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I got caught masturbating using my sister’s panties

    NTA, your sister your rules
    Well, Yesterday, I was very horny,I was willing to fuck the vacuum machine but mother was using it, So i sneaked and found some of my sister's used panties, she had taken them off to clean them for later, they smelled bad, but i liked the smell, I took it to my room, and i covered it around my dick and started masturbating, It took me around 13 seconds to cum, But i didnt even feel like i was done, i kept going, but well, my sister walked in on me, I thought of this as the perfect chance for her to join me and we have sex, So i told her "Come here babygirl" , Well she didnt like that and started screaming, my father heard it and he came running, I got beat and then kicked out of the house, Does anyone have an extra room and looking for a roommate? Preferrably a girl

    MY SON ACT LIKE GIRL

      Traps and sissy boys copypasta
      HI GUYS MY NAME IS BOBY D. (AGE 60 BIRTHDAY 1961\05\05 TRUCKER BADASS MAN) I WAS WONDERING WHAT MY KID (AGE 16 2006\03\05 GIRLY SISSY BOY) WAS WATCHING. HE WAS WATCHING SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE WEIRD CARTOON. HE DROPPED PHONE AND LEFT TO BATHROOM. I OPEN PHONE. I THINK I SEE A PENIS GET INSERTED TO A BUTTHOLE. BUT BUTTHOLE HAD A PENIS TOO!!! I GOT SCARED. DID MY SON DEAL WITH SATAN? WAS HE GAY? ?
      
      I LOOKED AT PHONE MORE. HE GOT SMS MESSAGE I THINK AND WHEN I OPENED IT I SEE GAY PORNO WITH SOMEONE DRESSING AS A GIRLT!! I KNEW IT!! I LOOKED AT HIS CLOSET AND SAW WEIRD HAIR AND WEIIRD SCHOLGIRL CLOTHES. DID MY ACT LIKE HE WAS A GIRL!!
      
      MY CANT BE A GIRLY SISSY BOY HE IS MY SON AND HE NEEDS TO BE REAL MAN! !! I GOT VERY ANGRY WHEN HE COME BACK TO ROOM I GAVE HIM AN EXTRA SPANKING TODAY. HE MOANED LIKE GIRL. I LAUGHED BECAUSE OF HOW STUPIOD HE IS. I TOLD HIM HE CRIES LIKE A GIRL AND I TOLD HIM TO BE A MAN THATS RIGHT HE ISNT GOING TO GO FAR IN LIFE WITHOUT TAKING A SPANKING OR TWO
      
      I THINK HE PISS HIS PANTS. HIS PANTS ALL WET HAHAHA. I WILL TELL MY WIFE ABOUT THIS ONCE THAT STUPID BITCH COMES BACK HOME FROM HER STUPID FUCKING JOB WITH THAT WHORE DANIELLA AND MAKES ME SOME FUCKING FOOD AFTER A NIGHT OF HARD TRUCKING AND SPANKING MY STUPID GIRLY SON
      
      WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH SON NOW I ALREADY BEAT HIM AND I WANT TO TAKE HIM TO TRUCKING NEXT DAY SO THAT HE CAN SEE HOW TO BE A REAL MAN BUT SHOULD I DO ANYTHING ELSE
      
      HELP

      Check him PC this not normally

        They need to check him pc copypasta
        TenZ skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up
        xQc skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..
        xQc skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit
        he skilled player but that is not normally. this is very very insane.... they need to check him pc and game....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen. he needs to check-up
        Shroud skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up....Day0s FPL Cheater with Streaming.....I think day0s still cheating...Shroud using game deficit

        Original was from a HLTV comment about CSGO player Zyw00

        ZywOO not normally copypasta
        ZywOO skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up....Day0s FPL Cheater with Streaming.....I think day0s still cheating...Zyw00 using game deficit on PRO scene ,ON BIG Events.Maybe everyone dont knows him trick.He incredible....I want to ask his where is the comming of your skill's ?

        .950 JDJ Fat Mac

          950 JDJ Fat Mac copypasta
          This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.
          
          I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.
          
          Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud “thud” as you take each 6″ step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.
          
          You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.
          
          With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream. You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leupold into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.
          
          You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.
          
          It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear. The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.

          Original full reply on Quora

          I had to think this through because it posed an interesting question: what is the provably WORST gun for home defense? A .22 single shot rifle is at least small and quick to point. A Barrett M82 is at least going to instantly stop whatever it hits. Even a good old fashioned musket is going to do good damage and won't hurt your ears. No, I wanted to know what the undisputable worst home defense gun in the world is; and I have found it.
          
          This is the .950 JDJ Fat Mac. It is a 100 pound, 5 foot long rifle that shoots a one pound solid brass bullet at 2200 FPS. It is a non-NFA item only because the ATF gave it a sporting exemption as a joke as if anybody is going to hunt with this. This round would be overkill for hunting blue whales.
          
          I would like to paint a picture for you. It's 2AM and you hear a window break in your living room. This is the worst day this could happen, as every single one of your guns was lost in a tragic boating accident this morning. All were lost except for one. You look across your room in dread at your anti-kaiju rifle. You know what you have to do, but you don't know if you have the strength to do it, both literally and figuratively.
          
          Heaving the rifle into your arms, you load a .950 cartridge and begin to waddle towards the door. Your feet make a loud “thud” as you take each 6″ step. You know the intruders hear you. You hope they do, for perhaps they will run and spare the world the suffering that is about to befall it.
          
          You try to set the rifle down, but end up clipping your bedroom door and it is immediately knocked off its hinges by this battering ram in your hands. You attempt to round the corner, bonking the muzzle against the doorframe and adjacent wall across the hall at least 4 times. To your horror, two invaders stand there at the end of the hall.
          
          With a heavy heart, you raise the rifle to your shoulder while making inhuman grunting noises from the strain of attempting some semblance of a shooting position. The burglars simply stare in disbelief, unable to process the situation they are witnessing, as if in a dream. You cannot aim the rifle, as the last time you fired the gun, it turned your $3000 Leopuld into a kaleidoscope. You simply hold it at an angle that appears correct and fire.
          
          You are immediately knocked to the floor as if hit by a semi truck going 20 MPH. The shot connected with one of the criminals and it erased him from existence. Even the memories of him have been destroyed and you're wondering why you just shot into an empty hallway. The shot continues to travel through at least 4 houses, a car, and a 10 ton boulder before lodging itself 20 feet into a nearby hill, never to be seen again.
          
          It is at this point, you realize you cannot hear. The surviving burglar can't hear either but he's also on fire from the muzzle blast and is currently vacating your home. You don't care. Your shoulder is dislocated and there is a hole in your brand new AR500 refrigerator. You're crying now. The police arrive and, upon seeing the scene, start laughing. You start crying harder.
          I saw JD Jones at a grocery store in Ohio yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
          
          He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
          
          I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
          
          The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
          
          When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly. 

          National Hydration Day 💧

            Happy 😃 national🇺🇸 hydration 🫦💧day☀️, you 💦thirsty🌊 sluts🌝!! You staying hydrated? 👅💦 It’s officially 🧑‍⚖️ summer 🔥☀️, and you🫵 look 👀 parched👎🏻🌵! You better🤬 get to drinking🥤, so you can keep those👉 kidneys🫘🚿wet 😏 and healthy 🩺💪🏻. A gallon 🍶 of water 🥵🌊 a day 📆will keep the doctor 👩‍⚕️🩻 away🙅🏻‍♀️🔪!!!!!