, just contemplating all that I had witnessed, and what I should do. It was a lot to take in.
    
    I was woken from this trance when I heard a key rattling in my front door, and mumblings from outside. Perplexed I sat up, watching as I saw three people entering my house, talking jovially. It was the estate agent from before showing around a young couple, just at the end of explaining how the previous tenant left without notice.
    
    I gave an exaggerated cough and saw the blood drain from the estate agents face. She quickly dismissed the couple to have an impromptu meeting with me.
    
    She knew they were busted, but gave me an interesting deal. She offered to pay me a rather large figure to never tell anyone about their scheme. I know it was wrong to accept, but I felt it was my best option. In my opinion, there was no easy way I could blow the whistle on this as it's one of the most unbelievable things I can imagine. I didn't let this on during the negotiations and walked out with enough money for me to be set for a long number of years.
    
    As promised, I've not investigated anything since, nor have I warned any of the people moving in there.
    
    It's why I'm telling you this now, as in a way, it makes a rather nice horror story.

    I just had sex(straight)(with a female)

      I have sex(with females) every day
      Hello guys today I just had very hot sex(not gay)(with a woman) and it was pretty fun I fucked her pussy(because she is a woman) and she said she enjoyed it a lot(with a female voice because she is a female). Anyways losing your virginity(to a woman) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a woman).

      As an extreme bee enthusiast

        Bee sex copypasta
        as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect. I shall take a moment to teach the people about bee excrement.
        
        Firstly, to the woe of those into both pee and bee, bees do not pee. Insects entirely lack kidneys, bladders, livers, and more.
        
        Now, to the question regarding the post, do bees fart, and if they do, is it an extremely dirty fart at that? Well, lets first discuss bee poop. bees mostly use everything when making honey, which is basically pure energy and nutrients. Bee poop is mostly undigested pollen grains and more complex sugars. A bee could poop in your ice cream, and you would be none the wiser. you might even like, it better, for reasons ranging from "culinary" to sexual. Bees are surprisingly clean creatures, and despite bee poop basically being failed candy, bees always leave the hive to poop, they do not poop inside the hive. As for the farting part, it is without a doubt that any animal could potentially have air trapped inside it, and therefore must expel it, however farting as we know it is much more than that. Regardless, a bee would not "fart", and if they did, it would be more akin to a floral perfume than a burst of sulfur and feces.
        
        also the head and legs look a bit weird, 4/10

        WAS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING OMORI REFERENCE

          ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING OMORI REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱  OMORI IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯  BASIL IS SO CUTE 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊 OYASUMI OYASUMI OYASUMI OYASUMI 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE AYOTHEPIZZAHERE HERO TAGGED YOU HERO TAGGED YOU HERO TAGGED YOU Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! Yo Mari! 📶 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! Yo Mari! 📶📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Yo Mari! 📶 Welcome to white space, you've been living here for as long as you can remember!!! DEPRESSED KNIFE BOY HAS A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS Something is behind you...‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? DO YOU WANT TO CUT OPEN MEWO? 😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂Omori Drip? Omori Drip Omori Drip? Omori Drip? Omori Drip? Omori Drip? Omori Drip? Omori Drip? 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 🏀Every Kel meme is canon 🏀🏀🏀 🏀🏀🏀Every Kel meme is canon 🏀🏀🏀 🏀🏀🏀Every Kel meme is canon 🏀🏀🏀 🏀🏀🏀Every Kel meme is canon 🏀🏀🏀 Hikikomori is the best ending r/OMORI r/unexpectedOMORI r/expectedOMORI perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance r/Omorimemes
          ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING OMORI REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 OMORI IS THE BEST FUCKING RPG 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 SUNNY IS SO BLESSEDDD 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊 BLACKSUNNY BLACKSUNNY BLACKSUNNY BLACKSUNNY BLACKSUNNY 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩SWEETHEARTPURGE SWEETHEARTPURGE SWEETHEARTPURGE SWEETHEARTPURGE SWEETHEARTPURGE🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬 LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY LBJALLTHEWAY HERO IS NOT A CROOK! KSB BLESSED KSB BLESSED KSB BLESSED KSB BLESSED Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Yo Kel! 🏀 Basil is still alive?!? TICK TOCK FLOWER BOY HAS A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓ BASIL RAFT BASIL RAFT BASIL RAFT So Long...‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? SANE HIKIKOMORI PATH WHEN? 😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? Big Building in Headspace? 🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢🏢 🐋🐋🐋 I hate Humphrey 🐋🐋🐋 🐋🐋🐋I hate Humphrey 🐋🐋🐋 🐋🐋🐋I hate Humphrey 🐋🐋🐋 🐋🐋🐋I hate Humphrey 🐋🐋🐋 Hikikomori and flower best paths for Faraway town r/Paradoxomori r/UnexpectedOMORI r/expectedOMORI perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance r/DSRfunny

          Rick and Morty copypasta but it’s Morbius

            To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Morbius. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Morbius’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Vampire literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Morbius truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Morbius’s existential catchphrase "I am Morbius," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Daniel Espinosa’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
            
            And yes, by the way, i DO have a Morbius tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 morbIQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

            A female friend once gave me an old blanket

              Anons autistic story copypasta
              So uhhhhhhhhhhhh….. a few years ago a girl I was hanging out with gave me a blanket that she didn’t want anymore. I took it home and realized it smelled just like her. I slept with that blanket in my arms and pretended it was her.
              
              I was the only one in my friend group that she never had sex with and I spent the most time with her out of all my friends. She legit would talk about how good my friend ate her pussy and I would just sit there like 🫤👍 while holding on to a sliver of hope that she would at least let me cuddle with her. For My birthday my friends tried to convince her to at least make out with me bc nobody had ever even kissed me before. She said that I was her best friend and that she never wanted to do anything sexual with me because I was such a good friend.
              
              Edit: yeah I stopped hanging out with her after another friend made me realize that she was being hella manipulative and was playing with my feelings. She was always super flirty and touchy with me and sometimes she would actually cuddle w/ me but she was pretty adamant about just remaining friends. I know she had a ton of mental issues but she was also a complete piece of shit human being. She legit verbally abused her parents and pretty much destroyed their marriage. She acted like her life was shit and nobody loved her despite the fact that her family took $5k+ vacations and she lived in a nice ass house. She threatened to kill herself constantly and tried twice ( I will never forget her having a seizure and throwing up all over my car as I drove her to hospital whilst doing 90 in a 45 in a Corolla at 3 am after she took a bunch of pills). Almost every single therapist she had gave up on her because she was a sociopath and was unable to listen to reason
              
              Not all of it was bad. I hang out with a ton of her friends still. Also I kinda sorta fucked her sister 😭 her sister works with mentally disabled people but also is an escort who specializes in helping kids with autism and Down syndrome lose their virginity (me included lol). I remember the girl I hung out with had to go to a doctors appointment when her sister told me to come into her room. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and of course i said yes. Legit the best two hours of my life. Just the way she spoke to me in this quiet, comforting voice still still gives me chills to this day. She legit made me cry because she never stopped saying how awesome I was and how everything was gonna be alright. We fucked a few more times before I stopped hanging out with her sister but I will never forget her