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I wanked to among us porn for the first time

    Whenever I played among us I’d get hard like really hard. The idea that I could be an innocent crewmate trying to survive when a dominant imposter is out looking for me is just… Or when I’m the imposter and I see the fear in pink’s eyes when I’m about to kill them…. The adrenaline from emergency meetings… It all makes me so horny, today I decided that instead of normal porn I’d wank to among us porn and god it was life changing, the orgasm was strong I was shaking cum was everywhere!! The thought of crewmate just doing their tasks not knowing Im behind them ready to strike… I came super quickly and Id do it again, I infact might do it again right now as I got really hard while telling you this.

    Absol is one of the hottest Pokemon ever

      Absol copypasta
      Whenever I see Absol I can’t hold myself back, It takes every ounce in me to not splurg in my pants when I see the color’s white and blue. I have caught over ten thousand Absol’s to add to my rapindly increasing Absol harem and it’s only getting bigger. Absol is the only thing that turns me on, I stopped watching all porn the first time I saw Absol, my cock get’s unbelievably hard when I see her. When I mega evolved my first Absol baby batter immediately started spewing all over my room and gave my walls a new coat of paint. I have wet dreams about having sex with Absol every night, I would grab her horn and fuck her faster than a jackhammer. I have bought every pokemon game just so I can see Absol in each one, I spend all of my time staring at pictures of Absol. I even quit my job to pursue my new Absol passion, I love Absol so much. TLDR? I like Absol a bit.

      Burger King Foot Lettuce

        Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on.
        
        But that's even worse.
        
        The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

        Brap

          Brap sniff oh yes my dear
          BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
           
          snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
           
          BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF
           
          Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
           
          BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT
           
          Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….
          BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPsnnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

          When i was younger I got curious and ended up jacking off to the Diary of Anne frank.

            Anne Frank cursed copypasta
            When i was about 13 and browsing the internet i discovered that Anne Frank's father removed some of the pages of her diary which contained her talking about masturbation and other such topics.Me being curious kid i decided to read it and needless to say i got excited midway through.The post nut clarity hit me like a truck and i still regret it to this day.
            
            TL;DR:found removed pages of Anne's franks diary and masturbated to them

            Why futa is less gay than straight porn

              Actually, futa can be made less gay than straight porn. You see, straight porn has one guy and one girl. Because you're fapping to something with one guy in it, that's 50% gay. If you watch futa fuck a girl, that's one girl and a half girl, thus only 25% gay. You could make it 0% gay with two girls but the problem is, that makes them lesbian, which wraps back to being 100% gay.