Bright sunny day, a redheaded "MILF" in a bathrobe tries to use a kitchen sink.
MILF: That sink never works and my husband is on a business trip. I'll have to call a plumber.
*The MILF picks up her phone and calls a plumber.*
SCENE CHANGE
The doorbell rings. the MILF opens the door to see a tall, thin and bald man wearing an overall.
Plumber: Are you the one who needs your sink fixed?
MILF: Yes I do.
*The plumber tries to turn on the sink.*
Plumber: The problem is probably in the pipes.
*The plumber crouches down and begins to "fix" the pipes*
MILF: do you want something to drink?
Plumber: Coffee please, no milk or sugar.
MILF: OK.
*After a second MILF returns with a cup*
MILF: There you go.
*MILF hands the plumber the cup.*
Plumber: Thank you.
*Plumber continues to "fix" the pipes*
Plumber: F*ck!
MILF: What happened!?
Plumber: I spilt coffee on my pants
MILF: Does it hurt?
Plumber: No.
MILF: Do you want to change pants? The closet in the bedroom probably has something that suits you.
Plumber: That's okay these are my work pants, they get dirty all the time.
*Plumber gets up*
Plumber: Is there anything else you need fixed?
MILF: The sink in the shower is doing problems lately. Can you check it?
*Plumber and MILF go to the shower*
LOCATION CHANGE
Plumber tries to turn on the sink causing the sink to splash water on the MILF's bathrobe.
Plumber: Are okay?
MILF: Yes I'm fine, I'll let it dry later.
Plumber: I think that the problem is in the faucet, you'll need to buy a new one. Is that all you need to be fixed?
MILF: Yes.
Plumber: The fixing of the sink and the checking of the faucet will cost you 45$.
MILF: I don't have any cash. Can I pay another way?
*The plumber grins (sexy music starts playing).*
Plumber: You can pay in the app.
MILF: What app?
Plumber: Here I'll show you.
*MILF hands the plumber her phone and the plumber "downloads" the app to her phone*.
MILF: Alright I'll pay you in the app. Do want a coffee or something for the way?
Plumber: I have to hurry, some asshole kid shoved twigs into the sprinklers in the park.
MILF: OK.
My (F23) boyfriend (M21) and I went away this past weekend to the coast.
Overall, we had a lovely few days. However, yesterday morning we were going on a walk though a quiet little wooded area when an older pervy looking fella tried “flirting” with me by whipping his dick out and asking me if I wanted to be with a “real man”.
I was completely taken aback by this guy’s brazenness. Sure, I’ve been flashed, harassed etc before but never right in front of my boyfriend. How would he react? Were we in danger?
My boyfriend calmly told him, “She already has a man” and casually whipped his own out. Once he saw the size of it, the creeper soon backed off and left us alone.
I couldn’t believe what just happened. My boyfriend can be very unorthodox and unpredictable in the way he chooses to handle situations (part of this is what attracted me to him) but this was too surreal. Honestly, I was just relieved that my boyfriend’s actions didn’t end up escalating the situation.
When we got back to the car, I was like, “I can’t believe you just did that” and half-joked that I wish he was around the other dozen or so times I was harassed. He was surprised to learn that I had been harassed previously, so this little incident opened up a nice little dialogue between us which never existed before (I’m a very private person and try to just brush comments, catcalls etc off as and when they happen).
Now before you dismiss such a notion, think about it for a second. They don't shower so you know they got that extra sticky extra grippy poon tang that will hold onto your Johnson and not let go like a bratwurst stuck to flypaper. That mushy gushy after years on the streets would be like sticking your dick in between the bars of the Pearly Gates of Heaven. Another thing is that the biggest cause of homelessness in America is mental illness, and everybody knows crazy bitches are the best in bed. 99 times out of 98 they are not pillow princesses; they fuck like their life depends on it. Riding it like a mechanical bull, gagging on your meat, calling you daddy, all that shit and more. Normally, you have to pay a premium for those extra deluxe grade A pussy appointments. When you fuck around with insane girls, it’s not uncommon for them to key your car, but homeless people don't even have keys; they're homeless. All of the benefits and none of the consequences. Yeah, the smell might be a little unpleasant, but you and I both know how high the threshold of disgust is for us fellas when we're balls deep. And our noses become resistant to foul odors fairly quickly so after awhile you won't even notice it. The only question is will you be able to last long enough in that box and not bust before that immunity kicks in. An added bonus is that you'll be able to finish inside cuz it's not like she's gonna be able to track you down for child support. She's homeless for fuck's sake. And the best part of this, is that it wouldn't even be that hard to do anyways; ten dollars worth of crack is the price of admission for the most exquisite pleasure you will ever experience. I'm telling you, open your mind, take a shot of penicillin, and ask not what you can do for the homeless population; ask what the homeless population can do for you.
I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be forgiven. I’m simply here to apologise.
What we came across in the woods that day was obviously unplanned. The reactions you saw on tape were raw; they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down and stopped recording what we were going through.
There's a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't. And for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to apologise to the internet. I want to apologise to anyone who has seen the video. I want to apologise to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But most importantly I want to apologise to the victim and his family.
For my fans who are defending my actions, please don't. I don’t deserve to be defended. My goal with my content is always to entertain; to push the boundaries, to be all-inclusive. In the world live in, I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said I made a huge mistake. I don’t expect to be forgiven, I’m just here to apologise. I'm ashamed of myself. I’m disappointed in myself. And I promise to be better. I will be better. Thank you.
I have noticed that, although Discord has 260 million registered accounts , my server does not have 260 million members. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to click 'join'. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to join my most recent servers. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
Tears fell down her cinnamon-tinted cheeks as she sniffs, long black eyelashes fluttering softly against her cheek as she stares at him, pressing her velvet lips together. "Please, just.. give me the nitro?" Clasping her hands together as she takes a step forward, her brown irises melting into his own orbs as she inhales shakily, rubbing her knees together as she looks away briefly, feeling shy. "I'll do anything. I'll suck your cock too.." She giggles softly, her maid outfit swishing against her thighs as she bites her lip.
